When you said fried chicken and watermelon I didn't think you meant me!
At least you get to go home, take that ridiculous looking costume off, and look normal again!
Sesame Street is brought to you today by the letter "O" and by the number 16 Trillion.
'Well at least Obama helped to save one job! Mine!'
"Big Bird, you were right! Earning millions of dollars for doing nothing of value is the way to go!"
If we only had Barney today, we could go as the "3 Stooges!"
"Listen, President Hoover promised a 'chicken in every pot'. I just wanted to tell you and your husband, thanks for making sure that never happens again."
"I suggest your husband watch our show and learn basic math skills."
Great, now a chicken big enough to fry and possibly fill me up.
Saving me from Romney doesn't give you the right to eat me.
"No resemblance? Really? He intrudes where he has no right, lies, tempts and takes our money. Even Elmo has been calling him Satan for years now."
Michelle, I'd be scared if you actually knew how to cook.
"The Cookie Monster has a beef with you about this carrot stick thing and wants to meet you out back in the alley."
"Pluck you and your husband both!"
Michelle, they really do need a kitchen this big to keep up with your eating habits.
Michelle, I don't have to worry because I'm not a "french fry".
"Now that you've turned Cookie Monster into something evil, I wouldn't turn my back on the rest of the cast if I were you!"
"Look, I understand what you're trying to do, but can we ditch Broccoli Bear and bring back Cookie Monster?"
"Well, if you're having trouble with that spelling lesson, you can always try an easier one."
Let me tell you, the country laid a big, fat egg when they re-elected your husband, and I know something about eggs!"
"Look, I get it that your husband is a puppet for George Soros, but I just don't see how we work that into the show!"
Don't worry Big Bird…we only eat dog!
That's right sista, I'm a honkey.
You aren't gonna eat me, are You???
At least I'm cute and loved by millions, you sure can't tell the truth and claim that Michelle.
Michelle, I think your husband may have missed the episode where we discussed how the economy works.
Michelle, I think you would fill the role of "Oscar the Grouch" perfectly.
Michelle, I've seen you eat; how would you like to be the new "Cookie Monster?"
You're not welcome to appear on our show, we don't want to deal with screaming children.
"So Michelle,I understand you want school cafeterias to serve birdseed. How's that working out for you?
" No Michelle, I'm not fat. I'm just big boned."
"Hey Michelle, I'll start dieting when you get Barry to stop smoking."
Michelle, I feel the need to have an intervention. It's time you acknowledge that Barack is a Socialist.
I don't understand…Why are the kids in the overn?
I know he said he still wanted me to have a job…but I didn't know it would be washing dishes!
Will he spare me if I indoctrinate 2 million more kids?
What do you mean, you "don't eat pork"?
It is nice to finally be talking to an intelligent animal. My husband is a bird brain
Even the pre-schoolers that watch me are smart enough to know you can't spend your way out of debt!
One of these are big, fluffy and goofy looking. The other is Big Bird…
How about you coming with me and I'll show you what a REAL fantasy world looks like?
Another restaurant closed due to your hubby's regulations! You must be so proud!
As Obama practices for his next job…
Even your black man can't compare to my beak.
Oh, sorry m'am… I thought you were a damn toucan. I just saw the black and orange.
You can smile now sister… but one more foreclosure on Sesame Street, and I'm gunna peck you and your husband to death in your sleep.
I'll tell you again, quit stalking me!!!!
Quit looking at me like that Michelle, you can't eat me.
What do you mean you have a big pot of boiling water on the stove???
And…and… you know whatMichelle? Joe told me you blow up Barrack… in his special blow-up thingy.. oh I am having fun aren't you??? You give Joe your head and blow up Mr. Obama.. is that an African thinng Michelle?
How do you keep youself soooo busy Michelle????, our President's wife…kids… and I heard I can lick your lips and stick you on the wall if you get bored…wow!!! Thats like rock climbing almost. And Joe likes how you blow him up before bed when Mr. President is on vacation…
Mrs. President, and…this is Michelle Obama kids… its always the right thing to do and introduce your friends to all your friends kids… and today Michelle our special word is 'nigger'… what is a 'nigger' and how do we spell that and make a new word we can use everyday?
Listen you idiot, you got me in this fu$king outfit… I am not going to sell your damn chicken and that 'I love you…you love me'… shit… is for a purple fu$king purple fu$k… thats your husband… I just mow the lawn here…
Hmmmm.. wow… this is really fun… Michelle… what are we doing in the kitchen with all these pots and pans and fires? Is this how we cook? Are we making more cookies today? Is that the Cookie Monsters head in the refrigerator??? He is taking a nap like I do… after all the teachers teach me.. do you like cookies too?
You, fryed, and a 700 pound watermelon would be my perfect meal!!! I can't maintain this ass on Weight Watchers.
C'mon Michelle.. Not even I'm buying this shit about you caring about America's Children!
Today On Sesame Street, Michelle Obama is brought to you by the Number "1″, and the letters "B-I-T-C-H"!
If you put on a fur coat and grab a banana, they'll take us both back to the zoo
WOW GIRL! You have as much "junk in that trunk" as I do !
Oh Michelle! I have read your book "1,000 ways to make carrot sticks LOOK like real food" !
Get the HELL OUTTA MY KITCHEN ! We eat REAL FOOD here !
Do I have to exercise NOW , or can I wait till we get done cooking?
I tried to tell the kids to eat carrot sticks Michelle, really I did…….But they, they, they threw cheeseburgers, french fries and pizza at me !!!!!!!
Michelle…..what do you mean I look finger lickin good?
Sorry Michelle… No hoodrats on Sesame St
Trick betta have my bird seed
No Michelle, Really…I'm not related to Joe Biden!
Oh, I'm sorry mam…I thought you said you wanted to flip the man a Big Yellow Bird…
"My, that is a big beautiful egghole you have".
"The better to bury your face in".
Oh, God, please don't eat me! I thought Romney killed you last year!
It would be less of a joke if I was the President of the United States rather than your husband.
If I want to smoke a pack of cigarettes, eat a box of candy bars, and drink a 12 pack of beer to make you look better, it's my damn right to do so! Stop trying to tell me what I can and can't do!
When can I get outta this chicken suit and start livin like you?
"You were expecting a pink elephant, maybe?"
Even I could be on your husbands cabinet.
Which one of these things is not like the other, which one of these just doesn't belong?
Sure, Mrs. O! We don't serve anything edible on Sesamee Street.
What do you mean; "How many calories are you?".
Why are you looking at me with those hungry eyes…in a kitchen?
No, Michelle, you cannot use me for an "outfit" for your next function!
How is it being married to 0bama the Grouch?
Hey! Your butt is as big as mine!!!
Wow, you are just as fat and ugly in person as you are in the pictures.
Hey Michelle, what are you smiling about? You're about as ugly as they come.
What are you smiling about Michelle. You look as though you think you saved me.