Where have I not been on vacation yet?

Hmm, what else have I not taxed?

Those people are still thinking about freedom; how do I put a stop to it?

Maybe I should save everyone the trouble and just jump off the fiscal cliff myself.

Madda fangu, America! 4 more years!!

baciami il culo, America! Kiss your freedom good bye!

Hmm, maybe I really am an incompetent socialist moron…

Hmm, I'm still trying to figure out why on earth I picked Joe.

"Who is this Fiscal Cliff fellow anyway?"

Hmmm…I've trashed healthcare, the economy, domestic energy, the space program…what else is there left for me to destroy?

There's got to be a way to blame the Sandy Hook shootings on Bush…

Now how do I exploit the Sandy Hook tragedy to get the 2nd Amendment repealed…?

Ok, so those bikers didn't… um, remove Joe like I wanted… maybe I can arrange for a convenient little "accident" instead…

What lies can I tell the American people today?

"Hmm What can I destroy next?"

Let's see, there has got to some way I can continue to blame Bush for everything.

Man, I got the American public believing everything I say. I feel like a "god".

Boy, this "Robin Hood" thing is fun and it buys votes, too.

Maybe if I can dish out enough entitlements, they will make me "dictator" for life.

Man, I got the Republicans on the run and they can't stop me. Good thing there are so many dumb voters out there.

Socialist. Narcissist. Liar. Marxist. Idiot. Tyrant….Obama.

What can I do to get Nancy to notice me??

How do I now signal the world-wide Jihad…

Hmmmm take all their guns… look at recreational crack and cocaine usage.. IRS audits on all 'caucasians'… increase subliminal focus on destroying white males.. decorate the Whitehouse for Ramadan..

Why did Davis have to be my real father? I feel another skin growth coming.

Hmm, our deficit goes up 4 billion a day. I bet I can get it six if I really try.

Damm, I'm good!

"How can I screw the American people today?"

Hmmm, so everybody's tax goes up if I do nothing. Hmmm.

Hmmm, who can I stomp on today?

3 day's growth, and all I get is this wild hair? People might start realizing that I'm missing something.

So, if Hillary Clinton WON'T TALK, and Susan Rice TALKS too much, and Suzanne Barr DOES too much, and Lisa Jackson E-MAILS too much, and Marth Johnson SPENDS too much, I think Joe's my best bet.

Hmmm how can I undermine the Constitution today?

I wonder if I can get Joe to hang-glide off that Fiscal cliff everyone's blaming me for?

How can I get Nancy to notice me ?

Of course I can say that.. I can say anything I want. The media will just go along with whatever I say.

You peasants call it a fiscal cliff, I call it my fiscal plan.

I wonder if this chin makes my ass look big.

"Follow me my lemmings. Right over the cliff."

Almost… socialism… who will take it to communism after I leave..

Who shall I vilify today?

Who can I screw today?

Benghazi… Banghazi.. what to do.. Ahhh! Hillary falls down and bangs her head… then a blood clot.. and then goes into a coma until 2016.. yea.. that might work..

I just wonder.. if I will be alive when they find out really who I am am what I was sent here to do.. where do I hide?

Hmmmmm….. I think my friends on welfare should be making more than the middle class…..I wonder what smokescreen I can legislate to make it happen….

What freedoms can I take away today?

What thing, that I don't know jack shit about, can I pontificate on today!

"What would Adolph do?"

I wonder if I look intellectual doing this?

Harry, Nancy, you have a brown smudge here…
You two take Brown nosing to a new level.

Hmmm, 1st stimulus emergency, Obamacare emergency, Fiscal Cliff emergency, Sandy Hook emergency….gun control. Can it really be this easy?

Look, we're giving tax payers a case of vaseline to go along with our new tax plan and no spending cuts deal. It's time for America to grab it's ankles.

Yes, Yes! I would like a Stradivarius with that!

"A MacRib would be really good about now…"

"I am stuck on Band aid brand cuz Band aid's stuck on me"

Wow I have this huge pimple on my neck… Oh wait, that's my head.

I can see it now. Obama elected America's first dictator. But why should Michelle get all the glory>?

"I wish I was an Oscar Meier weiner, that's is what I'd truly like to be. For if I was an Oscar Meier weiner, everyone would be in love with me".

How did I get that past them? Some people pay 40%, my people pay negative taxes!

"Hmmm. Maybe you can't fool all of the people all of the time, but you can fool enough of them."

You know, maybe next time I can get him to actually grab his ankles?

I'm just going to act like I'm thinking until that crazy teleprompter starts working again.

I wonder what we can get them to believe today…

Hmm, I have a brown chin…
I must improve my aim

Hmmm…Stalin had a mustache..

Next touch your nose.

Hmmmm – Hawaii or Vegas– which will it be?

Pinky, "Gee Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?"
Brain, "Same thing we every night Pinky… TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

I will not tax the 98%… "Things that make you go…hmmmmmmmm."

Hmmm… Should I lie directly to their face today? Or behind their backs?

Hmmm, how many more suckers are out there?

"I'll take 'Screw the Country for 16 trillion', Alex"

"I say this would be a great pose for Mount Rushmore. And take down the other faces while you are at it"

I wish Michelle had an ass like that.

C..O..N..S..T..I..T..U..T..I..T..U… Aww, fuck it.

"I wonder if I can take away cars because of one drunk driver?"

It's been really easy commandeering a country that's so whacked out it elected me twice.

DAMN, I REALLY F**KED UP THIS TIME

hum What women do i what to cheat on my wife next. Done done hilary,and sarah whos next on my list….

let me pinch myself, you mean its AFTER the election and i'm still here ???

I Wonder how much longer before we can start our first concentration camp!!

I hope they have not figured out that I bow only to Hitler!!

I hope they don't ask where that last trillion went

What? people really use assault weapons to hunt?

"What can I blame on Bush today"

What? Someone really threatened to impeach me?

Working Americans want fairness? Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

"Hmmm- I wonder where I left my brain at…."

If Beyonce had just had a teleprompter..

"Hmm! Even I am beginning to wonder where I was born"

Exalted Ruler or Grand Imman??

I just can't think of a way to tell Michelle that I like Hillary's big butt better than hers, especially sicne she has already jumped me about Oprah. I wonded how Bill would handle it.

What Would Mussolini Do?

Hmmm—-King Barack—–got a nice ring to it.

Did I let the illegals out to go pee today?

my next dream…a boy scout leader..

Allahu Akbar bitches!

Damn! Where do third graders get questions like this? People don't understand how HARD this job is!

Remember, when I touch my chin like this, you follow the guy that asked the question home and "take care" of him.

A touch to the chin like this symbolizes designating a person as a terrorist. Fire up the drones!

Hmmm, I wonder if Michelle is gonna give me some ass tonight?

Did you say Original or Extra Crispy?

Must. Look. Like. A. Leader.

Did I leave the iron on?

"I will not let the Constitution get in my way!"

If only the world could know, that my real father was MALCOLM X!

President of the United States of America now, but King of the New World Order by 2018! Yea, dats what I'm talkin bout!

Oh Joe, why do you shake it at me like that? You know what older white gentlemen do to me!

Why do the even care about birth certificates and college transcripts when I can look so presidential doing this?

Hmmmm. Maybe if I touch my hand to my chin I'll look like I'm in deep thought. Worth a try.

Maybe I should have the FED start buying Powerball tickets?

Hmmmm, what line of BS should I use on them today? Yeah, it's all the Republican's fault again, that one ALWAYS works!

Yeah, that's right, give them your "pensive" look. That always works with these morons!

"Maybe I really am a dick."

Will bands really make her dance?

Hey jforbes, take your gay ass back to mexico bitch!!!