Hold on. My teleprompter should be here in about five minutes.

Sorry, I don't have time for any more questions, I have to catch the 6:00 flight to Las Vegas!

Sorry guys, I have to go; my impeachment hearing is in five minutes.

Yes! I beat my lies-per-minute record!

Yes in just a few short hours I will no longer be your dictator.

Look how great I am, you can set your watch to my lies!

Let's see… I'll get back to you on that Benghazi thing in about 4 years.

Oh look, it's time to pack up for my move.

Vacation time already?

Let's wrap this up. My tee time is in 10 minutes.

My watch shows that I am barely a week away from the start of my lame duck period.

With every gain Romney makes in the polls, this thing does not move backwards as fast as it used to.

Let me be clear…this Benghazi issue…
Oh gee! It looks like I have to run and pick up Joe and Hillary from the playground!

No, my watch is not made in America. But like America it moves backwards as long as I am in charge.

Beam me out of here, Scotty… They are on to me!

If you re-elect me, everyone in the middle class will have a Rolex just like mine.

Worlds smallest teleprompter.

Gotta go now America, my how time flies when you're destroying a Democracy.

Looks like I have 4 seconds, I'll take some questions from Fox news.

MICHELLE & I JUST DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO FINISH DESTROYING AMERICA BEFORE THE ELECTION, THAT'S WHY WE NEED FOUR MORE YEARS TO FINISH THE JOB

HMM… NOT ENOUGH TIME TO RAISE MORE TAXES, PLAY GOLF OR TAKE ANOTHER HAWAIIAN VACATION BEFORE JANUARY 21, 2013

And I would love to stay a little longer,but, the movers will be here at 5:00,,

Got to go, Moochelle's feeding time is in 5 minutes and she gets very cranky

What do you know, there goes Fluke's 15 minutes!

Please hurry and finish packing guys, president Romney will be here in 5 minutes

Would you hurry the questions please. I have an 11am tee time

Well, that was a record for me, my first "five minute" press conference.

I'm timing my teleprompter to see how long it takes to give me the answer to your question.

Time is "Debt", so you got ten seconds to ask your question.

According to my watch, I don't have enough time to answer your questions.

Let's see, the little hand is on two and the big hand is on twelve so it must be tee time.

"Aww shucks, no time for Israel!"

"And the bullshitting will commence in 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…"

Holy crap, it's time for me to make up a new lie about Mitt Romney.

No time for questions now…. I have to go see Baba Wawa!

Vacation time!

It's almost time to set YOUR watch back four more years!

If you vote for me, you can set your watch back four years like mine.

Lets see, we've had no budget in four years, on my watch!

"Well, looks like my time is running out."

"Libya? Oh My! Look at the time!"

"Joe ought to be saying something stupid right about…. now!"

"Geez, the numbers on the Obama Countdown Clock are really getting small!"

Sorry time is up on asking questions, it is time for me to…. go save children of the world. (side comment) If you mean by save children of the world is to go get an massage.

I know there's a storm, but I don't have time to go to New York. They're already voting Democrat!

Oh look at the time, it is time to go spend another trillion dollars.

"We haven't failed. We've simply run out of time!"

Pretty ring, my precious ring. And plain as day it proclaims the greatness of Allah and not a thing about my wench of a wife! Pretty ring, my precious-s-s-s.

"You'd think that for $50, a Rolex would keep better time than this!"

"Gotta go. Time to pray."

How much time till January 20, 2013?

Well everybody, it about that time for me to bring up the "Blame Bush" agenda.

As for Benghazi…..Would you look at that, it's time to hit the links.

I think I wasted enough of my valuable time on these people. Hello golf here I come.

I'm going to tell all of you what really happened in Benghazi…. Oh would you look at the time, I have to run.

OK guys….The big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5. I gotta go feed the sheep.

The lies will commence in exactly 1 minute.

Shit! Tea Time!

I've told enough lies for one speech, besides I've got to meet George Clooney in Vegas at 3.

Shit! Tee Time!

Yep… my 1 term proposition is about over!

Yep, time for another fundraiser. Where does the time go?

It's been a whole second since I told my last lie.

I'll be here for about 2 and a half more months.

If you would excuse me, it is time for me to catch Air Force 1 for my vacation

Sorry guys, I have to go. It is time for me to go relax and watch the next terrorist attack.

Alright, look at there. It is almost time for my new voters to come rushing across the border.

I think I've sounded concerned for long enough. I'm outta here.

This storm hit at just the right time! Now I don't have to answer any questions about crazy things like the constitution!

God damn storm! Ganna be late to my fucking tee time

Romney administration in T minus…

I guess my 15 minutes of fame are just about up.

See this watch? Timex didn't build that.

Wow. That must be a new record! I took the US from first to worst in just four years.

Its time to wrap this up, beyonce on jay z are waiting on me

Gotta go the big blue plane is still running

Sorry but I don't have anymore time for you people….Mo will kill me if I'm late for my next vacation!!!!

January 2013 already?!? Time sure flies when you're having fun on America's dime.

Time for questions is over. I have a golf game in 10 minutes.

Oh, look at the time, I am late for my vacation, and you know how Michelle gets when she can't go on vacation.

Gee I should have 3 more seconds to talk. Where are my 3 seconds? I demand my 3 seconds.

Sorry, no questions, I got to get out of here before the storm hits. Don't want to be stuck here with all you peasants.

Every time the second hand moves, another Obama voter gets a welfare check.

Every time the second hand moves, another Obama voter crosses the border.

30 seconds without looking at the teleprompter – a new personal record!

…and in the time I have spent here talking to you I just ran up another $10 billion in debt.

Ladies and Gentlemen – President Romney will be here in 5…4…3…2…1…

It's 4:59. I'm off the clock as of …..now.

Lets see.. 5 days 10 hours 37 minutes 17 seconds left of my presidency. What else can I screw up in that amount of time.

Just checking my LIES PER MINUTE

5,FORE,3,2,1…..get it??

Well, it's 6pm and by all accounts…..I still suck!!

Benghazi? Well, we…oh look at the time. Gotta go!

By this time next week I'll be talking to a realtor.

36 holes scheduled today… If we hurry this along I can try to fit this President thing in.

Oh Shit! Look at that Joe it is the first of the month.

I love my Mickie Mouse watch, it's symbolic of my presidency.

Vote for me and I'll continue to move us back in time, just like my pals in Afghanistan want to set the time back 4000 years.

"Look America! I'm so smart! I even know that the big hand is the minute hand…. Or is it the hour hand….?"

I'm out of here, it's time for my next photo-op.

I have time for one question, but not about Benghazi, can't keep Letterman waiting.

OK, Libya's in flames, New York is under water, Biden opened his friggin' mouth again, blah blah… I can't miss my 3:00 tee time.

You want the time? The little hand is on the three and the big hand is on the six.

Hm, I wonder if it really is five o'clock somewhere.

You guys are wasting my time. I'm gonna miss Grey's Anatomy if you don't get with the questions!

Let's hold on a minute, I haven't blamed Bush in 3 minutes..

Oh oh. Time for another vacation

Its time to blame George Bush again

Time's up, I am going to party with Madonna

There goes 1 trillion dollars..
and another trillion..
and another
and another

This is fun!

Time to make the donuts. Christie is staying with me.

"Well, I would like to discuss Benghazi with you, but the plane leaves in a few minutes for a campaign in Vegas."

"Five minutes to Wapner FIVE MINUTES TO WAPNER!"

What time did I take that blue pill……..f*&%

And in uh….2 days… I will be running back to Kenya and taking Air Force One…

Hold on just a sec. The busload of my supporters … you know … the ones that do all that hoot'n and holler'n in the background … will be here in 3 minutes.

Only have to lie to these morons about how well the economy is doing for 5 more minutes. Then I pick up Michelle at the spa and we jet off to NYC for a romantic dinner.

Oops. Time to check in with George Soros and get my talking points for the week.

According to my official Air Force One time piece, I have less than 90 days left in office so you will need to Romney about this Benghazi mess.

Benghazi, yeah, we inherited a real mess from Bush on that deal. Now, let's move on to actual news, like how presidential I look.

Oh that the time got to go find some more bullshit to feed you

hmmm..if the big hand is on the 12 and the small hand is on the 3 then…..SORRY FOLKS, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR QUESTIONS.

Uhhh.. yeah… right about now, the Ambassador, two ex-SEALS and one ambitious CIA agent should be dead..

America! In case.. you haven't noticed lately… no more teleprompters… Hillary has given me .. yeah me.. Her favorite 007 Secret Agent watch…

I don't know how it works yet… no pictures…but its cool and thas what matters..

I don't know how it works yet… no pictures…but its cool and thats what matters..

"Don't worry I will have another lie for you in just a second"

"This new teleprompter in a watch thing isn't working out so well."

"And there goes another trillion in debt."

"My golf match is in 5 minutes so lets tell some more lies before then"

"See this rolex.. I didn't pay for it you did"

It doesn't work, but looks good….like me.

Well ..
Gotta go, expect "Two Men and a Truck" at the side door of the "White House" any minute,
Thanks to Mitt!

So little time … so much to redistribute

According to my calculations my time in the White House is almost up!

"Mickey's hands are giving me a 'crotch salute' like I give the Troops and flag"

'Scuse me, folks…time for me to vote and get revenge.

So little time, so much to redistribute!

Look at that! My four years are almost up!

January 21, 2013: "We didn't know what a mess we inherited from the last administration."

If its not about how I can take more of American's money, I'm out of time.

Ooh, just enough time for three more lies.

Time to let another Ambassador die.

Time to pray, which way is East?

Yes, it's been ONE YEAR since my Jobs Council has had their meeting, am I lazy or what?

3…2…1…I have officially robbed you blind. Enjoy!

Oh, I gotta get going. My vacation plane is set to leave in two minuts but the good news is that it's all paid for. Thank you for making my vacation possible!