But I did give this much in donations on last year's Income Tax.

I have this much care for the lives of American citizens.

I now have this much of a chance of winning the election.

This is how much the military respects me.

Under my new plan, our ambassadors overseas will have this much security.

This little pebble is larger than my brain.

Give me another 4 years, after all I did grow the economy this much.

I told the truth this much.

If i ever pretend to care about you, I will pretend this much.

I was this close to destroying America.

In all honesty, this is how much I REALLY care about the middle class…

I am so uptight about this election that my penis is this big…

Where's that Fox reporter? I'm gonn flick this booger on him!

I care about America this much

Joe was exaggerating when he said I carried a big stick. My stick is only this big.

Constitution? Meh, it's just a thin piece of paper. Like toilet paper if you will.

If your point you are trying to make is that I am "stupid" then you would be correct.

You see, you don't understand. Socialism is what I am trying to implement here not free enterprise.

Just what part of "I'm stupid" do you not understand?

Yes, Joe Biden speaks for me. Anything he says, I back up.

Look, if there is anything left to tax, I will tax it if you give me four more years.

"This is the World's Smallest Violin I intend to fiddle while America burns."

I swear to Allah, it WAS a YouTube video!

"Does anyone have a Kleenex?"

… and, you see, the Itsy-Bitsy Spider; he wasn't done. He crawled up the spout, again. Now it's MY turn to be the Itsy-Bitsy Spider!

Do you feel that Mitt? I'm SQUEEZING your tiny head inbetween my huge fingertips!

"I'd like to spend a few seconds talking about this administration's accomplishments…."

I only plan on amending the Constitution, this much.

Hear this? It's the worlds smallest violin. Now quit your complaining or I'll give you something to complain about.

Don't blame me for the failures of the last 4 years. We all know it's Bush's fault.

Understanding his accomplishments.

Let me be clear….I care this much about all you sheep.

I care about this much for what the American People think they want.

I've seen Bill Clinton in the locker room… He can't compare to me…

"..they have worked hard, they have worked smart, they have invested wisely, and that just isn't fair. You should be jealous of their wealth."

"Believe me I know that ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. It's Saul Alinsky's fifth rule. I just don't want you to apply it to Pelosi."

Thanks to my unimpressive first term I have about this much chance for a second one.

This is how much respect I have for the Constitution

I love this country this much.

My IQ is this big.

If re-elected, this is how much you will get to keep after I finish with taxing you.

My brain is about this big, can't believe you still vote for me.

This is how you hold a joint properly.

Fox News, Rush, Drudge, WSJ, Washington Times, Weekly Standard, Human Events, Real Clear Politics, National Review, Heritage Foundation, Newsmax…it must be true that 50% of Americans can't read, or I wouldn't be standing here.

Getting jobs for you people mean about this much to me…

I care about this country this much.

"Fort Hood was work place violence, Benghazi was mob violence and the Republican attacks against my administration are nothing short of terrorism."

My backbone is this big…..

TWO BALLS AND A DICK.

After my health care bill officially goes into effect, you will still have this much of your paycheck to take home.

After I open the borders with Mexico, there will only be this many actual citizens in this country.

The private sector will only be this big when I get done.

This is how much respect America will have when I am finished.

Frankly America, I give a damn about this much.

yes it's this big, but only because of my white half, dammit!

I care almost thiiiiisss much about your American Constitution.

I've got about this much to go before I have completely destroyed the constitution.

My work is just one giant turd, but all I have to do is polish about this much and you fools will vote for it.

Four more years is only a tiny blip when you consider infinity.

My balls, my brain, my credibility, the amount of truth I speak, this country's chances for survival if I get another term… They're all this big.

Let me be clear… I, uhh, ya-know… Four more uhh, AND… But uhh ya-know…

This is the worlds smallest MP3 player playing "There's another tear in My Beer" for ya!

Give me four more years and you'll see this much improvement over my last four years.

The 4 dead in Bengazi mean this much to me.

This is how much I truly care about the American people!

See, if you have the faith in me the size of this tiny mustard seed then I'll be re-elected. Oh snap, I mean Allah Akbar!

"This is how much I care about you except in an election year."

This is the actual size of Joe Biden's brain…but it's still bigger than my chances of winning a second term!

My eyes must be going. For a minute there I thought the teleprompter said "Here's my plan." But now I see that my plane's here … gotta run.

Barry sings "The Itsy Bitsy Spider".

This will be the size of your paycheck when I get through with you.

This is how much I care about the constitution

when I finish taxing you this is how much pay you can expect to take home

This is the size of my penis.

This is how much of a chance you'll have of living while under Obamacare.

"Michelle makes me eat that sh– too, but I only eat a little bit."

Yes America, your are rught….this is how much compassion i have for you all

Hope and change didn't work. Revenge is all I've got now.

This is how much I actually care about America.

"I showed Bubba how to hold a joint but like him i dont inhale, I just suck!!!!"

Those letters look about this big. C'mon staff, better teleprompters make better speeches.

If I could measure the promises I have kept …

And Joe's is this big.

Did you see my new "plan"? It's this thick!

You will be allowed to keep this much of your earnings of I am re- elected.

So I pinched Michelle in the toosh like this, and the next thing I remember was waking up in the Rose Garden.

And this is how much freedom you will have after I'm reelected.

I promise to only tax you this much.

They asked how much I cared about the American people, and I was like…

Here Clinton, I saved you the roach. What? No the roach. Damn dude, put your miracle ear back in.

I always come this close to telling the truth

This is how big my dick is michelle is only staying with me because I make the money and she is livin large