I'm sorry, Mr. Pirate, but I've pillaged and destroyed a lot more towns than you have.

Are you really known as Capt Butt Pirate? The GLTB representative.

Okay, we'll both loot what's left of the treasury.

One razes villages, and the other raises taxes.

Somehow you don't look like a Somalia pirate? What is your proof?

Now hold on, Mr. Pirate; it's MY job to steal people's hard-earned wealth, not yours.

Now, tell me how much gold will it take for you to kidnap Mitt Romney?

Look, we're in the same business. But unlike you I like to dress as Robin Hood to steal from the rich.

Look, I know you're the one who stole from the treasury; but I need you to help me blame this on Romney.

As you know I am interviewing for a replacement for Joe Biden as my running mate in 2012. You look qualified. You can't be any worse than Joe.

That's a great "pirate" Halloween costume!! Do you like mine? I'm pretending to be the "President of the United States".

Check out my costume – it even comes with a fake birth certificate.

Tell me again how you trained that bird NOT to s**t on your shoulder.

No, you didn't fool me for a second Nancy. Now git outa here before I shove that hat up your a**.

Polly want a cracker? Why won't your parrot come to me?

It's called "Privateering," Captain. I've been doing it to the American people since January 2009.

The clown I have as VP isn't working out, so maybe a pirate would work better. What do you say?

Look, why don't we work together, there is plenty for both of us.

Funny…you don't look Somali

Hey man….can I wear that when this show's over?

Are you a real life pirate? I always wanted to meet a real life pirate….

One is a pillager that steals your money for his own enjoyment, the other is a PIRATE

Captain: Take what you can
Obama: Give nothing back
*both singing* Yo Ho Yo ho
A Liberal Life For Me

Obama: We have something in common. You have a Black beard….

"Hmm, disarm and plunder your unsuspecting victims. I like the way you think Barry."

Dude, you don't need that getup nowadays to rob the American people. I mean…look at me.

No, no, no. *This* is how you steal wealth from the American people. First, say stuff about "hope and change" to get yourself elected President…

I like your strategies. Here's mine: First, say stuff about "hope and change" to get yourself elected President…

One pretends to be someone who rapes and pillages, while the other one actually does rape and pillage and thinks he has a legal right to do so.

Which one is the REAL pirate?

At least the pirate is honest about his intentions, unlike…

You've got a parrot, I have Biden. You have a hook, I have Obamacare. You have a patch, I can't see truth. You have ugly clothes, I have Michelle. Hell, I'm a pirate!

First I want to apologize to all the Somali pirates for being such a strong competitor in stealing from people…

So, if I dress like that I can steal even MORE from Americans?

We steal from people too, but we call it "taxes"…

So basically you're saying pirates just openly rob, pillage and destroy? Hmmmm interesting.

So, if I just learn how to say "arrrrgh, matey" then stealing is really ok?

Wow if I had a hook like that I could be even more dangerous than I already am.

"THE ABSOLUTE STUPIDEST WASTE OF PRESIDENTIAL TIME EVER CAUGHT ON FILM."

And to think… we worry about how much golf he plays. Now he's talking to pirates.

What's next… an interview with the tooth fairy?

Now Tim, what did I tell you about wearing that to work?

Yes, under Obamacare, you'd receive a new eye patch AND hook every 18 months.

I told you NOT to feed Michelle after midnight.

You didn't pillage that. Someone else made that happen.

The president talks indepth about "Economic Recovery" with his top 'Revenue Advisor'.

I've looked over your proposal and I must say, I think it's a perfect model for the new, improved IRS.

Yes! Our sidekicks Biden and Sponge Bob are very similar in their speaking.

Wow, Captain Hook, your look has captured my view of the people in the Middle East. We just don't need to take them so seriously.

You're a fine looking Chief of Staff. You encapsulate the mockery I have made of all things in American leadership.

It's a good thing you had your surgery before Obamacare. You wouldn't even have a hook.

Yes, I need the pirate vote. I need to carry Pittsburg.

Blackbeard gives Barry a few tips on the effective appropriation of other people's treasure.

Yeah, I'm sure I can deliver the Pirates' Union vote – what's in it for me?

Can you tell me how you sank the great ship called America?

What We Have Here Is Just A Typical White Person

You and I are alot alike. We are both thieves and liars.

Seriously? The Pirates of The Caribbean have nominated me pillager-in-chief?

I'll have more flexibility to appoint you as my Security Czar AFTER the election.

Eat your heart out Netanyahu

Somalia's taken but I have a new Ambassador of Libya position that just opened. You'd be perfect for the job.

Wo needs a hook and a sword? I have the IRS!

Kenya has a Navy? Who knew?

My ship is sailing in November so can I hitch a ride with you to Indonesia?

So, you're saying it should be "Take from the rich and keep for yourself?"

"See now this was my original dream"

"Yeah I have a hook to its around America"

Well, when you said "Booty" I thought you were talking about Michelle's ass…

Hey, Barack, you're supposed to talk like a pirate not act like one.

Obama, believing he's talking to the president of Piratatovia, gives him a billion dollars.

"Michelle?? Thats ok, I'll pass on THAT black booty"

Interview for a more appropriate Vice President.

"First Lady? HA! more like black sea hag"

"Now Barry….We've been doing business for a long time, but don't you think it should be my turn to rape and pillage the innocent for a change?"

I understand it was found by accident, but we do not want Bin Laden's body back.

Listen, just because folks aren't buying the Chevy Volt, that doesn't mean they're gonna buy your sail powered car.

I'll tell you what I told the other guy… After I'm re-elected, I'll have a lot more flexibility.

HEll Yes I can get you food stamps and a free cell phone too!

Yes it does look very nice on you Joe but don't wear out your costume before Halloween even gets here.

You're from Pirateland???????? That must be our 58th state.

"That's correct. Obamacare will cover it if you forget and accidentally wipe with the hook."

A hook and a crook.

"Please, please Mr. Pirate,sir, allow me to apologize for what President Jefferson did to your ancestors, the Barbary pirates,all those years ago. Would you like to see my new video in which I apologize to all pirates everywhere, for all time?"

"I was… Going to make you Vice President till I saw that you were.. Born in America andwasn't Socialist or corrupt of the Mind. Maybe youc an be Securitary of State?"

"I was… Going to make you Vice President till I saw that you were.. Born in America and weren't Socialist or corrupt of the Mind. Maybe youc an be Securitary of State?"

Let me clear, I told you Obamacare would cost you an arm AND a leg.

In a true show of bi-partisan faith, the president meets with a Jewish pirate.

Sorry Captain, I don't have any rum. How about a nice glass of Kool-Aid?

"But, I thought I already was in Fantasyland!"

"OK — you're my new Green Energy Czar. Between you and me, we'll get this solar thing done by hook or by crook!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. President — I can't help you with that. Even pirates have standards!"

"Do you think you could score some Disneyworld tickets for me, Michelle & the kids?"

"I'll ask them again, Mr. President, but the boys just aren't interested in unionizing!"

They both fly a friendly flag until they get close then loot and rob!

You're the perfect image for my social programs, you mind if we use you. After all here you are one hand and all.

Instead of burying the treasure, why not give it to my campaign?

Obama explains to Captain Hook how he is now out of a job because now ObamaCare will be pilaging citizens' bank accounts via the IRS.

ARRRRRR! Obama, ye put me to shame with your impressive lootin', pilagin' an' burnin' skills!

"America surrenders."

I understand that Peter Pan will never be old enough to work, but you didn't think to tax him anyway?

In Neverland, nobody has a job, and all you do is steal? Hold on a minute…this sounds familiar…

The kids in Neverland get to play all day, but don't have to work at all? And then they turn into donkeys? Hmmm…you just gave me an idea…

I told them I'd make time for Nettin' Yahoo

Do you ever feel ashamed when you steal from people? Me either but I have a feeling I'm ripping off many more people than you are.

Yeah, but you get to use a gun and sword. I have to make these roobs WANT to give me all their money!

Think we can convince them that you are Netenyahu in disguise?

…and under Obamacare, your hook polish would be free.

So all those gallions that sunk…..that was Bush's fault?

Mr. Pirate, thank you for teaching me everything I know.

Sorry, I already have Joe as my partner on the ballot.

So it's a deal you will help me steal the rest of the money and you will hide it on one of your islands in Hawaii

I'm so glad I made time to meet with you. Netanyahu can just wait.

Once again, showing his prioritization skills in foreign affairs—–Barry meets with a Somali leader instead of the Israeli leader.

I'm sorry, Barry, but have you ever seen a black pirate before?

Sorry, Barry, but you're just not pirate material. You're supposed to keep everything you plunder – not take it and give it to everyone else.

"You pirates are always taking what doesn't belong to you and forcing your will onto others. Great idea!"

Yes,the United States has a history of treating the pirate people horribly. I apologize for our wretched behavior. We'll pay reparations, of course. Please take whatever you want.

Come on, from one Pirate to another~You are Muzlum aren't you~!!!!

I knew this would be more fun than meeting with Netenyahu.

I'll win this election by hook or by crook.

Vote for me and I will see that Michelle gives you a piece of the action.

Small world… that was your SON I had shot?

I bet that stuffed parrot is smarter than Biden.

"Obama meets with one of his policy advisers."

Obama meets with one of his policy advisers.

"It's simple Captain, make policy, make rules, and then exempt yourself from them."

"Nah I don't make them walk a plank. I just deny them medical attention."

"Why are you wearing Michelle's clothes?"