Look, can't we all just blame this on Bush and call it a night?

Do we have to talk about the economy? It's not like anyone cares about it.

Joe, PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy stop speaking!

Oh no, Joe's about to give a speech.

I'm so tired of Americans telling me they don't have a job anymore; it's not like I can do anything about it.

Omg..can't they just shut up so I can go play golf!

Hmm Romney has a point..NO ONE is asking for his birth certificate.

He WHAT? That's the last time I lend Joe the golf cart!

Jeremiah Wright on line 2 again?
Why can't that man stay under the bus?!

Why did i run for office again? Everybody hates me.

Wait one minute.. is that a twinkie I see Michelle sneaking?

I am going to get so creamed!

Man, I'm never gonna make my tee time

Who needs a teleprompter, I can just write keep points on my palm and read it like this. No one will ever know.

Hmm… nice cleavage shot. I've seen better…

Oooo, Michelle baby! What did you eat? My eyes are tearin'

Ugh! Are we almost done? I have a tee time in 15 minutes

Oooo hey michelle i want a big mac not this grass

Damn, Michelle is just as hiddeous with one eye open as she is with two.

What is Biden doin in the corner?

That question about "Boxers or Briefs?" is giving me a headache.

Unless I can answer that question with "It's George Bush's fault", I'm screwed.

Please tell me Seal Team Six has taken Joe Biden out.

I'm getting a headache, all these questions and no teleprompter to answer them.

Look, can we adjourn to the golf course? I do my best work out there.

"Lord Satan, please get me through this meeting."

What was I thinking?

Joe, you dumbass

I can't believe Joe said that…

I've got a headache and it's got "ROMNEY" written all over it!

Congressman Ryan, you seem like an intelligent person. So why would you think I understand anything about budgets, debt, economics or how to fix the economy?

or

Congressman Ryan, now you've crossed the line. Everyone in this room knows that you're purposely confusing me with all this talk about budgets, debt or economics.

I just wish this was already over so Matthews and I could come out of the closet.

Great, another meeting. They'll probably want to talk about the economy.

Don't make eye contact with Pelosi… Don't make eye contact with Pelosi…

Obama El Magnifico solves all your problems with mere thought. Unemployed? I'm thinking about it. Uninsured? I'm thinking about it. Middle East? I'm thinking about it. Four more years? Don't even think about it.

Blah blah debt, blah blah Constitution, yeah yeah yeah. Can we wrap this up? Tee time is at 3:00.

"Holy Crap!! So, what your saying is I'm not gonna get anything out of that Solyndra deal"

Only a few more months and I'm outta here.

HOW in Allah's name can Hillary and Michelle both talk at the same time yet both know what the other is sayin'?

Ohh good Lord, how do you suppose I can blame Bush for my inexperience?

Damn….Even I didn't see this one coming….Romney picks Ryan, and what do I have?…..Joe, mmmmm… maybe Bill can still talk to Hilary yeah that's the answer.

The voters are onto me..My goose is cooked. 4 years, living like a King without an honest day's work put in. Soon to be GONE. I still love me, that's all that counts.

Alinsky & Cloward/Piven said this would be easier….WTF?

It's not tension, it's that damn beer I make

If I don't make eye contact, maybe Fox News won't notice me.

Can't watch this… is that Janet Napolitano that Joe Biden is kissing on the lips now?

Need a vacation… need a vacation… need a vacation…

How can I keep screwing the taxpayers with this whole "Constitution" nonsense. And I wish Biden would stop watching Spongebob and leaving his toys all over my oval office.

Will they hurry up ! I have a country to ruin and golf to play!

How much more of this constitution crap do I have to listen to!

Who can I blame this on?

Oh crap, it's sex night,,, I hope Moochelle dosent want to be on top again!

All of these Racist dog-whistles that I'm hearing are starting to give me a headache.

If I hear "Constitution" one more time…

How much longer do I have to sit here pretending that I give a shit?

"I REALLY SHOULDNT HAVE HAD THOSE CHILI DOGS AT THE GAME LAST NIGHT, I WONDER IF JOE CAN SMELL IT"

Christ, the way she blabbers, you would think she was the President.

Michelle, why dont you go the f… home and watch the kids?
Leave the presidentual shit to me.

Damn, I hope they cant smell that.

"Well if I did my math right, the unemployment rate will catch up to the debt rate and they will cancel each other out. Right?"

Even she will not vote for me

"Damn it! I didn't think that just MAYBE some one would come along one day and do the math. Who is this Paul Ryan guy anyway!?

METALLICA!!

PSST! . . .PSST! Move your hand!(This is how I got through college)

Damn all the power in the world…and I still cant get the stank of Michelle off my fingers?

You know why all Democratic women masturbate with these 2 fingers? Because they are mine!!!

Damn I wish Eastwood was hear so my chair was empty. Please tell Debbie Wasserman Schultz to shut the hell up!

Oh, dear me. I hope nobody takes a picture of me in this gay pose.

GEEZE!! I should've stayed in Kenya, er, I mean Hawaii…

Let me see, is this the sign they call "the shocker"?

How much longer do I have to sit next to this woman?

Did I really select that moron as my vice-president?

John Burton said what?!?!?!?!
I told him GEORGE Goebbel.

I bet this chick gives better headache than Michelle.

Patriot headache number 16 trillion

My aching head. Someone saw Clint talking to me at the Republican National Convention.

All these stupid work questions are causing me to miss Dancing With The Stars.

I keep telling you idiots, "it's Bush's fault, dammit!"

Hook 'Em Horns!

"O CRAP! What was my lie for this question?!?!"

It is way easier screwing people over in Chicago

What do I do when people have nothing left to take…

"George Soros, what was your answer to this question again?"

"I think they figured out that I am CLUELESS"

The next staff member that asks me "Did you see the newest empty chair picture going around facebook?" is going to get a chair permanently attached to their rear end.

Oh, Allah. Biden is going to have to debate Ryan.

Oh no… They didn't let Joey B. out again did they?

Can't believe I triple-bogeyed five holes.
Good thing I don't count my whiffs.

This daily diet of koolaid filled bullshit is giving me a headache.

Oh, hell…you mean someone actually read that platform?

I didn't build that platform.

Not even Sandra Fluke will want to sleep with me after this one.

I love that low-cut shirt she is wearing.

Michelle, I can't take this much longer; I have to remember too much to cover up all the lies…

Damn, quit referring to the facts and data!
Some of those dummies might realize it's true.

I can't think…it hurts too much!

Why does Fox News have to ask me all the hard questions?

Now what am I going to do, they put God back in after I expicitly told them not to.

When I find the joker who put the empty chair on the table, he won't feel lucky.

If I believed in god I'd be preying right now!!!

Oh Jeez, another tweet from Biden.

When is my tee time again?

Now if I could just get the economy sealed.

I am so glad nobody has realized that everytime I lie my eye twitches

4 more years as President and I can legally become "The Dictator". That means no more elections.

Someone played the quote where I said I wouldn't run again if I couldn't turn the economy around in three years!