I want to thank the taxpayers for this fine yacht you provided for Michelle to take her vacations on.

No, I'm not the captain of a sinking ship!!!!

Yes, I will be getting on this thing to campaign down the Mississippi.

I have a message for the people who built this yacht: You didn't build it.

The "RazorBill" is Bill Clinton's way of getting away from Hillary.

Since I'm the captain of this boat, I will be the first to jump off if there's trouble.

I will be christening this ship with a bottle of Kool-Aid.

This is the kind of ship our Navy needs.

…and the taxpayer-funded yacht behind me is for Bo.

Since I'm the captain of this boat, I will be the first to jump off when there's trouble.

…and now, I would like to present the first-ever algae-powered boat! It doesn't move, but the radio plays nicely!

As you can see…as deep as my B.S. has gotten…we're gonna need a bigger boat.

It's the rich peoples fault. I'm not rich…I just have to look rich because I'm a wanna be President.

Introducing the new Obama-Aircraft Carrier, cost-reduced to fund Obama-scare.

This vessel was specifically designed and built for the sole purpose of completing my Worldwide Apology Tour.

For once, I'll be above board…despite my ongoing Titanic lies, planned national security leaks and counter-American policies to run our economy aground, I am virtually unsinkable.

Im here on the Razorbill to announce my new Bill to tax Razors

OK, who's the smart@ss who hoisted the absentee pennant?

They told me this ship was unsinkable… So I thought I'd come down here and put that to the test.

…and so today I announce my plan for the Sinking Ship Agenda.

I hereby christen this ship the USS GW's FAULT.

I want to thank all Americans for buying me this new fishing boat that gets 200 feet per gallon. I'll be on vacation for a while…

You didn't build this boat! Someone else built it with the $1.2 Trillion in stimulus funds outsourced to crony green companies of mine overseas.

And that's why I choose to come out here and christen Clinton's new bachelor pad… Because, like Bill, I know that having an ugly wife doesn't cut it.

This will be the new undocumented transportation. All those people that were brought over to America when they were younger, will be put on this boat in Cancun and brought to America where they belong.

I promise each and every one of you illegal immigrants getting off this boat free healthcare and amnesty.

"With the razor bill money I bought this boat. Now with my new shampoo bill I'll buy a plane."

What do you mean we have taken too many vacations? We're only on the letter R now.

My fellow American, I will up shit creek on this ship

This is the boat that will take me back to Kenya next January.

"Now, I didn't just get off the boat this morning…"

Now if you'll welcome my wife back from her most recent vacation…

I am proud to unveil a new tool to battle all them under-water mortgages.

I'm Robin Hood and I'm here to take from the rich bastard who owns this big ass boat.

Can someone please tell John Kerry to quit tax dodging his yacht in the Reflecting Pool?

I'll finish my term a few miles off the coast, so I don't have to deal with pesky laws and stuff.

BOY! I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY FROM THAT GUY.

They told me this was powered by a Chevy Volt

This is the New Solyndra reincarnated, a ship powered by wind turbines. So far Joe has powered it up the Chesapeake on my new Constitution.

Thanks to me, boats like this will not be able to operate because there is no "green energy" for them to run on.

Not only amnesty for illegals but means of shipping more in!

"Okay guys, keep loading those sacks of $100 bills…and make sure we have charts for the Azores. Time is running out."

The government will be taking over command of this ship and renaming it the Titanic. Michelle will then take in on its maiden voyage for another vacation.

This boat was built in China and it is a shining example of what we need more of in America!

This boat was built in China and it is a shining example of what we need more of in America… Chinese boats!

What America needs is more American boats to be built. So, to kick it off I will sail the seas on this Canadian built boat.

Not only did I save the auto industry, I saved the boat industry, too!

This is the kind of Solar Powered ship we could have built, if Bush hadn't bankrupted my green energy plans.

"Mission Accomplished! I killed Bin Laden!"

This is the boat that brought me over from Kenya! Dammit, I mean Hawaii!

In the hull of this boat we have 800,000 illegal aliens here to do jobs Americans won't do!

Not only do I want to screw the private jet industry, I want to screw over anyone who owns a boat bigger than 8 feet!

As the U.S. sinks Obama delivers his last speech before boarding his lifeboat.

This white boat is racist!

In another gaffe, Obama thinks the boat behind him is named after Slick Willie, when it is actually named after a sea bird.

You didn't build this ship, I built it with your tax money

Powered by my own BS turbine, built in Mexico, sailed by Kenya

Yes, I did spend tax payer money on a new yacht for Michelle. But ah.. you need to think about this… the more I send her out to sea, the less we have to hear her nagging about "healthy eating"..it's a win win situation.

Now Deadliest Catch was based on me marrying Michelle.

Mission accomplished!  We floated the Razor Bill.  Now we have to read it to find out what's in it….

I'll fix the economy later. Right now I'm going to sail out in my spiffy new trillion-dollar boat. That's much more important.

This is the locomotive for the first inter-continental railroad built during my administration.

Captain of a sinking ship.

"This ship is sinking and it's Bush's fault."

"You didn't build this ship. Actually it was made in China."

"..and it's new name is Red October."

"I am here to lie to you, er, I mean, talk to you this morning…."

This is for conducting my nautical campaign tour

No, son. "Razor Bill" is not my pet name for the former president.

This one is my new healthcare yacht, to go along with my floating wealth redistribution center, called "Razor Taxes"

This one also has the ability to use Michelle's butt cheeks as pontoons.

If the economy isn't floating, then I might as well be!

I borrowed this from John Kerry, tax free of course!

I would like to thank our fine Navy Corpsemen who will be stationed on this fine ship. Allah speed.

"..let's make the rich pay their fair…SQUIRREL…."

How gave them permission to ask a question?

Will somebody please remove the Razor Bill name and put in my new name: ONE TERM?

"Why isn't this boat named after me?"

America, i took all your change and built this boat, in hopes that i might have something to retire on

I'm renaming this boat "My Sharia" in commemoration of the Muslim holiday of Ramadan.

"If re elected ewww butterfly"

I present to you Navy One, the presidential yacht. Please change the name.

The dick on the dock.

In appreciation for Justice Roberts support, the medical community and I would like present the SS Minnow for it's three hour tour.

"And with my new battleship, I will show the Navy how to stop piracy off my homeland"

Uhhh, does that boat behind me come with a teleprompter so I can navigate?

And in honor of completing my hugely successful one term, the boat will be renamed the "Obama Concordia" before I step onboard.

Mitt Romney didn't build Bain Capital…I did.

It was I that captured Osama and threw him overboard into the ocean, off of this very ship! I demand your applause!

"Here it is my unveiling of the Titanic"

"Here it is my unveiling of the Titanic 2″

The boat will be leaving for Kenya on January 20th. The taxpayers have already bought my ticket.

"What the hell am I doing here? I wouldn't even play golf in this weather!"

"Before we get started, can someone please tell me what a 'Razorbill' is?"

"The only thing worse than standing out here in the rain, dedicating this stupid boat, would be having lunch with Nancy Pelosi!"

"OK, who screwed up the sign? It's supposed to be 'Raise Your Bill!'"

Yet another bill for the American taxpayer!

I am deeply honored to be chosen as skipper of the Minnow II. The way my campaign is going though, we may very well wind up with the same fate as the original Minnow.

No, my boat did not sink! It just filled up with water all the way to the top deck, that's all.

I didn't sink this boat. Someone else made that happen.

What idiot put the teleprompter up there?

Will someone please shoot that pigeon that crapped on me?

" The LOOOVE Boat…."

With this ship, I will personally shoot that Akula class submarine in the Gulf of Mexico just like I did Osama.

Noah, how long can you tread water?

I now christen this ship the USS Choom to honor my reefer buddies of the Choom Gang in Hawaii. Anyone here got a fat boy for the pres?

I want to christen this boat the USS Michelle because like my wife, this baby's got back.

I'm gonna correct Joe yet again by saying it's us liberals who put black folks in chains, and we're gonna keep you there as long as you let us.

This is a boat isn't it? Like Romney I will be seen with boats.

This boat i got from raiding the social security fund has everything! Hypnosis rays, bs filters, and a full mini golf course.

Now this isn't an aircraft boat… its just a white boat.. and I like your boats here..

Listen close I don't have my beloved Telepromter to lean on.

grammar edit on 8/14 9:56: …it's we.. (instead of "it's us")

Ya know, of the 5 Testaments of the Bible, I'd have to say my favorite is Job, and I've created lots of those myself.

"The love boat"

Paul Ryan is actually a decent guy unlike myself.

Paul Ryan is a decent guy, not that I'd have a clue about decency.

Paul Ryan is a decent guy, not that I'd have a clue what that means or why it matters.

They can try but you can't shame the shameless.

$100-$100-$150,can I get $200 on this gently used U.S Ship…

. . . I ALWAYS order the Pilot … to STEER … LEFT !!!