Let me see, how can I screw the American voters again.

Let me see, how can I dump that idiot Biden before the Dummycrat convention.

I wonder if I can make myself "dictator for life" with an executive order.

I wonder if Michelle knows I am cheating on her with Oprah.

Damn those are some pathetic college transcripts, I hope this never gets out.

I don't know what I can be wondering, I never ever have a thought of my own.

Man, I screwed up my first four years in office. I can only imagine what I would do with four more years.

Man, I sure hope those internal poll numbers aren't right. I would hate to lose in a landslide.

I wonder why people don't like me. Gave them socialism and Obummercare, what more do they want?

Come on teleprompter, give me my speech. I don't have all day.

Hmm, I could sure go for some poodle right now.

Hmm, I have to think of a way to destroy Romney's character since I have no record to defend.

This jobs conference is so boring; I want to go on another vacation.

I can only dream about four more years.

If only I had chosen somebody besides Biden to be my running mate.

Do we have to discuss the war on terror right now, general? I want to go golfing!

Wow, just think, a vacation without Michelle.

Look, can we not talk about something boring like the economy? It's not like anyone cares about it.

If I put my hand here every time I lie I can keep from laughing.

Lets see….which lie should I pound home today??

"Hmmm, I've effectively done away with Christianity, the press is obviously on my side, I have their health in my hands. Now how do I get their guns before those morons figure out the rest of it?"

Hmmmmm… I wonder if I can answer "Present!" again and still get away with it…

Hmmph… They still get to vote…
How can I change that…?

Someone moron told me this game of chess was the sport of kings. That damn Joe Biden! This game is more boring that attending one of my speeches.

I try to think, but nothing happens!

Let's see.. Raise taxes or take their guns… Or BOTH!!

Let's see what lie can I tell them now.

Gosh, I could use a smoke right about now.

Gosh, if I wasn't married to Michelle, I could hook up with Oprah.

Damn, my teleprompter is showing me some porn.

Hmmm, why did I give up smoking weed, anyway?

What job can I create now? I know, we'll have Joe lie in some political ads and blame Bush on the inaccurate information.

Even I have to wonder how much more I can get away with.

Just think…. all the crap I've pulled and some of these idiots will still vote for me. This is the life!

Obama stares longingly as his copy of "Mein Kampf".

Quick, take this picture of me looking like I give a sh*t.

Hmmmmmmmmm…. maybe I should have used my three wood off the #2 tee box instead of my driver this morning…..

Let's see now…. how many other ways can I come up with to buy illegal votes…….Free citizenship, check. Free welfare, check. I know, I can give away tacos!

"Hmmm, what's my next move? Tic-tac-toe is so hard!"

I never thought I would run out of lies, but damn I'm close.

I didn't know it would be this hard to keep my lies straight.

If I can just keep all my lies straight for three more months….

Which one of my lies would be the best answer….

Barry stops to rest his jaw between lies.

Being president is as easy as playing chess. Uh, how do you play chess?

"I wish I had a beard like Lincoln. Then I could stroke it like this instead of stroking my…"

Barry pauses between lies to massage his aching jaw.

Every time I look over at that flag I throw up in my mouth.

I was afraid that labrador retriever would try to come back up.

Hmmmm–What can I promise these idiots today?

Obama fakes Lockjaw when his teleprompter freezes.

Another day of tough decision making-do I work on the economy or do I play golf?

Let's see whose the worst president ever, me or Jimmy Carter?

Let's see, if I get four more years I can really make the United States a third world country.

Let's see, what other stupid thing can I make Harry Reid say about Romney.

Let's see, how can I raise campaign money? I wonder if it is too early to start selling pardons?

Kenya believe I made it this far?

Deep thoughts with Prez Barry
I shoulda used a 5 iron on the 9th hole.

Even I wouldn't vote for me.

Hmmm, what other information can I leak out that will help my reelection chances?

Hmmm, what else can I do to set a deficit record that will bankrupt this country?

Let me see, how can I make sure people don't find out how really stupid I am?

Damn, where would I be without my teleprompter?

Damn, it sure feels good being Robin Hood.

Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't be making speeches without my teleprompter because I can sure say some stupid things.

Hmmm, I wonder if anyone will notice if I eat that last donut.

THEY WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE THIS ONE OUT. WHEN I'M DONE WITH THESE IDIOTS THEY ARE GOING TO WISH MAO WAS STILL ALIVE.

Man, listening to the plight of the American people is so boring.

Hmm, I think this flag behind me would look better with a hammer and sickle on it.

I'm so far behind in the polls, I'd have to grab Mitts butt to see daylight….

If only I hadn't said that "You didn't build that….."…….that sounded just like one of Joe's gaffes

There's still 200M jobs to kill before re-election time, and gas isn't $5/gallon yet either, ah, daydreams

Hmmm, do I issue that executive order making me "dictator for life" now or do I wait until I'm sure I'm going to lose.

Oh my gosh, Michelle's eating habits are going to be a budget buster.

Wow, vacations, so many vacations, its a good thing the taxpayers are paying for all of Michelle's vacations.

Hmmm, what is going to be the best way to lie and cheat my way into another four years?

Thank goodness I have the liberal media to cover my back as I tell as many lies as I want to win reelection.

Missing his links.

Voice: Checkmate!
Obama: What do you mean checkmate? You didn't make that move, someone else did!

Let's see now what will I do, play golf or go on vacation.

I'll have to remember this porn website.

"And my next move is King (that's me) takes pawn (that's you). Chess? Who says I'm playing chess?"

I wonder what liberties I can take from the American people next?

Oh wait! I didn't think that!

How are we going to get people to the convention? Amnesty for attendees? That might work.

Damn, I'm gonna miss those Chick-Fil-A Sandwiches!

The look on Barry's face as he takes yet another dump on America.

The president musing about how he can be "more flexible" after the election.

I really need to meet with that Netanyahu character again..sigh… but I REALLY need to work on my handicap… decisions…decisions..

Hmmmmmmmmmm Poodle or Labrador ?

So…what can I blame Bush for today?

OK… remember… wear flag lapel pin, DON'T wear WWSAD (What Would Saul Alinsky Do) bracelet, until those morons re-elect me.

I've got the way to "stick it to whitey"… after those idiots re-elect me I'm gonna rename the country Niggeragua!

If Teleprompter could do "thought balloons" maybe I could figure out what the hell is going on!

Coordinating with the Super PAC? Well, yes, but I'll use Executive Privilege if I have to. It will be ok.

Now if only I had some dog to go with this Chicken…..

What Fairy-Tale character should I call Romney next?

"Guns, guns, guns. How do I take away their guns? I know! The Affordable Gun Act! I'll ration guns and ammo and have a panel that decides who can have what! Genius!"

A one term president ponders his future.

How depressing; so many lies to tell, so little time…

Boy, that webcam I set up in the women's bathroom is pretty neat.

Hmmm, what am I going to do, Michelle threatens to leave me if I don't let her take anymore vacations.

Hmmm, I wonder how Michelle is going to get in all those vacations before I leave office at the end of the year.

They will not fall once again for that slogan of “hope and change” as the answer for my re-election, now what to use? I wonder how Class warfare will work.

I wonder how much taxpayer money to put an 18 hole golf course on Air Force One?

Egg salad, tuna salad…egg salad, tuna salad??

Deep thoughts, from a shallow mind.

"HMMMMMM, what color jewels should I put on my crown? And my cloak?"

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese…

Damn, how many zeros are there in a trillion again?

Clamping his jaw tightly, Obama shows the only method of stopping his lies.

I coulda sworn there was 57. I'm gonna count again.

Hmmm. Why'd Dolan really invite me to dinner?

Hummmm where is this change I promised?!

Hmm. No I really consider it making love to America not screwing America.

Can anybody get this damned teleprompter working!

Oh man, Paul Ryan. This just got a whole lot harder.

All the people that are commenting on Paul Ryan's pick as Romney's VP are saying what a great friend Paul is. I don't have any friends.

Why did I pick Biden again? Even Bin Laden knew he was a bad choice.

Hmmm…Romney causes cancer…why didn't I think of that?

I guess I do look like a monkey

Which Koran verse shall I recite in this speech?

Hmmm, an executive order changing the name of Alabama to Al-Obama sounds like a winner.

"I hope they get the teleprompter working soon"

"what am i going to blast mitt for today"

Momma was right… She always said I wouldn't amount to much. I turned out to be a failure after all.

How long is this going to take??? I have to be on the links in 20 minutes!!

"Hmmmm… If I get re-elected, this is one hell of a mess I'm going to be inheriting…."

"Oh well, it was fun while it lasted…"

Let's see, what else can I screw up with four more years.

Let's see, who do I chose for my running mate, Joe, Hillary or maybe Michelle so she can finally get paid.

I would ask Bill to be my running mate but they would ask him for all the answers.

I REALLY WONDER WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IF SARAH WAS VP AND NOT JOE. MICHELLE WOULD NOT LIKE THE LATE NIGHT MEETINGS. BUT I WOULD HAVE.

But I really DON'T know whether to shit or salute!

Dreaming of the white girls making out in front of Chick-fil-A

I wonder how far I can get American to bend over before they realize they are being screwed

"Of course, I'm arrogant. I mean, why wouldn't I be?"

Damn…the Republicans actually want to have a serious conversation on the budget. Guess I'll have to put off that golf game…

Hmmmm. Back too Chicago or Kenya?

I think I see a stain on the carpet from the Clinton years

I should have lined up a job before my policies made them so hard to find.

I swear that damn flag is stalking me

Dang…If I could just put Joe in chains…

Ryan..what is going to happen to me after this?

Golf… vacation… now is the time…

How else can I screw over the american people today? I'm running out of country killing ideas…

What would George Bush do?

Wonder where I can get some coke? I can't go see Chavez again.

"How do I get the Cheeseburgers past Michelle again?"

"Wonder what Monica is doing about now?"

I know I should be doing something about now…?

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Star…"

I hope that wrap this economy thingy up soon… Tee time is at 3:00.

What if I put my picture in the field of blue and turn the stripes into a rainbow….Mooshell would like that…

I wonder how much of this furniture will fit in a U-Haul…

I wonder what My good buddy Rod Blagojevich is doing? I miss that little guy!!!

I need a new strategy this campaign, perhaps I should visit ALL 61 states this time!