Sir, what do you want me to do about Egypt, Syria, Iran, Gitmo, Pakistan & India before you move away in November?
"Sorry about that toilet, it proves to millions what I'm full of"
"Leave the motor running."
Barry, if you keep cutting my budget, you're going to have to take the bus.
I want my picture and emblem on this plane when I get back.
Mr. President if you keep backing these things into the building we'll never get out of here.
"The chopper is dis-armed and the apology leaflets are loaded sir."
"Where to this week sir? Martha's Vineyard? Hawaii again?"
You heard me General. Michelle wants it painted yellow, not green.
Mr. President, George Soros called and said it was fine if you took another vacation, but only if the taxpayers pay for it.
Obama marching towards his cell in Ft. Leavenworth.
Obama: I've always wanted to be a general; let's invade Poland.
General, keep her running. I have another vacation this afternoon.
General, get that offensive American flag off MY helicopter!
Oh yeah, it sure is nice to get to ride my helicopter out to lunch.
Watch where you step – the damn First Dog was out here when we landed. No, Bo, not Moochie.
Sir, we will have the Hammer and Sickle emblem painted on the copter by lunch per your instructions. Heil!
Why doesn't this bus say "The Republic of Kenya",again?
"Listen Barry, we don't need no stinkin Congressional approval…"
Shouldn't that say "United States of Africa-America?"
Caddy! Caddy! Where's my Caddy?!
I know you are not my normal caddy, but you are supposed to bring my clubs!
No! Michelle might have shredded those leather seats, but Bo would never do that.
"I tried flushing the toilet over Texas, but it wouldn't flush, make a note of that Colonel"
Now the ninth hole is really the toughest one here……
Sorry Barry for the helicopter, Michelle took Air force One to get her hair done in Kenya this morning.
"Just tell them I spit out the window and put out the Wyoming fires!"
General, as soon as we're out of public view I'm cutting your benefits.
"I think we can sneak-in about 10 more illegals on the next flight, sir!"
It is not because Americans are now racist, Mr. President. You got this job BECAUSE you are black… you're about to lose your job because you're worthless!
"Court martial or not; you apologize to one more 3rd-world dictator and I'll plant my shoe where the sun don't shine!"
"What's that weird thing you are wearing?"
"It's called a uniform you idiot!"
after the decade we just went through they legit hired a muslim president?!?!?!?!?
I'm sorry Mr. President, sir, but the copter is simply too heavy with both the first lady and your luggage—one will have to stay back when we take off again.
And which branch of the service were you in, sir?
"What is your major malfunction, Numbnuts?!"
"I didn't earn these stripes fighting for socialism, Jackass!"
Yes Sir, Mr President, I have the Secret Service, the CIA, the FBI,
and everybody looking for the flight path to that 57th state and when they bring it to me then we can go.
"Sir, the Islamic fundamentalists are overtaking us!"
"Have you tried 'bowing' to them?"
Lock Stepping to Socialism
"To you a flank is a piece of cow, guns are biceps and you've never served in the military; how are YOU my boss?"
"Because you would be racist if I wasn't your boss."
Go to Defcon 4! Romney's numbers are getting too high.
…and I want you to put a coat of wax on her. We're going to Baltimore for dinner later.
XYZ (EXAMINE YOUR ZIPPER)
"Did you do as i said and give the plans for this one to the Russians?"
Mr. President, I'll get Air Force 1 ready for the Bowing Across the World tour and we'll be ready to go as soon as you finish campaigning in all 57 states.
Straighten that spine, maggot! I'll march your ass around this chopper until you drop!
Yes sir, I will see to it that my men stop laughing at your wife when she rolls in the copter.
No sir, I don't mind if the first lady sticks her head out of the window after we take off.
Sir, I'm sorry there wasn't room to land at the Taco Bell. But I called ahead and had a flunky make a Taco Bueno run for you. And no, we are not telling your wife.
Listen up, soldier, Ramadas interest me much more than armadas, so enough of the military chit-chat.
You want the military contribute to your campaign?
"I see our green military plans are moving forward. You installed a wind turbine on the helicopter, huh?"
I need gas money "SIR"… DA You Guys Pay For This Stuff !!!!
Sir now tell me again you want me to remove United States Of America from Marine one and replace it with SOROS?
Sir it has been 4 years can you please stop calling Marine One your little Whirlybird
I don't know but I've been told,
Michelle Obama is mighty cold!
"Yes sir, this is Kansas and Yes sir, it is in the United States of America"
"Sorry, Michelle saw the Starbucks…"
I'm telling you sir, algae will not fly this thing!
" Sir, it's not powered the same way the Chevy Volt is powered, nor is it as cheaply backed by our government"
locked step march at its finest!!!
And HERE, Numbskull in Chief, is where I stepped in your dog's crap yesterday morning.
Ifigure the golf game should take 6 hours, it's 9am, so let's figure you come back for me around 7pm.
General, this is how our military should march. Also they should hold their right arms straight out at shoulder level too. I got the idea from one of my greatest inspirations.
I know that the government is all about anti-smoking. Can you at least permit and cover up smoking in the bathroom?
SO, General, how do you salute again? and I shouldn't grab my crotch at the national anthem?
The plan is, when Airforce One comes back with my wife, you commandeer it and bring it to me. I am the One, I should be able to use it when I want.
Here is the plan, when I totally screw up on my golf game, you distract everyone by landing this on another green and I can get a hole in one when no one is watching. They will believe it, because I don't ever lie.
Next time we fly over Arizona, I want you to "accidentally" deploy the missiles over Phoenix. Okay?
"Do you think one of those TSA gal's will pat me down?"
I'm pissed you don't have the required red star on your hat, General!
"…And make sure all the arrangements have been made for my birthday party. Kobe Beef, Maine Lobster. Oh, and a ten foot high cake with my likeness on it. A full bar, the works. You know how those Liberal Socialist Communists love to eat!"
C'mon man just admit Obamacare is a tax
"No, Mr. President, those helicopter blades are harmless. Go ahead, lift your head up!"
General: "I don't care who you are. You keep in step or you're giving me 50!"
"I'd say your about 140 out sir. Might want go with a seven iron."
I want to leave the same way Richard Nixon left, in disgrace.
If I get four more years, we won't be needing an Air Force.
I'm not your Commander-in-Chief, I'm your dictator.
Now the next time Moochelle wants french fries, you had better get them for her.
Mr. President, what will the alternative fuel be for these helicopters, batteries or solar panels?
Mr. President, what kind of a "joy ride" did you have in mind?
Keep this baby warmed up, I've got a 2pm tee time that I don't want to miss.
Look, the next time you get Romney in your sights, take him out!!
I want you to "buzz" all of the Romney outdoor events between now and the election.
Mr. President, do you think we should be using this helicopter for all your indiscretions?
I hear you can use bleach to get the stench out.
Mr. President, they resodded the field two days ago, per your request, they now understand you don't like getting dirt on your shoes.
Now that I've allowed gays in the military you guys haven't done that whole mile high club thing in my helicopter yet have you….
Now that I've allowed gays in the military, you guys aren't doing that whole mile high club thing in my helicopter are you?…
General, I need to know that you will have my back when I proclaim my dictatorship.
Mr. President, we can't be using the helicopter for Moochelle's french fries run.