The Constitution, Its burning my eyes!!

I can thumb my nose to the American Flag and the peasant citizens won't even know it.

Oh Allah, they are going to make me stand in front of that damn flag again.

STOP, there is something in my eye, I can't read the teleprompter.

Damn, I got bullshit in my eyes again!

As if choking on my own bullshit wasn't enough, now the flies won't go away.

I hope I can get this lens back into place before they see that I'm really a Terminator.

Come on, I know I have some crocodile tears in here somewhere!

Missing to the left, Obama thumbs his nose at the Constitution.

I don't wanna go home to Michelle…

"Must not gaze upon the flag. Will burst into flames."

"Where's my watch?! I can't find my watch!"

Barry pauses mid-speech to blow a snot rocket on the skeptic in the front row.

Obama clears his nose according to his foreign tradition, so he can snub it at anyone more competent than he is (most of the population).

Every time they put this damn flag behind me I wanna puke.

Barry gets used to the spitballs now launched at him daily.

Sure, I could use a handkerchief, but I feel the need to reach out to the Rednecks.

The basketball game is on and I have to worry about the economy??!!

"Well, time to hide the coke booger again."

I SHOOT A HOAGIE AND IT CLEARS MY BRAIN OF ALL GOOD REASONING.

OH!~~ BRAIN FREEZE. THAT'S REALLY GOOD SNORTING STUFF. NOW I EITHER HAVE MAKE OUT WITH M'S BIG BUTT OR SCREW SOME WHITE GUY OUT OF HIS LIFE'S SAVINGS. I JUST CAN'T GET OVER THESE TOUGH PROBLEMS.

Whoa! I don't mind spewing it out, but I sure don't want any of it coming back ON me…

Oh the pain! Garlic, Crosses, and U.S. Flags burn my eyes! I have no problems with mirrors though.

Oh hell. Michelle flew Airforce 2 to Paris for more perfume.

OK. Time to get Eric Holder to make up a plan to get rid of spitballs and pea shooters.

Vote for me or I'll poke my eye out! (Hillary said that would work.)

"I can't ever keep a straight face in front of this damn flag".

Another vampire having an adverse reaction to sunlight.

Argh!! Loyal Americans!! My eyes! My eyes! What a world, what a world that they can destroy my beautiful wickedness!!

I would answer why I believe America is great, but I've got something in my eye and will have to go now.

Barry attempts to thumb his nose at America, but can't even get that right.

Barry gets pepper-sprayed by another happy tax payer.

"Man…I accidentally took a direct look at Nancy Pelosi!"

This pretending to care is taking a toll on me.

sorry Hilary Clinton just walked by without makeup

Poking eye to make fake tears for fallen soldiers: heartless.

"Please stop throwing spit balls and sit down so i can see the teleprompter"

That's the last time I listen when Joe says "let's play Three Stooges"

I wish I could just tear up like Boehner without using my thumb

"Ugh… I think I accidentally stepped in my own legislation."

Obama keeps an eye on the problems of the United States

OW! Get that 15% U6 unemployment rate outta my sight!

Most folks thumb their noses at people. But, not the elite. They thumb their eye at the folks of lower status.

The sound of the National Anthem gives me migraines.

I WOULD RATHER GOUGE OUT MY OWN EYES THAN HAVE TO LOOK AT AN AMERICAN FLAG AGAIN.

That flag—-it just makes me feel so sick sometimes.

Hold on and let me clear my nostril.

Oh, I have told that lie before, and that dam flag its not going away.

That flag. It's burning my eyes again!

I always get a little tear when I hear the Muslim "Call to Prayer".

It chokes me up every time…the mere thought of no longer vacationing at taxpayer expense.

Oh hell, somebody stole my joint.

They told me if I fake crying I will look like I give a crap.

And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you.

"…if you look at the job numbers like this, they're not half bad!"

Even the birds don't like the way Barry is running the country!

Vladamir! Vladamir!!! Can you hear me?!!

"I lie so convincingly, I can make myself cry"

Excuse me while I jab myself in the eye over all the stupid things I have done to America for the last four years

What do you mean this is the only contact lens I get for the 4 years under Obama Care?

Little Barry Horner,
Sat in the Corner,
Destroying the American Pie.
He shoved in his thumb,
making America Glum,
so She shoved it back into HIS eye!

"You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother's eye".

Looser times three!

Another damn fly….

If I'm lying, I'm cryin'…..oh shit.

I will never learn how to salute!

Say it ain't so Joe!

After losing the elections and moving to Chicago Barry practices the new crips salute.

Ugh….the sight of Helen Thomas is not easy on the eyes.

Hang on… just wiping that last bit of decency and honor out of my eye.

Oh, dear Allah! Why are these people so stupid?

Enough with the spitballs…

One more spit ball and these kids are history.

Some of that bullshit comin' outta my mouth splashed into my eye…

Oh no, they killed Bin Laden! My hero…

It's all this "America means this" and "America means that" patriotic crap! Gives me a headache!

I'm changing the salute. Doesn't this look much more distinguished?

Never liked the flag to hell with the military, I'll show them. I'm invoking a new and better salute to the armed forces and the flag. The American people will buy it, because after all I am the president.

I get a stye in my eye when I lie… Hey, I just made a funny!

Possibly lending credibility to the reptilian theory.

Everytime they raise that damn flag I get a migraine.

Come on "crocodile tears", don't fail me now.

Boy, smoke from those "joints" didn't use to bother me.

Get the camera ready, I'm going to force this "I care" look for you.

Oh my gosh, with my record, why is it so hard to get re-elected?

What do you mean we are losing in those swing states?

This will be the signal to get me the hell out of here.

I'm crying because I a loser and I can't do anything about it.

You'd be crying too if you were losing the election.

I crying because I triple bogeyed that last hole.

Moochelle poked me in the eye because I forgot her french fries.

Maybe 'Thumb in eye' will be better than 'Foot in mouth'.

Man I hate it when I head for a nostril and get my eye socket. I better check with Henry Waxman and see how he does it.

Now… now… uh… this… this is how they blow their nose in Oklahoma…

I must practice my "agony of defeat" pose before November.

My teleprompter said to poke myself in the eye so I did.

This can't be a "brain freeze" because I don't have one.

See, I told you I didn't know how to salute the flag.

"a fly went up my nose lookin' for a shortcut to the BS storage I have between my ears"

Damn Moochelle, why did you spit that watermelon seed into my eye?

There's Obama, pretending he's the Terminator again.

Awww Hell, thats not my ass!