So, I take Hillary and you take Michelle for the evening? I'd rather make machine guns legal, besides, the Secret Service would never allow it.

So you had the chubby intern by the ears…just like this. And she put the cigar…

Mirror mirror on the wall…who is the worst President of them all?

Will the real first black American President please take one step forward.

Please go over it one more time, I still don't understand.

Are you sure you can get me a rent-controlled office next to yours in Harlem after I lose the election?

"Listen you knucklehead. GM takeover good – Bain Capital bad!"

To avoid the spillage you need to hold both ears…….

1 Ex-president + 1 president=1/2 president.

Bill, quit saying Romney had a sterling business career. I've got drones at my disposal, you know.

Bill, what's better a Lewinsky or a gay experience? I'm not familiar with a Lewinsky.

Obama: Are you sure a sex scandal will get me reelected Bill?
Clinton: Sure it will. It did wonders for me.

Bill, my darling, I want you right here in my arms.

Bill Dude… if you're gonna back stab me about extending the Bush tax cuts, at least give me a nice reach around first!

Admit it, Barry. Affirmative action just didn't work for you.

But….you're NOT king…

"If you'll just claim to be the worst President ever, I'll throw Joe under the bus and make Hillary my new VP."

"I don't care how much watermelon you can eat, Bill. You'll never be the first 'Black President'".

"If you focus right on the teleprompter, it's easier to lie to the people with a straight face."

I do not mean to diminish your history of being a big cigar guy, but I have to tell you, what Uncle Joe said about my big stick is even more amazing (and true)!

Really? You're white and it is STILL this big???

Here is how much I care about America…

Dude, my Interns demand a lot more.

No way Jose—–even Michelle doesn't look that bad.

"Listen Bill, Monica is no longer allowed in the White House because she doesn't go all the way down either."

"I don't care what they told you Bill, I'm the first black President."

"Bill, this is how you sneak up behind a little old lady and snatch her purse."

"Bill, why aren't you wearing your American flag lapel pin when they make me wear mine?"

"Hey Bill, did you notice the mirror behind me purposely looks like a halo?"

"Bill, I can't get my wife to go all the way down either."

See Barrack, community organizing isn't so bad after all, huh?

Bill, why the hell didn't you mention how many people hate mandated healthcare?

So Edwards was saying if I hold her head like this, Hillary won't put up a fight?

"Bill, it was Soros who mailed you that horse head for making me look bad in the press."

You just learn to live with it, Barack…Al still haunts my dreams.

Lead follow or get out of the way… Dumb Ass.

I swear to you, this is the smallest it has EVER been, and THAT was the day she was BORN!

I just can't believe they picked your dumb ass over Hillary.

"Mine's even bigger"

For the last time Bill, I'm not gonna run and get you a coffee!

"Yess, it's really this big, Bill"

We have about this much of a chance of any Democrats getting elected again!

What grounds me? Michelle's butt. Now that it shrunk, I'm lost. I have to grab for the dog.

"let me explain somthin'… it has to do with SIZE."

Hillary said you sent her to Afghanistan for the weekend. I wish I'd have thought of that during the Monica years.

We have to get rid of the amendments, one after another, like ducks in a row. I can't say that too loud. The animal rights activists will go nuts. They put a horse's head in my bed after I signed the horse slaughter for food bill. I woke up and said, "Hi honey."

"… no really, it truely "IS"…

"How do you think I cant get a hold of Monica Lewinsky?"

President? Oh, now I get it! I thought I was signing up for a lifetime of free vacations and make believe.

Bill, I need you stay off the bath salts right about now.

$5 Foot Long

Jerkel & Erkel

All that's missing is Jimmy Carter for the lineup of the 3 worst presidents of all-time…

"Which is it, tax & spend, or spend & tax, Bill?"

"We can't ask Carter, he doesn't know peanuts"

In this case two half wits don't make a whole wit

You must learn grasshopper – one lies does not fit all.

Bill we have been through this several times…they are stupid enough to vote for me again.

Here's the plan Bill, when I get re-elected we can both blame Bush.

I told you Bill it depends on what is is.

Barry I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinski.

Barry I think you are an idiot and in over your head.

Barry, I think Hillary said "Keep the Change"!

…so you keep your frickin' mouth shut about tax cuts or we seat you with Joe from now on…

Pretty please, Bill! Just teach me your laughter-to-tears-at-the-sight-of-a-camera trick you used leaving Ron Brown's funeral…

"And any putt longer than this is a gimme."

You are NOT going to run on it's Bush AND Bills fault… Wonder Boy

SO OBAMA, YOU'RE TELLING ME YOU WANT ME TO GO OUT AND PRETEND THAT I LIKE YOU, AND SUPPORT YOU FOR REELECTION, HA HA, THAT'S A GOOD ONE!!

"So it's true then…when it comes to that department all you black guys are pretty much the same!"

"OK, so you used the mirror on the wall behind us, and the line you cut was how long?"

"So you see, we can both blame a George Bush."

"After this far ANY cigar will begin to lose revelance."

"RELAVANCE"

"RELEVENCE"

"RELAVENCE"… I should be in his administration!"

"How do you think I can get a hold of Monica Lewinsky?"

…and if you count D.C., Puerta Rico, Guam, The Philippines, Samoa, the Virgin Islands and Kenya, that makes 57.

I really don't appreciate you calling me "An Amateur!"

Any putt longer than this is a gimme…

Hillary as V.P? No way, Bill! Biden makes me look like a genius!

So, let me see if I have this, you smoke the cigar first?

…so then I told the American people it was time for a change and they believed it!

Well Bill, I just took a page out of your play book and I looked into the Americans eyes and lied.

Barry, do you ever stop talking about yourself?

…sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I don't…

"Like I'm going to believe YOU? Who do you think I am?"

So then I said to Michelle, "Bill kept a dog under his desk"!

So Bill, what's it like to have sex with a woman?

Barry, it's not YOUR home, I filed a reverse mortgage on the White House when I was there. It's all the bank's now, but you bailed them out, so you own it again.

So, this is how I should hold your coffee pot?

So Bill, in the last 50 years we're the only two Presidents who didn't serve in the armed forces, guess we can't be called patriots just MISS FITS

About………. ya think Monica can do it?