Come on Babe. Let's kind the KFC.

Mr and Mrs Obama arrive safely at their pilgrimage to Mecca.

Michelle, it's a miracle the plane took off with that fat ass of yours

.Dear, how soon would you like another trip?

Enjoy Air Force One before we get voted out

Good news dear congress has just approved another billion dollars for you next vacation, when can you leave?

`So how was; Aspen, Hawaii, Martha’s Vineyard, South Africa, Botswana, Vail, Spain, Mount Desert Island, Martha’s Vineyard, Chicago, Panama City Beach, Mount Desert Island, New York City, Yellowstone National Park,The Grand Canyon, Marhta’s Vineyard, Hawaii…..

I have order a Starbucks to stay open just for you dear.

It's not the same America – there is much more need for hope and change.

Be Carefull, you have come to far to trip now…

Doo Nott move that hand until the wind stops, THANK YOU!

It's allright = they never seach this plane.

Michelle: What's that song they're playing?
Barack: I don't know but they play it all the time. Must be some white thing.

Sure glad we got all those frequent liar miles.

Sorry Dear this is as close as we could land to a Burger King.

HEADLINE: President Barack Obama and the Chiquita Banana Girl deplane from Air Force One.

Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI

B0s plane stopped at Westminster.

Now when we get to the crowds…..do your best to pretend that you care about them…..

Whats that cavernous howl that I hear from under your skirt?

Swiped from his Kenyan grandma's closet. She keeps his childhood toys in a box on the top shelf.

Passports? We don't need no stinking Passports!

Michelle sports a dress made out of the new United Socialist States of Amerika flag.

Where are the crowds? Send in the crowds….

Just back from vacation, President Obama styles in his new Hartmarx suit while Michelle dons the latest from Ghetto-Gap.

Amazing, Michelle, we actually took a trip together for once. Now we can use the money saved for ANOTHER vacation!

Did anybody see you steal the tablecloth?

THIS IS FUN. WHEN YOU BOUNCE DOWN THE STEPS IT IS LIKE WALKING ON THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. FEEL THE SPRING WHEN YOU SQUASH THEM DOWN. I LOVE IT.

Michelle, you could have stayed longer and comeback on another plane. The taxpayers would be happy to pay the extra $400,000.00

"After my speech we'll shop at the local thrift store"

…but, honey, Bed Bath & Beyond is not a clothing store.

I thought Linens N Things went out of business, Michelle.

They're takin' pictures again…try not to look like a frikken' Sasquatch goin' down these steps….

Joe! Do you really need to lie down on the steps EVERY time just to look up Michelle's dress?

The dress is bad enough, Michelle, but I was hoping you'd leave that friggin' belt in Hawaii.

We're sacrificing 3 days of vacation to lay some wreath down, and we don't even know who they were?

"…everyone put on your sun glasses, the Fashionista has arrived in another headache-gown"

at least it's not a sweatsuit and afro like last time she met the Queen, this time she's going dressed like a jambalaya, all mixed up

I just don't think your exterior lap bands are working, Michelle.

CON AIR

?Let's go ride on Mayor Bloomberg's helicopter at night, I hear it's glorious after curfew. He says he does it all the time"

You mean to tell me we're sacrificing a vacation day so you can lay a wreath on some unknown tomb? (rewrite)

"No problem honey, while I'm giving my speech the taxpayers will pay for your shopping spree at Target"

Snakes on a Plane

"It's O.K. Michelle, the C5 just landed with your clothes from Spain."

The Obamas walk backwards into Air Force One so it will look like they're exiting. It's called plausible deniability.

Do you think BOZO will miss his drapes?

Careful you don't step on the little people honey!

Let's make this quick, we're holding up the people in the drive thru line. I want a Le Royale with cheese.

Airplane Part 5: The Jiveman's Revenge

Michelle, they are going to love your dress at the Clownfest.

Who picked that druess for you, Stevie Wonder?

Lady Gaga thought her meat dress was the bomb…wait 'til they get a load of your healthy eating fruit salad dress!

Okay, lets pretend to care about the People now.

Let me guess – you're hoping to get featured on "People of Walmart"?

Yeah, well, "St. Vincent de Paul" SOUNDS like a high-end boutique, but…

"Honey, that fashion design class at Clown College is REALLY paying off!"

Barry dear, see to it that the Marine on the right is shot for looking under my table cloth.

Take it easy Barry, It is hard to walk stairs when you are carrying a SNUKE!

Welcome to NPR, here we have the rare Kenyan-Hawaiian lame duck mated with the equally rare vacationing pea-fowl in the peacock's plumage.

Watch your step dear, if you get hurt we'll have to send you to Hawaii again

It took hundreds of CIA agents months to find but this is a country you haven't vacationed in yet.

Hawaii was wonderful! Where should we go next?

Michelle: "The wind is blowing my dress and nobody is looking. Do something about that, Barry!"

"Good idea turning those curtains into a dress. Next time you'll remember to bring an extra change of clothes."

Now that we have flown in this plane once it's time to board that brand new one over there.

"I will not pull a Gerald Ford! I will not pull a Gerald Ford! I will not pull a Gerald Ford…"

"OK where here now which way is McDonald's"

Due to a scheduling error, Barry and Michelle find themselves on the same flight out of town.

The first couple descend Air Force One. Her hair is done by the wind, her dress designed by first graders. Her belt is part of a horse saddle. His suit was found in clearance at K-Mart during a blue light special.

Don't worry babe. If you had worn the matching Carmen Miranda headdress, we would have had to have the door opening enlarged to get us out of the plane.

You're just pretty as a picnic table today, sugar.

Looks like Bo isn't the only color blind member of the family.

All of the other Air Force fleet was "down" this particular day, forcing the His & Her Majesty to fly on a backup plane and to wear Thrift Store clothes.

Michelle, we better get the most out of this ride, for wez be back in Chitown come November.

Fashion-sense, food-sense, love for America, she fakes it all.

Talk about slapping lipstick on a pig!

Having watched 'Gone with the wind' on the plane, Michelle decided to use the table clothes to form into a dress.

"Michelle, if I push you down the steps, the tarmac-torn and dirty clothing would be an improvement"

obama thinking should i push her or not should i nah id look like a fool

honey do you have to wear your boob belt with every outfit?

"Honey, there's no hog-calling contest where we're going tonight…"

Dear, you left your seat belt on again

They watched TV on AF1 before landing, but it sure wasn't "The Flying Nun"!

Michelle in her "frock" donated by the Rainbow Coalition

This doesn't qualify as a fashion-faux-pas, this is an unqualified-fashion-train-wreck!

Bozo left his orange wig in Chicago…

"Yes I am sure the Polish people love us"

"Just think… in two more weeks we get to go on another free vacay! This job rocks."

Michelle, I think your boob holding belt is supposed to go under the sweater.

I will race you to the red carpet, honey.

How many clowns can you get on Air Force One? Only 2. His big head and her big ass take up all the room.

Can't believe that idiot Biden brought a BLT on to the plane. The entire plane well have to be de-porked.

The Obamas wonder what the poor folk are doing . . . other than dealing with the TSA.

I guess I should have warned you…our diplomatic immunity isn't recognized by the Fashion Police.

Michelle and Barry practice not looking bitter exiting AF1 For the final time.

Michelle and Barry exit AF1 on the 312th leg of their next to last vacation.

Don't worry, honey. I signed an Executive Order so we can still take all of the vacations we want even after my terms are up. I consider it a small repayment for all of the tough decisions I had to make as POTUS. Those tax increases I've been pushing will pay for it.

So here's what I have planned for this evening. After my smoke, we'll head to McDonalds. Then we'll take a beautiful flight in Airforce 1 to Kenya, as I need a copy of my Birth Certificate to get my Passport.

"Yeah baby… can you believe they flew us to New York so I can be on 'What Not to Wear'?"

Michelle: "Can you believe there was only 8 peanuts in my package?"
Barrack: "Superpac's working on that right now."

"Barrack, I can't believe you just farted on those newly reupholstered seats!"

Obama and the newly appointed Fashion Czar.

"Well honey, we made it safely across the street, lemme grab some grub then we'll go a few more blocks to Walmart!"

Oh, boy – now for the fried chicken and watermelon

Michelle, if you take a tumble down the stairs, I can take advantage of the sympathy vote!

Michele, Chinese takeout isn't blowing $100.000 on jetfuel to Beijing. They threatened to cut off our credit last week.

Michelle–you be shoppen at the rag shop again?

I hate it when the press corps try to look up my burka…

Barry, you should really get some new clothes. I can hook you up with my designer…

Honey, next time we play paintball, don't wear a dress.

When you said your new outfit was from the display window, you neglected to mention that it was the Goodwill display window.

Honey, just because the Salvation Army hangs them next to each other doesn't mean they actually go together!

Did you hear that Swahili sounding greeting off to the left, dear? Suuuuuueeeeeeeeeee. Must be a lawyer.

Again Michelle, don't confuse "The Anointed One" with Air Force One

Well honey, even if I lose we'll always be part of the Heil High Club

I always liked the name Air Force One, especially the "Force" part of it

No Michelle, I promise you my carbon footprint is larger than your derriere

Michelle, where do those stairs go? They go down.

Out of the thousands of dresses you own, you decided to wear that one

Dammit! No more vacations. Every time I leave DC the economy bounces back.

THEY GOT THE CLOTH FROM A HOT AIR BALLOON!

BARRY! I TOLD YOU ALREADY – MY BELT WON'T FIT ANY LOWER!!

YEAH, I GOT THE BELT IDEA FRAM SANTA – HE HAD A BELLY FULL OF JELLY TOO!

SORRY DEAR – THAT PANTS LEG ALWAYS STICKS AFTER I PUT MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH

"Honey, your idea to buy 1,000 shares of boob belt stock was a smart investment."

"Barack, like my new dress? It's recycled from a circus tent."

Babe, So check this out – the Secret Service guys I sent to Columbia, had these girls in the room…and when they submitted their Per Diem expense report, I signed it and they told me the story..is that funny or what?