You see Larry and Edna, we are taking your house and the Jeep too!
First I'd like to thank Mr. and Mrs. Jones for allowing me to give this fold up teleprompter a test drive.
I didn't want this but I was threatened with being a terrorist if I didn't let this idiot speak in my driveway
Everyone meet the Johnson's our new undercover SS Agents – Nevada plates 499-XGA living at …
Yes – the Johnsons are in violation of flying the American flag.
Have them beheaded!
Obama – "These 2 idiots are a prime example of what America is becoming- SUCKERS!"
..and as your President, we are here to severely punish these 2 Americans for invoking what used to be called Amendments!
Your House – Your Jeep – Your Flag – It now belongs to US!
"Bow down ye infidels when I speak!"
"..and this is proof that my stimulus package worked. The Johnson's still have that 70′s look!"
"You know Edna – had we been employed this never would have happened!!"
".. and if we had a few extra trillion we could help move these 2 Americans into the 21st century!"
"The government would help save your home from foreclosure if you were able to pay your taxes."
..and there will be a beer drinking contest shortly after today's sermon!"
"These fine Americans are growing watermelons this big!"
"..and the Koran teaches us to eat watermelons with rednecks!!"
"Our new policy is to only hire SS Agents that are related."
"As your leader, there will be NO MORE Secrets in the Secret Service."
"There will be plenty of watermelon for everyone after today's SS Induction Ceremony."
"…and even as I stand here now, Jeep stock is rapidly decreasing in value."
.. everyone please say hello to my real mom and dad. This will really fool them."
See I am a true American. Mom – Dad – please say a few words.
.. you see my real mom and dad are Secret Service members!
I have evolved and will no longer tolerate freedom-loving, conservative rednecks like these two.
…so if the votes of unemployed, racist hillbillies like Bob and Wilma here can be bought, I'm a shoo-in…
See, I can't stand white people like these two who just LOOK American.
Let me be clear, I am officially out of ideas and have idea what I'm doing.
Let me be clear, I am officially out of ideas and have no clue what I am doing.
I bet this guy behind has a joint we can smoke later.
I bet the guy behind me has a joint we can share later.
No really, I can sell this Jeep to a taxpayer for over $250,000
I love to call this an Ouccpy Auction, the bidder with the lest ambition and morals gets the House, the Jeep, and the Servants
This is the 2012 version of American Gothic, two old white folks and the help.
And so I told Seal Team Six, "Stand back! I'll take these two subversive old honkies all by myself!"
"if I had white parents, they would look just like Ken-eau and Shanekia right here"
"When I bailed out Chrysler, I wanted to give this couple a new Jeep to replace this 1998 model, but it's Bush's fault I couldn't do it because of the economy"
Obama displays the U.S. residential teleprompter at a taxpayer cost of $250,000 and 3 yards of black fabric.
"Now, just last week their neighbor had two cars and this couple had none…"
"Like this fine couple here. They have an SUV and are able to retire…proof that they are super wealthy, and they should be paying their fair share."
So, what do you think? You think this will scare the kids on Halloween?
"In my 'Share The Wealth of America Contest' this fine couple has won a Cash 4 Clunkers reject from downtown Miami, Florida"
Behind me…the old house and car of the selfish era. Underneath this black tent lies the house and car of the socialist future.
I picked him up hitchhiking out near the truck stop. Think he'll scare the crows away in the back 40?
What's with you rednecks? I don't get the patriotic, Christian morals, work ethic thingies!
Seriously, Betty, it's one thing letting him use the house as backdrop for $5K, but that's not nearly enough to be photographed with the pecker.
I've killed so many jobs here that I can't count.
..these 2 retired middle class Americans are now living the American Dream, and as your next President I will make sure this never happens again!"
" You people disgust me! You're everything we're trying to undo in America!"
Really, you'll have no need for that pesky home and auto insurance during my second term.
Now, does this black fabric make me look Presidential or what?
. . . and for voting in the 2008 election 687 times each, this Jeep goes to Rahm Emanuel's mom and dad.
Can someone please take this flag down. It may offend someone.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
Okay, ONE of us has to slip away and call the asylum to let 'em know they've got somebody missing.
Yeah, well, he's a pretty good pitch man, but he's no Billy Mays. Billy had some credibility.
"I was just walking down the street when these fine folks called me over to thank me for the great job I'm doing."
We are taking their house and giving it to 18 illegal families to move in to.
You are feeling thirsty, very, very thirsty. You want my kool-aid. Drink the kool-aid. The kool-aid is mind numbing, thirst for the kool-aid….
And, as a result of my stimulus package, this fine couple are only 5 years from being above water on this beautiful house and car .
A perfect example of what I hate most….a white married couple, man and woman, that drives an SUV and flies the American flag.
"You know honey, if it weren't for that sonofabitch, we'd be able to afford gas for our Jeep."
Just last night Bush and Romney stole these folk's Jeep Cherokee, plate 499-XGA. Call the FBI if you see it on the road…
I WANT TO CONGRADULATE THIS WHITE COUPLE. BECAUSE THEY WERE ABLE TO BUY THS USED JEEP. HE DIDN'T USE A CREDIT CARD NOR WAS HE A UNION MEMBER. THAT'S THE LAST TIME HE WILL BE ABLE TO DO THAT.
Yes, I will stoop to anything to get a vote…uh uh uh..I mean get America back on track.
Through the Democrat party, voter fraud, my DOJ, Obamacare, illegal aliens…you honkies should have minority status in 20 years or less.
They hung a flag, therefore, I am giving their home, car…everything for redistribution. The flag will be burned.
"…And Mr. and Mrs. nobody would like to thank me for my presence here and I…"
Man: Is he the paperboy?
Lady: No, I think he's the pizza delivery boy.
Man: What's he talking about?
Lady: I don't know. I don't speak ebonics.
An SUV seizes the opportunity to extract revenge
If I had had adoptive parents, they would look just like Mr. and Mrs. Stein.
Folks, It's just another day, another foreclosure and estate sale. Joe will be the auctioneer.
Luckily, an IRS lien slapped on Gene and Irma's assets should entice them to pay a fairer share.
"Dang it Charlie, I told you to call the pest control people last week. Do you have any idea how big of a mess he is going to make?"
…and so, Mr. and Mrs. Finklestein will take the proceeds from this garage sale and put it to the debt. We all need to do our part.
I'm at the home of the 1%. So you see, you can't hide from your fair share.
Martha, it's time for his campaign slogan. Get in the Jeep and go "FORWARD" so we can see some "HOPE" and bring on that "CHANGE".
…and today…..as a followup to cash-for-clunkers…..I would like to announce "cash for old people" as my latest innovation in addressing the issue in allocating scarce healthcare resources under Obamacare. Jack and Sally took the one-time payout of $357 and voluntarily agreed to terminate their personal CO2 generation at the environmentally friendly O.E.P.H.R.C (the obama energy producing human recycling center)
I know we desperately need the gas money, honey, but I'd rather walk than be photographed with the pecker.
Check this assholes pockets before he leaves
"Look, honey. No wonder he knows what to say. The teleprompter is hidden behind the black cloth."
Let me introduce to you the first occupants of our reeducation camps….. Mr. and Mrs. Conservative Republican"
On the surface, these aging boomers look healthy, but in 2 years, Ed will want a new heart valve and Dorothy will expect cancer treatments…selfish ol' geezers!
"…and in conclusion, say goodbye to the last free people in America"
"… Please welcome the last two conservatives to convert to Socialism. Mission Accomplished!"
"And then (I) raised my rife and dispatched Ben laden"
"It's a win-win deal people! If your car's engine craps-out while running on algae, you can always take advantage of our 'Cash for Clunkers' program!"
"I thought I would give you a hint about Government Motor's new line of energy efficient cars by singing this little song: 'Flintstones, meet the Flintstones, they're a modern stone age family…"
"Now if Jerry is still broke and doesn't pay his fair share of taxes next year, the IRS will have to take more than just his right arm!"
Honey… he just always reminds of that windup monkey that bangs the symbols together..
You did remember to take out your hearing aid… right honey? Honey??
Honey… he just always reminds of that windup monkey that bangs the cymbals together..
I'll be the grass is growing and the paint is drying… we're missng that you know..
I'd like to thank Maury & Ida for protecting my knees by providing the short blast shield for this appearance.
Honey… whats all this hoping forwards and evolving transparency and change laws constitution stuff he's saying?
I'll bet the grass is growing and the paint is drying… we're missng that you know..
If you can look at these two and think they don't deserve to have more than you, congratulations! You're a Democrat.
"Ladies and Gentlemen please give a warm welcome to my real parents Mr. and Mrs. Soetoro!"
…and with my NEW hope and change bill, we will limit each household to one car…uh…except UAW workers here in Michigan. These cars will run on algae as I continue to make fundamental changes with the EPA.
Now…if these two average American taxpayers will kindly bend over, I'll reveal how I will fix the budget in 2012!
Can you believe they HAD a dog this big??? Why when I was growing up they were half that size- Burp. err excuse me just had a big lunch.
I am now confiscating this property for illegal flying of the American flag. With a little "Hope and Change" I will have all flags changed to Kenyan flags.
Where is my damn teleprompter!?
Hey you idiots voted for me what do you expect?
"Thanks to my progressive policies, this family can afford this lovely Jeep that was built early in the Clinton Administration."
SUV plots revenge
These are not the white people you are looking for…
"Looks like the neighbor's dog left a present on the front lawn again Ralph."
Edith, who's this black man standing in our driveway acting like he's a President or something?
…now I would like for you to meet everyone who has been employed by my JOBS Act.
If only President Obama had know these were the only people going to the Democratic National Convention.
Martha, why is Joe Biden lying in front of this black cloth?
Eric Holder is not in contempt of Congress…he just released the jeep used in the "Fast and Furious" campaign.
Yea, I put the Lakers down as the number one seed, but, I still think the Charlotte Bobcats have a shot at it…
As I have said before, Obama care will ONLY cover the senior citizens standing behind me…
Betty he just lied…again!
Looks like Bill and Betty just backed in to Omama's "Cars for Clunkers" program.
and since the neighbors had two cars, we confiscated one and gave it to these people here, two more votes for me!
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