Some people actually think I'm doing a good job!

Those Americans are going to be so f*cked if I get a second term!

I can't wait to see the expressions on the faces of those lmaobama captioneers once they see this new tax form!

Ha, Ha, Soros said you would want your country back.

Just wait until they read THIS executive order I have in my hand.

I'll tell them my real birth place…when pigs fly!

And then I said…..give me another trillion..

And…you thought I'd be a good President!

You actually believed that Hope and Change stuff?

HA! Your nuts if you think I'm going to talk with this American flag behind me.

Watch me make this flag disappear!

The last laugh is on you

Sorry. sorry, I just can't help it – it's the flag.

Really? You found someone not totally dependent on government?

All I need is a match!

With great joy I declare that – FROM THIS DAY FORTH – THIS FLAG SHALL NOT BE SEEN OUTSIDE OF THE SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM.

And I created millions of job….hahaha, I can't say this with a straight face!

This soldier is asking if we can go home now.

I know – ME? the Flag!

These people must be pretty stupid to believe this shit that I'm telling them

NOV, 2012 Let this relic in this Victory Mosque be a reminder to all who would free, prosper or otherwise oppress!

The absurdity! Me trying to look heroic and Pattonesque!

Thinking, "Why am I the only one laughing at these awesome jokes?"

Ha! Ha!, this guy writes: "Dear Mr. President, I need a job!" So what? I'm going to need one next year!

Get this! This card says I should be respectful of the flag behind me!

Oh I get it! I refuse to pin it on so…, good one!

"I can't believe they think I give a crap about there 'Declaration of Independence'."

the republicans refused to raise taxes so no more bullets

Is't this thing supposed to be on a coffin?

give me 4 more years and you will all BE home h – home right here (BAhhaaha

In four more years there will be no America left to defend!

"Ha ha, get this. This letter from the IRS says I owe taxes! Ha! They're obviously confusing me with one of the little people."

Jokers Wild "This town deserves a better class of criminal… and I'm gonna give it to them."

Jokers Wild "I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you…stranger."

Joker goes wild "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules!"

The Dark Knight This city deserves a better class of criminal. And I’m gonna give it to them.

"You'll lose your head over this one, stop me if you've heard it before; a Jew, a Christian and a Capitalist travel to the middle east…."

"Ha ha! Yes, it's true. I DID pee on the flag"

HA ha ha ha ha …. I'm mad I tell you ….mad !

Just wait 'til they find out what I meant by "flexibility"!!

You thought I promised to do WHAT?……

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING, I'M A JOKE!

Constitutional? Seriously?

I see a match here – get it? Got one?

I Know – ME? right? protecting the USA? Makes me smile!

Another GM Chevy Volt stoppage, wonderful!

The Humane Society is overstocked?

Michelle joined the "Biggest Loser?"

"…Someone tell Michelle it's not "The Biggest Gainer", it's called "The Biggest Loser" for a reason!"

"shovel-ready jobs really aren't ready, get it?"

…the jobs I promised we're in my administration, not in the public sector

Whoever thinks I'm doing a great job, laugh with me, not at me.

practcing reading, in case the teleprompter fails

You did't spect me to bow?

OH, Oh – was I sopozed to wave my arm or some lame thing?

I only bow when it is deserved.

Does this smirk make me look taller?

Oh you pervs! ~ You Wanna see my "privates" salute again?…

Maybe I'll send Michelle here on vacation!

See, I call it my Michele Jackson Salute… it fits though – huh!

Not only am I the smartest man in the room, I am also the funniest!
God, how I love myself!!!

"And when I put my hand on Lincoln's Bible, the guy asked me if I would uphold the Constitution, and I said, 'Sure.' And he bought it!"

So this Secret Service guy walks into a bar…

Not only am I the smartest guy in the room, I am also the funniest.
God, how I love myself.

And the best part is, these Occupiers think I'm going to help them!

That was my Michael Jackson salute – wanna see it again?

"Someone hung the flag on that wall incorrectly, blame Bush for that,"

"Hahaaa silly Constitutionalists. I'm not going to take ALL of their money."

'"The Right of the People to Keep and Bear Arms Shall Not Be Infringed', now that's a good one, who made that up?"

Here's a good one. This card says, "Thank you for caring for the 99%." Can you believe that? They think I care.

A female President? Are you kidding? I imagine the Secret Service would like that!

I was hoping this white shirt and red tie would distract from this darn thing,,,

"No buddy eats dog with corn! Ha Ha Ha"

"how about that? Joe says I'm carrying a 'big stick'"

They REALLY think I'm competent!!

My supporters actually think that there is a difference between my policies and Bush's policies.

Call it a puppy buzzz -

Any resemblance between me and that Dark Horse Comics guy is purely coincidental!

I can't believe they bought that Hope and Change crap either!!!

"the Nobel Prize? Joe could've won that for one of his gaffe's if he'd been black, clean and articulate like me"

You found a JOB!!!

No Miss Johnson, we're taking away all your rights!

The Bill of Rights always gives me a good laugh!

Who said I am an American citizen? Now that's funny!

One more time with feeling

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union" Who ever came up with this is a comedic genius. The more I read the more I laugh.

Constitution? What's that? Bwuahahahahaha

Pledge allegiance to that—are you crazy?

Even I find humor in my Presiential role!

The Constitution apply to me?!?!?!?!
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

No, its not my flag!
Are you kidding?!

And these people think the economy is bad now!? They haven't seen anything yet! Wait till my second term starts.

"there's still one person who thinks I give a darn!"

MAN You can tell Betsy Ross didn't wear burka!

Note to self – wear the Prayer Mat!

- Betsy Ross didn't wear no Burka, this is outrageous!

I thought this was a Freedom Rally – good one!

I thought this was a Freedom Rally, Good One! Achmed

The card reads… 'when are you coming back to Washington? This is what is looks like today…' YEAH RIGHT! GONE FISHIN' BABY!

Here's one from the audience… 'get the…uh..f**k off my stage… ass..hole..' Well thats a joke right?!

Obama looks at the pictures of the Marines pissing on the suicide bombers that failed… 'Yep! thats an al queda burger! ha ha ha!'

Hey Joe actually only went triple bogie at hole four… the windmill with a blue ball…

"Ha,ha,ha! And they still think Satan is the Father of Lies!"

I happen to know that they LOVE me in Texas. They even named a city after me! I don't speak Austrian or Texan, I guess Dumass is Texan for Barack!

Well letter sender… they ain't NO Constitution while I the Prez!

The biggest elected Joke since Carter

Mr. Obama,
My husband has divorced me because all I do is watch you on CNN and MSNBC…

Way to go sister! Vote in November!

They actually think I am supporting gay marriage because I actually believe in it…

That should show the Pope who the real boss man of the world is After he hears I gave the GLBT my ok to get married, it'll be too much for his ticker!!

Yeah, right" Me lose my voter base! They actually do believe I'm a great president!

With Mr. Microphone and Lyrics, who the hell needs a teleprompter?

Yep, I saw the unemployment numbers for the month too. They actually believe them!

This flag — I'm gonna change it too. Michelle says it is so tacky!

That's a good one—-you actually thought I believed in this red, white and blue thing?

I know! I even have Michelle thinking my next idea is good!

So what the hell is a 'wigger'????

I have evolved.. I am not the Messiah now… I am GOD….
Thanks letter writer but that me HAH HAH HAH….

I have evolved.. I am not the Messiah now… I am GOD….
Thanks letter writer but thats me HAH HAH HAH….

And number 10…. drum roll please… If Obama pulled Joe out of his ass… he would become full black….

Hey!!! Right!!! ITS ME!!! What woman can resist ?

Alright! I might be able to get rid of the ten commandments after all…

I am a GOD… haha haha.. they think 'I'? can be defeated?

Ok who is it thats asked if my butthole has evolved too?

Lady, if you found a job, then I'm the President!

Hell no, I won't lose on the economy.
I've got the stupid AND the lazy on my side.

"Same-sex" marriage? Hell, sure, why not? Let's throw in "inter-species" marriage, too! Can we register dogs to vote, then?

Ha! Who put up that gimmick flag with only 50 stars, not 57?

I'm for gay marriage and day marriage, the 24 hour quickie.

"Me, care about this country? Get outta here!"

These fools haven't caught on to the fact that I'm looting the
US Treasury through my "Green Engergy" scam.

I didn't fart Joe did, no seriously it was Joe!

You people really thought I could solve this nation's problems?

I was just kidding about the 57 states… but seriously folks…

"And my wife mad the list of 'Most beautiful women in America'…"

Those ignorant voters thought I'd keep my promises. Boy, did I ever fool them!

Voice over loudspeaker: "Mr. President, nobody's laughing at your unemployment joke."

Here's a hee haw! Some idiot says Congress, Joe and I should be subject to Obamacare.

They finally figured out that I got into Columbia on a basketball scholarship.

Haha…they actually thought they would be able to keep their same health care plans.

"Oh, that's a good one! No, I guarantee you that Joe is not gay."

"Yes,This IS my Birth Certificate!"

Just wait until you see my newer new Healthcare law, it doesn't cover Viagra.

Ha, ha, ha! That's funny. Can we stick to the script and ask the question one of my aides gave you?

Ha, ha, ha! Of course I support same sex marriage. I married Michelle, didn't I?

"o'er the land of the free…" They actually still believe that crap?

" I believe in same-sex marriage, Joe and I are on the same ticket, aren't we?

"No, I don't believe in same sex marriage. Wait a minute, what do the polls say? OK, I believe in same sex marriage."

What?! Of course I support gay marriage! Whatever keeps the votes comin in!

"And this paper contains my position on all important matters. If you turn it upside down it will say the opposite. Man those guys are good!"

"Wait a minute, I did not say same sex. I said same socks. People with the same SOCKS should be allowed to marry. The republicans are just twisting my words."

"I won! I'm the last presidential comic standing!"

I love me more!

"I have no idea what I'm doing either!"

That fart smells good!

..and after my father served in WWI..

I'm sorry folks, I was just reading the Obamacare Plan.

… one Nation under Allah, …

In this weeks sermon, will everyone turn to page 3 of the Holy Koran.