I've spent my entire life trying to make jokes and with this clown it comes naturally.
Oh my God he really is worse than Bush.
If he thinks of taxing jokes it'll be straight to the moon with him.
Well He doesn't need a prompter to be an idiot!
Tell us again how you single handedly took out Bin Laden.
You see Jimmy, Slow Jam'n has also been a key strategy in killing this economy.
I jumped a shark this big!
I wonder what's on Leno?
(Jimmy) I wonder what;s on Leno? (Obama) Is anybody watching this?
(Fallon thinking) He really is as stupid as he looks.
I should take this occasion to announce that I am the 12th Imam.
I wasn't invited so We Fired the 'Knuckleheads.
The low polls? I blame myself, I make it look so easy! I really really do work!
And now that I have saved Jimmy's job…
and the real reason we need the bomb in Iran…
"…and after I killed Bin Laden I saved 100 jobs and, did I mention I killed Bin Laden?"
Obama: "There were these three colored guys and…"
Fallon thinking: Racist.
Do his hands get wider as the pile of bullshit gets larger?
Obama: A white guy, a black guy, and a Mexican walk into a bar and…
Fallon thinking: This guy is president?
I was just at Mohammed's tomb – I say believe in me my tomb is still empty…
The Fourth Stooge visits Jimmy and explains Constitutional Law
And the 2012 Ass Kissing award goes to JimmynKimmel!
And the 2012 Ass Kissing award goes to Jimmy Kimmel !!!
With your new X RAY I APP you can see I am this much bigger than Jimmy.
Fallon actually falls for Obama's fish story…along with all the other bullshit from his mouth.
It's true…when his lips are movin' .. he's lyin'
This is the last time I bring him on the show without teleprompters…we'll be here forever.
You see, guys like Jimmy here don't mind paying more taxes to support those of you who don't have jobs or desire.
Fallon thinking: "Hmmm, negroes with authority, what can go wrong?"
"You're a closet socialist, aren't you?"
So I'm thinking, maybe Bobby Petrino to take over the Secret Service – whaddaya think, Jimmy?
… and if I were 100% black, my penis would be THIS big!
How the hell did this guy ever win an election??
I'd like to slow-jam this economy up his ass!!
Jimmy's thinking that if Barry's hands were tied, Barry's tongue would be too…
Michelle's ass was this big when we first met.
And for Jimmy's 10 viewers out there I want you to know… Hell yes I'm a Marxist!
~Well there go my ratings~
(Jimmy Thinking) …How IS one born with such large ears?
Damn, man…. this dude really can tell some lies.
Hey, big O…. try not to look directly at the teleprompter.
Hmmm… may I should run for President, if this guy can win, why not me?
Jimmy tries to figure out how he will seduce Barry after the show…
Jimmy, ready to start sucking his finger in "response" to Obama's steamy speech…
CAPTURED MOMENT: Jimmy realizes he is gay.
Here's Jimmy working hard for his Brown-Noser of the Year award.
Hmm—this guy is a helluva comedian.
Damn, he spouts more BS in 5 minutes than I can in an hour.
I can't believe I actually voted for this clown!
Hmmmm..I think he's going after my job!
Real? or Memorex?
Now, now, don't tell me. his name, his name is right on the tip of my tongue. it's uh, uh. oh the heck with it!
Fallon thinking: Hmmm, I need a dumb sidekick. I think this guy will do.
Obama: It's been reported that my new campaign slogan is Forward! That's incorrect, it's Fore? Word!.
Fallon thinking; This guy gives me the creeps.
Yes, I know the country is in bad shape, but I am counting on your ignorance to vote for me again.
My next healthcare waiver is going to Jimmy and all of the other liberals in this country.
If I had a son I hope to hell he doesn't look like this
And that's why I've come up with a law to tax the funny. Of course, Jimmy Fallon won't be affected.
I should have had Zimmerman on.
MISSION: MAKE THIS GUY LOOK COOL…LIKELY OUTCOME: IMPOSSIBLE
Hey! Most people think I’m a Commy an idiot and destroying the country.
How many ways do have to show you I’m not stupid and BUSH DID IT!!!!!!
I wonder if I could get a job in the cabinet for letting him on my show.
boy. does he have an unusual amount of nose hair.
I was just telling Jimmy backstage…when I'm not playing golf, I could fill in for him…then he could go play golf when I'm hosting the show!
He's not going to win the second time around…wait a second, the only reason he finally accepted my show's invitation is to get a free audition for my job
I can do this job
Belligerence, arrogance and maybe I could say I was interracial and I'm proud of my white, Christian heritage. "Yeah, that's the ticket"
Ummmm I don't get it, how'd did a terrorist get pasted NBC security screening? Them security guards better not have been drinking at Scores again last night without me!
If I hit that lyin' bastard just right, I bet I could bring him down.
I'd like to do my rendition of "Call to prayer" set to the tune of "God bless America" It starts Ash-hadu al-la Ilaha ill Allah – Ash-hadu al-la Ilaha ill Allah. Then answer Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. C'mon ….Everybody now….!
Jimmy, you only need to pay 90% of your income to the Federal Govt. It's so we can help the children.
Who up there called me a lying socialist pig?! I am _NOT_ a pig!
You see, Jimmy understands where I am coming from because he is White like me.
Jimmy, I know you'll join me in wishing all our little brown brothers a happy Cinco de Quattro.
And as Joe and I were spit-balling a few ideas, if by chance we should lose, it came to me …. "Carson & McMahon" I talk and you laugh at everything I say.
First, I'd like to say it's "O'Bama" and I'm an Irish Catholic.
All kidding aside….. At least with me …you know what your getting.
I can't even began to tell you what I've done for America. Sincerely, I really can't…!
Two comedians. Not one straight man.
Does his head make my lips look big ?
If you thought Jimmy had good jokes you should see my record in office!
Jimmy, my health plan is just like your humor: incomprehensible!
Why, oh WHY did I ask him to sing?
"Look, I have as much chance of a second term as Jimmy's ancestors have of voting in the next election"
Tonight, I am announcing my plans to take over late night television too!
(Fallon thought bubble) Astounding! It is so… damn… lifelike!
In my native Kenya it is not uncommon for men to get this big
"Look, I have as much chance of getting reelected as Jimmy's ancestors have of voting in the next election. Hey! It could happen!"
Yes, Joe was right… I do have a big stick!
Hmmm, now that I'm finally making some money, this guy wants to take it all. Hey, this guy sucks!
"…actually her hips are twice this wide"
"She can inhale a sub sandwich this long in no time!"
You see, it's not about Hope or Change. It is about making my wallet this fat.
Jimmy . o O 0 (This guy really believes the bull we're spouting.)
My new economic slogan is it's Nixon's fault – I just found out he made friends with China.
Why did I vote for this idiot?
I can't believe I voted for this idiot.
..and I thought I was telling the Jokes!
OMG! His nose is growing!
Did he say 16 trillion?
So the fish that got away was that big – yeah right.
I wonder what will happen if i box those ears?
Network programming error.
Pssst! Hey, man. You got some drool hangin' off your lip right here.
"The economy can only be in more trouble if I win a second term."
Darn, he froze up. If he does that Michelle told me to give him a swift kick in the butt and that will jar him loose.
The TV technical term "Fade to Black" takes on a new meaning.
Wow, I didn't know we had 57 states!
Jimmy: I can see right through both his ears
His ears do whistle when the wind blows
"…therefore Jimmy, after completing my 12 step program, I will never eat dog again."
So all of you would rather have him as president? He couldn't do nearly as much damage as me!
"Is he really doing this without a teleprompter?I never hought it was possible…, oh wait we'v been here for hours!"
"Is he really doing this without a teleprompter?" Unbelievable! Oh wait we've been here for hours!"
Really? He doesn't know the difference between a laughing with and laughing at!
See – I like to hang out at the TSA scanners!
Fallon thinking: OMG, he really does like to hear his own self talk doesn't he. We'll be here for hours.
Who is this fukn idiot ???
this cant be good for ratings
God i'd like to kisd him!
God I'd like to kiss him!
Is it possible this guy actually believes what he says?