Lets see what else can I do to destroy America?

How am I going to get out of this one?

They've got to get rid of the hideous red, white, and blue pattern behind me.

Hm, I'm still trying to think of one good thing I've done as president before this debate starts.

Figures the Secret Service would get all the good hookers.

"I hate pretending that I care about Americans"

I ran out of money… Damn!

DICKtator

I need to get laid, I wonder if one of Bill's interns are available

I'm getting sick and tired of this job… I wanna go on another vacation!

How else can I abuse my power?

When asked about the US debt… US president looks down, the same direction the economy has been going since 2008

I hope my wife is having a good time in Spain at the tax payers cost

I'm sorry Allah

Now which hooker took my tie?

If the earpiece is telling me what to say why can't I just put the earpiece on the microphone?

Michelle makes me wear this damn earpiece, like I don't hear her screech enough!

My godfather pose should scare everyone into doing my bidding.

Brown pants, brown pants. Yikes, my white side is showing!

Wish I had my binky.

Do you think this pose looks too much like Lincoln's? My monument will be much grander of course.

I'm firing all those secret service agents-for not inviting me.

Tomato soup for lunch mmmm I love soup. Hand smells funny. Squirrel!!!! Mmmm soup. Tractors….turnips…buttocks.

I'm sorry Mr. President your time is up. The correct answer to "How many policies you implemeted promote Liberty?" is ZERO!

Playing in the ear piece are speeches of Hitler, Stalin, Hussien, and Bin Laden for motivation.

I really don't care what this person is saying, I just want to look thoughtful.

Exlax or Metamusil…Exlax or Metamusil…that is the question.

Mmmmm. I have a taste for some puppy.

Obama wondering how he can get more Colombians to become illegl voters.

…"Is that your FINAL answer on the number of the States of the USA for One Million Dollars?"

"A self-made man, living in public housing all his adult life on the taxpayer dole"

The emperor waiting on his teleprompter delivery and setup

God I wish I was out on the 9th hole.

I wonder if I can use a life line?

Why am I sitting on a racist white chair?

How can I find a way to blame the Secret Service scandal on Bush?

Well calling it the Buffett rule didn't work. Wonder why?

"In the dark … no light in sight."

We need Buffett's $1B delinquent taxes for my next year's vacations

'What the Fu–, is capitalism ?

I definately like my teleprompter better.

I think I can….. I think I can…… I think I can……

Dear allah, thank you for letting me be president now, let me try it one more time. In mohamed's name, amen

Now who's the uncle tom …..? Choke on that America !

I wonder if they realized yet, that I played Bud on the Cosby show?

Hmm—the girls are out of school soon, I wonder if we can fit Tahiti and Bora Bora in the week after they get out.

All the stereotypical colored actors out there and they said I looked most like "Stymie" ?????

If I look like I'm sorry for this mess, maybe they will think I am !

Run the country or go golfing. If people only knew how tough it is to make decisions as president.

Nearly 150 years since the Emancipation Proclamation…how much longer we can play the race card?

oops…"can we" instead of "we can" on 8:35 above

Does this make me look like Farakan?

He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

"I am in awe of myself!"

As I listen to these Seals getting close to 'Bin', I can only hope that they miss him.

I thought I could get it done in one term, but America is stronger than I thought. I have to get re-elected to bring it down.

Everything that happens in Cartagena, stays in Cartagena. Or, that's at least what they said about Las Vegas. Whoops.

UH…Its moments like these I wonder what a real president would do?

"PERFECT! ok Barry, you can relax. This photo will be used for our advertising campaign in the gay publication, 'Blue Balls Weekly'."

Voice: Ready Mr. President. Cue The Godfather theme. Annnnd….you're on!

I wonder what Rev Wright is going say this Sunday.

Hmmm I wonder where I can get a little white boy to molest, cuz michelle is such a skank.

Water to wine, water to wine. It worked once before. Get me Penn and Teller.

Same thing we do every day, Pinky…try to make over the world.

I'll call it the Constipation Proclamation.
After this Americans won't have sh*t.

How can I dump Isreal and get away with it?

This MP3 player only has Red Hot Chili Peppers playing over and over. Where is the Celo music I orderd?

How did Warren Buffet get Prostate Cancer?

Can laying a golden tax really give you prostate cancer?

How many Angels can dance on a pin head?

This is supposed to be an International conference, What are all these funny looking people doing here?

Whew! If Joe hadn't needed a sitter – I would have had to pay the $47.

Where's my puppet, "Walter" that Jeff Dunham loaned me?

If I had a penny for every dollar of taxes I've wasted, I'd be a Millionaire many times over.

Dah Vladimir. Dah. Dah. Nyet. 80%. Dah. Ok 100%

That microphone is ON… I just know it!!!

That microphone is WATCHING ME, I just know it!!!

"hey, there's no paper in here!"

This earphone is very troubling, why should I ever have to listen?

Its Cubs 12 to Zip, Hell the Reds could still win!

Now which show is this?

Is there more to ignore?

Divide and conquer…
going just as plannned!

"…It's not 'Hail To The Cheese', it's 'Hail To The Chief!', dammit!"

"I wonder if I can wrangle separate vacations this time"

Man, I could really go for some dog right now!

"Which lie should I feed them today?"

There really is no substitute for nice shiny teleprompter.

SO! Joe thinks Al knows the law better than I do? NOBODY ignores the law more than I do!

I can wait as long as it takes to get that teleprompter back up

I told those Secret Service guys I had first dibs. Oh well, wonder where I can get 35 bucks!

How will I pretend to give a crap today?

My self winding watch has stopped – good day so far!

Hey, hypocrite, why's it OK for YOUR daughters have silver spoons in their mouths?

self winding watch dead (check)
monitors tuned out (check)
family on overseas vacation (check)
Tee time at 1:00 (check)
Joe at the helm (check)
with a day like this nobody better F"*K with me!

Damn her! I have to stand up, she said. Bill was better, she said.

Come on! I have a thousand riding on you! Score, damn it!

Ha ha! They think I am listening to the Secret Service with this thing. If they only…. COME ON! SCORE!

Damn Secret Service. They have all the fun.

this must mean I am right handed

Hello? Hello? Maybe if I put my finger in my other ear.

OMG!! Nancy Pelosi?! Nancy Pelosi?! Why didn't I stop after the third tequila???

WHAT have I got myself into and who should I blame this all on?

This President thing is so much more difficult than community organizing.

The constitution? The constitution? Think, think, I read about it somewhere.

I wonder how I can bill Bush for those Columbian hookers…