Hey, kid over there; stick to the approved questions or else I give you detention!

Hey, you over there; you're blocking the teleprompter, so sit down!

Hey, take that flag down. We don't allow patriotism in this auditorium.

You in the back…in 15 years you'll be the only one with a job and your taxes will support everyone else you see here. Welcome to America.

Give that kid back there some koolaid .. he's tryin' to think for himself.

You, with the American flag shirt, get out!

Shut up over there, I don't care for your opposition!

"As mandated in obamacare, you will be required to buy broccoli as well as eat it. So, get over it."

This is called an indoctrination rally, not an assembly.

Good question, Mitch! By 2016 even a high school diploma won't help your job prospects, so it's really not too soon to quit school.

Actually, you kids WILL get to vote for me in 2016, since I'll be axing the Constitution's term limits right after my re-election.

Asleep and bored the kids withstand a three hour barrage of "change".

Good question! After my re-election, even a high school diploma won't help your job prospects, so it's really NOT too soon to quit school.

I don't care WHAT your parents are saying at home, I am NOT a socialist b*stard!

I don’t care WHAT your parents are saying at home, I am NOT an anti-American, socialist b@stard!

When you finally start to earn your money, remember it's not yours! The Governement needs it more, so we're helping ourselves to it right now.

Why the hell are there so many white kids here?

Good question! No, I wouldn't put that much emphasis in school. The more you succeed and more money you earn, the more money you will give to the Government.

Your forefathers sacrificed all to give you a country of unique and wonderful freedom. Well, I got something else in mind for you.

That's right! If Jacob intimidates Jamal at the polling station, Holder prosecutes Jacob. If Jamal intimidates Jacob, Eric and I go golfing.

"You'll have a much better future if you convert to Islam today".

"Security! There he is! Right there is the little bastard that said 'You Lie!'"

Hey look! There's someone who doesn't look bored!

Alright, Joe, that's enough. Put the kid down and leave the auditorium.

Yes you, and you over there will still be paying off the debt that I encrued in these last four years when you are 50.

Nobody leaves this room until I collect enough money for today's greens fees and Michelle's vacation next week.

Doctor, lawyer, astronaut, physicist, inventor. Oh, wait, this is 2012. Drop fries, janitor, unemployed, unemployed, unemployed.

"Do NOT expect Social Security, healthcare, or any government assistance whatsoever unless you are a minority or obviously not an American Citizen. Those rights are reserved for people who deserve them.

Anyone here who is a natural born American please leave by the exit on the right.

Hey Kid, yes, YOU! The one who's still awake…

"And when you are adults your parents will tell you tales of things called "cars" and "gasoline".

Kid thinking: "When is he ever going to SHUT UP!"

Now remember to go vote on November 6 and for each ballot you fill out for Barry and Joe we'll give you $1 in food stamps.

Facts are not allowed in here. Please take that book and leave.

Girl: Hey! You're not Justin Bieber! You lie!

"Today's guest speaker for your Civics and Economy classes is Barack Obama. Everyone will receive a passing grade."

Cheer up kids, he'll be gone before you know it.

"A question from the kid in back who doesn't look bored."

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even pay attention.

Wow my parents were right, they will let anyone become President.

Security, take the kid with the "Bush was Right" Sign out of the gymnasium.

Yeah, kid, if they voted for me I'm sure they'll vote for you.

Just think kid… now you're not the biggest loser in your school.

Either your parents vote for me in November or I'll find out and personally keep all of you in the 5th grade for the rest of your lives.

Let's see if you can still holler "Oust Obama!" when my SS meets you behind the gym later, kid.

That's right, young lady! Michelle would prefer to wear her burka outside, and someday you will, too.

SO once you're all converted to Islam, you girls won't need to attend these events anymore.

"How would all of you like an all expense paid, spring break vacation to Mexico with Malia?"

"If you have any problems with your grades just say you're gay and the media will take care of the rest."

No really,you gotta believe me…there'll be free stuff left for you too.

Yes, that's true. You parents may vote for me as many times as they wish, and, if anyone else says otherwise just call them a racist.

Don't make the mistake I did. Stay away from drugs, you might understand the economy.

You talkin' to me?

$5,000,000 donation….SOLD! The position of health care czar goes to the kid in the brown shirt.

Hypnobama has a hard time with little Johnny in the third row.

China stopped lending us money so before you leave don't forget to toss your change in the bucket over there.

All you black kids, move up to the front. All you white kids… hit the road.

Yes, you, the little white opressor in the back, what's your question?

Mr. President, why do you have a barrier up between us?

Yes, it's true. The Government WILL pay for your abortion!

You there, please refrain from calling me "Bro"

Boy, my parents were right, this guy really is a clown–and got the ears to prove it.

OK—-everyone that likes free stuff, raise your hands!

And by the time you are 18, you wont have to worry about registering for the army because other countries will be coming to our aid.

You in the back, how much do you have in your pockets? I'm taxing it!

Anyone here know their parents voted for me, I see ONE!

Kids suffer A.D.D while B.O. spreads B.S. at P.M.S.

I'll bet you kids didn't know you were going to see a zebra today!

If you think this barrier is going to keep me from taking your money think again….

If any of your teachers start talking about low taxes, personal responsibility, or strong defense I want to know about it.

who told you about those illegal drivers licences?

This guy is the president? Seriously?

Now, pass all your cash to the right…it will be collected and given to me later, thank you.

Come on kids, doesn't Obama School Of Middle Class sound better than Parkville Middle School?

Make sure Michele checks those lunchses before there given out.

Ok boys and girls repeat after me… Obama is the way, the truth, and the light…Again…

When some of you go home, you many notice some of your parents are gone. It's ok, the government will take care of you.

And I wanna give a big shout out to the teacher's Union in the back.

Make sure Michele checks those lunchses before they're given out.

"YOU, in the back….I didn't hear you say 'Hail Obama'!! Now let's try it again!!"

"YOU,on the left. Will you please stand up and recite the 'Pledge to Obama' for all the kids on your right."

You Won't Feel a Thing This Time

If I had a Son,he would look like you and you and you and you ………

Obama: "I play golf…and I use a 9 iron when…my handicap is…and on the first tee I…8th hole…3 putted…

Kids: zzzzzzzzz

Hey, kid, cough up that C-note because I can smell them a mile away.

Hey kids do you know who "WAS" THE 44th President of the 57 states I mean United States?

Girl in front row with arms crossed: "Damn this is worse than detention for a month. Give me detention…give me detention."

"Each and everyone of you deserves straight A's, regardless of how hard you work!"

"Hey, my Vice President has about the same IQ as you."

You got a smoke?

Don't worry kid, when you get to college the government will pay for it !

Barack Obama-the human Ambien.

Who told you about the teleprompter?

And by the time my education plan kicks in, one of you back there, will be the only one who graduates!

… and so we deduct Susie Wong's grade back there, and spread the points out to all of you. That is Occupy's message.

Excuse me young man, I don't need to explain what I'm doing in the White House. I'm still trying to figure out how I got there.

Kids, if you look behind you you'll see the redistribution bucket. If your parents work put your money in. If your parents are unemployed (or you are a minority), help yourself!

And all of you on this side who made D's and F's we are going to give you some of the grades from the hard working A and B student, and that will bring your grade average up.

"Okay, don't bow to me. You not gonna get any of the Free Shxt."

"And who are you to question my integrity and competence?"

Kid, this is how government works. Say you have $100 and I need to borrow $200. So, you loan me that $100 and then you still owe me $100. I now owe you $100, you still owe me $100, so now that makes us even.

You in the back there with the hoodie on, are you my son?

Show me YOUR birth certificate, and I'll show you mine someday.

I can too write, your parents will just have to wait until I'm done coloring the book.

"I am wiping out the child labor laws so you can all start working next year, of course every thing you want is free." "ISN'T THAT GREAT!!!"

Kids we need to keep funding the government so you are all going to have to start working now instead of when you reach 18. Any questions?

First, I'd like to thank all you at "Parkville Middle Ool" for inviting me…

Everyone here owes more to the National debt than I do because I caused it!

Hey you, kid in the back row…you think maybe a trip to the waterboard would help you stay awake?

"Yes! I always face East when I pray for the downfall of America"

"Did you need a birth certificate?"

How many of you here play golf or basketball?

So… you really think you'll be able to retire one day?

You there, are also now under my hypnotic spell.

If you or your parents want jobs go to China. We're all out here.

You kids in the back get back to work assembling those iPads…Air Force One costs $100,000 hour to operate and that money just doesn't grow on trees you know.

You too don't have to work hard to have the most important job in the world. Just lie about your birth place, race, and religion like me!

Whats that? Your parents make an annual $150,000? Oh okay 40% of your lunch money is going to go to little billy up here then.

I'm going to give you guys a tip. Don't work so hard, by the time I'm done being president it wont matter, all the high paying jobs will be low income. That is if there are any left.

Let me be purrfutly clear… My Secret Service Agents can whip your daddy's ass!

You! Over there! Put my pictures back on my teleprompter…

"You voted for me lol"