"Here are the maps showing how we plan to get illegals to the polling booths."

"Here's the receipt to give to Bill Maher."

"Here's your updated resume sir."

"Yes sir it's called paper. It's what people used before computers and teleprompters."

"It's a copy of the Constitution sir. Please don't look so bored, there's a camera right over there."

And all of these illegal aliens will vote for me?

"It's Eric Holder's plan for the election. He calls it, " 2 Fast 2 Furious".

"I am bored! I am bored, I am sooooo bored!! Can't we do something else like say, go on another vacation!! Find another way to let illegals in? Oh I know, why don't we find a new way to kill off a few more jobs and then tax that too"

"Here's the IRS list of Tea Party donors."

Here's the TSA full body scan of Pelosi you wanted.

Mr. President… are you sure your enemies list is complete?

A thank you note from Ahmadinejad

I can't guarantee that any of these listings in Skokie will still be open in January, but we can always find you an apartment in Cabrini Green.

"If you don't win, Maher will book you as a repeat guest, ABC will offer you a chair on The View, and Ahmadinejad wants you as a consultant."

"This one is your Apology and Denial list and the other is your Anti-Christian/Anti-Capitalist list."

Why are all the graph lines plunging? DAMN! I thought I was doing a great job…

"And this is a map of Palestine, formerly known as Israel".

This is where the trillions you have looted from the Treasury are buried.

"Unemployment. Budget. Middle East. Nuclear Iran. Deficit. Um, show me something I'm interested in."

This is a list of next week's apologies.

Letterman's guest list until the election, you're scheduled ten times and we have plenty of teleprompters ordered.

This is the list of jobs we've tabulated you killed last quarter or pushed offshore.

"We could have at least 15 Million undocumented democrat voters more if we can get this voter ID crap overturned."

"Of course, it is blank! It's your border security plan."

2 maps – 4 hands – Still can't find their own butts.

See here, erase this line and we become Mexico.

Barry, you did a reeel nice job coloring this. You did go outside the lines a little, but you should be proud of the way you used your two favorite colors, green and red, to color in a daisy.

It's a birth certificate. You don't recognize it because you don't have one.

Golly Mr. President, this birth certificate really is a fraud…..rip rip what's a silly ole piece of paper anyway?

No sir, we have not yet apologized to these countries.

And this is your home town in Kenya.

No sir, teleprompters never came in paper.

Our country is not on this map.

Yes, we have apologized to these Arabian countries.

The green is not the grass, sir.

These are the plans for the new Death Star.

This is the new FDNY admissions test. Just put an X on it and you're in.

A is for abortion. B is for Barack. C is for Communist…

WTF! We're meeting to talk about homeland security and you show me your tournament bracket?

And this is a photo of Michelle going through the body scanner. Doesn't look like the carrots are working.

This is your birth certificate from Kenya.
"Maybe we should shred it"

This is the map that Holder & I have drawn up for your approval for another assault weapon buy and drop off to our cartel buddies down South.

We actually charged your own Visa card for the debt you ran up over the past 3 years. This is how much you owe…..

Now unlike the former list of the muslim countries… this list of the resorts that refuse to book you for any reservations lets lone three weeks… these are American resorts sir… Uh now we will have a resort tax in America Janet.

You and Holder signed the go ahead for Fast and Furious sir see?
Uh… no.. I don't remember that… uh
Thats that night I found you both in Michelle's garden… singing and dancing…

So… what do want me to do about it Janet? Mexicans really?

Try again. If I hand you one piece of paper and then give you another how many will you have?

I don't know what his is Janet… neither does Holder.. I have the movie though and Holder isn't in it…

See Mr. President, here's where all those pesky aliens keep coming across the border.

See Mr. President, I CAN color within the borders.

Imagine if these Republican solutions got into the right hands, you'd be screwed.

Why do I have to look at maps..I don't know how to read a map.

"And this is the blueprint for all the internment camps."

"And these are the countries we don't have extradition treaties with. You have a one way ticket to all of them."

As you requested, we enlarged the Throne Room.

The name on this paper is going to be the Republican nominee. We are still rigging the outcome of the primaries as we speak.

"Sir, tic-tac-toe is not really that hard to learn"

This is the latest drawing. It shows the pool being positioned just outside the basketball court in a way that it should get the most sun, so you can play & then just in right on the spot if you want to

This is your updated vacation schedule as requested Mr. President.

"New instructions from Mr. Soros sir."

"We have trails mapped out from the border to polling places with stop overs for WIC, Section 8, and various Emergency Rooms….and a detour around Arizona of course.

This bores me Janet. I wanna do something fun.

"Here's the road map to nowhere."

and here is the new constitution noting you as supreme ruler and emperor

"…Utah and West Virginia, thats only 50 States, Mr. President"

…and the Mosque will be right there, next to the East room.

"Here's the latest news as we want the public to 'know' from Homeland Security and the TSA"

Is this the latest formula to manipulate the latest unemployment numbers?

Yes sir, with these maps we can find Joe Arpaio and take him out before he finishes his investigation.

If we bulldoze the Capitol we'll have just enough room on The Mall for a life sized monument of your big head.

how does this fake birth certificate look?

"That's very good Barry, you connected all the dots. That's a great SpongeBob."

We found this piece of land for you to buy so now if you approve the Keystone Pipeline it'll make you rich.

As you can see we keep trying to print Nancy's face but it keeps breaking the machine.

Look Berry it's an invitation from Not American Muslim, they want you to guest star for there next episode.

What? Damn Bush.

"There has to be more vacation spots left than that to send her to!"

This is my replacement for my teleprompter?

So, "Barry," any thoughts about where we should bury the body?

Thats not Woldo, thats Al Franken, keep looking

Hmmm could you read it to me?

Okay, Mr. President, the public is starting to get upset with your lies. Now, they have sent a note that says "Obama, drop the teleprompter, step AWAY from the White House"!! I think your days are numbered!

Mr. President, when you said "Boop-boop-be-doop" at the end of that last speech…..somebody was just messing with the teleprompter. This is a picture of your face afterwards!

Well, actually this note is stating that your teleprompter is out for repairs, and you're actually going to have to wing it on your next speech!

"All this is fine and dandy Janet but can you tell me why you're wearing a man's watch?"

"No Mr. President, Mexico is not a state. Not yet anyway."

"starting tomorrow, you have to pay for your vacation from your own money"

taking a break from his vacation

"uh… Mr. President? My eyes are up here!"

We've arranged to have you ride up the Potomic just like George Washington did, but only you are going to have the illegals rowing for you.

So that's what Hillary looks like naked? Yikes!

Sir, here is your Final Four bracket. Let's just forget about all the other silly stuff happening.

Obama thinking: "Who is this boring ass lady?"

"Sorry, Janet, I can't concentrate. Your mustache is distracting me."

Here is a map of the Texas border, yes it is a big state, and here are the suggested polling booths outlined along the Rio Grande. They will be protected by the local cartels.

It's my prom photo. We'll post copies along the border. Mexican males will surely turn around and stay where they are.

"And so Mr. President, by January's 2013 California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas will be part of Mexico"

Correct amount of US Debt "That's alot of zero's Mr. President."

"So Janet, your sure all these illegal immigrants in Arizona will vote for me? "

"Yes sir, I got the California list right here and we're working on Texas and New Mexico"

Mr. President, I'm gunna show you some ink blots, and I want you to tell me what you see?

Mr. President we found your original birth certificate, but why do Nigerian birth certificates print out so big?

Janet I'm not sure you follow me, this is the original constitution… Where is my version I told you print out?

Mr. President here's the bill to fix your SUV but don't worry we'll just increase taxes so you can pay it off!

And this is a map of the 57th State.

…and here is Alaska. As you can see it's right next to Hawaii…

Napolitano: "Why so serious, joker?"

Man Manly

WOW! His ratings are higher than mine. Do you think that this Rick guy killing zombies n Georgia could beat me in the election?????

Mr. President, Someone leaked a photo of your vagina to the media. I have your copy of the photo here. My copy is on my bedside table next to my trojan twist.

Now, as you can see from this diagram a threat monitor status of Severe or High are clearly racist. We suggest you merge them into a new status, "Homey don't play that."

'..SEE..right here.. retrofit the maternity wards – BOOM! fresh voters ! Mexico is on board, too!