Now look, here's the best part. By the time November arrives this will be how far you can go on one gallon of gas.

Insisting that he does in fact have clothes, the Emperor produces his sales receipt.

This is how democrats read..

An example of how Obamacare Lasik surgery works.

Driving the country right over the cliff.

"I'll read an excerpt of Barry's Bill of Rights:

> You have the right to pay more taxes.
> You have the right to higher fuel costs.
> You have the right to eternal debt.

There are others but this next one is my favorite.
> If you don't like your rights, you have the right to remain silent.

"…and gas will be super cheap once you start driving my invisible car."

"And this is how the constitution will look like once I'm finished with it".

"now you see it, now you dont. Just like freedom in the USA"

It's a four letter word and it starts with a D and people say I look like one and it's about this long…

Obama holding his birth certificate

This is exactly what Obama meant by more transparency in government – YOU SEE NOTHING!

The NEW Constitution: written on Magic Paper with Invisible Ink

"Show me where it says anything about Freedom or Rights on this piece of paper!"

"Funny, I can see it clearly! It says: Obama Rules, Hail Obama!"

The latest technology: Invisaprompter, source of all prepared softball questions.

These are all the promises I kept during my term as dictator.

This new invisible teleprompter really works great.

"And then I looked at my birth certificate like this and son-of-a-gun, it said Birthplace: Kenya."

This imaginary computer is where I get all my imaginary facts!

Looks like one of those illegals I pardoned stole my damn newspaper!

Barry shows off his US birth certificate.

"The economy is bad? Be happy! Dance a jig with me!"

The paper I'm holding in my hand is a list of all my economic achievements.

Driving Miss Michelle 2013

Before my teleprompter I had to read my scripted answers like this

0bama reads "his" free lifetime healthcare plan, while imagining what taxpayers paid for their own worthless "0bamacare" through a lifetime of taxes.

President Obama demonstrating how he's driving this country right off a cliff

"High gas prices? Don't worry, I've invented invisible gas for your invisible car."

And after Apple finishes the app for this invisible teleprompter you can all enjoy one.

And I hold here your tax refunds

So I held the Constitution out here like this, then I dropped it into the toilet, and then I flushed it!

President Toonces illustrates "driving America over a cliff."

These are all the jobs I saved or created.

Let face it, I'm just a piece of crap with nothin.

Barry rereads his copy of the US Constitution

"And this is my latest jive move. Watch as I dance the country away".

The Transparent President.

By the time I'm done the Constitution will be this transparent.

I know it so well that I can use an invisible Koran.

Bill told me to hold the interns ears like this…

This is what a ballot in Cook County looks like.

The plan that I just pulled out of my pocket here is guaranteed to save America! But as you can see, it will only work if I am re-elected.

After two kids, yeah, Michelle's is about this big now.

"Huh, I could swear I had that birth certificate right here just a minute ago."

Before the teleprompter, I actually had to hold a piece of paper, just like this.

"If Hitler can dance a jig so can I."

So then my uncle rolls through a stop sign and would'nt you know it, amost hits an unmarked police car … What are the odds ?

Freedom of Religion? nope, not on the list

"I need my imaginary reading glasses to read this imaginary 'Bill of Rights'."

I was driving, NOT the shooter!

I've always hated this transparency thing.

"So then I said, 'OK, Michelle… then please tell me what your personal trainer's jockstrap is doing behind the headboard?' "

Is this Michele or Cheeta

And this is what the Constitution should be…. a blank piece of paper.

Transparency…

And now, let me demonstrate how we read the bills that we shove down your throats.

The President reads his plan to improve the economy.

"…so I'm looking at the blank check American taxpayers have written for me I wonder, is 15 TRILLION really enough????"

"This is about how far I have to look down to tweak Michelle's nips…"

See, the Constitution doesn't exist anymore.

This is the old Constitution…..Read it and weep..Mwah ha ha.

"The answer to rising gas prices? Drive fuel efficient cars, like this one."

If I move to the right a bit they'll never be able to tell the difference between Romney and me.

This is the pardon I have prepared for Geithner after I throw him to the wolves come September. I really like that plane!

"Hold on. My portable teleprompter just went out."

See right here on my domestic energy plan.

Says here, this is how many jobs I helped create.

This is an actual copy of my real birth certificate.

"imagining the newly revised constitution"

You need to pass this bill to see what's in it.

The first item on my deficit reduction plan is…

The changes promised in 2008.

Let me read to you some of the unseen changes, if you look close you may see them, too.

My invisible itinerary says it's time for another vacation.

If re-elected, you haven't seen anything yet.

I'm pretty stoned right now…but I'm 60% sure that there is a piece of paper in my hands.

…And THIS is how your paychekcs will look by the time I'M done with them!

Reading my birth certificate

I see Al Gore has replaced Steve Jobs in creating the IPAD4

"I drove the Volt like this…till that damn fire!"

Here's my plan to deal with Iran.

The official list of all the jobs I created.

Obama reviews a comprehensive list of his past successes in office.

Just another example of my transparent administration … my birth certificate!

Hmmmmm, lets see……does Michelle have a canasta ass?

I pulled Hillary's head back like this and said, "Really? You want the job, you gotta do better than that!

A gift from Apple to get ready for your presidential debates
invisible iPad teleprompter

Back when I was pimpin' full-time, we used to drive around and look for hos in the wee hours of the mornin', and wouldn't you know it? I met this one named Michelle…

The leader examines his new empty suit

Compleated Campaign Promises.

Maybe they will think I am reading from my own notes instead of that idiot's speech on my teleprompter.

Honestly, it doesn't matter that he's not holding any papers, you couldn't believe him anyway.

If you think about it, it makes sense, after all there's nothing between his ears.

OK, OK, here's my real long-form birth certificate. Can we drop this subject now?

SEE, I DON'T NEED A TELEPROMPTER.

Whoops, a contact popped out. Where's the teleprompter?

I will now read from my list of Achievements as Commander In Chief

"I can still recite my Derek Bell speech."

The head Czar reads his unemployment resume

Ta Da!..here is my newly written version of the totally
transparent Obama Constitution!!

Barry reads his "work" resume

See the constitution says i can do what in want

And..And I just looked at my birth record from that small village in Kenya.. realizing of all places I am here now… (uh…did I just screw myself?)

For now on I will be using an iPad, no more teleprompters people!

And this is the State of Palestine that I promised you all.