Lessee here. Ctrl-X. Yep, there goes another 10,000,000 Americans below the poverty level. I think I'm getting the hang of this President stuff.

What? This Kira Davis has no idea what she's talking about!

The Apologizer-in-Chief emails a mass apology to all the world leaders.

What the heck is a "space bar?" What kinds of drinks does it serve?

What do you get when you cross artificial intelligence with a teleprompter? The 44th President of the United States.

hmmm, what happend to the Catholics for Obama website?

Next time, America, elect a President from India. He'll at least be able to provide his own technical support.

"This thing has a place to plug in anything but a teleprompter. Wazzup with that?"

"Dear Rev. Wright: I am nominating you to be the new 'Poet Laureate' of the United States."

How DO they get Windows in a laptop, and why?

If I hit "delete" it deletes a million jobs, YEAH!

"I can rewrite the Constitution from the First Computer"

"Ordering the next five years' vacations over the internet at taxpayers expense"

(setting up Michelle"s exercise routine)

This "Find-an-Illegal-Alien-Voter" app. should give me about 5 million extra votes.

My Dear Friend Mr. Putin…

You got the camera ready? I want to look like I'm doing something important.

God I love Angry Birds!

How come I'm getting no "Like It's" on Facebook?

Dear CareerBuilder………I know the economy is bad (oh how I know) but what can an ex executive with a horrible record expect to make?

These polls look bad. Time get my media friends off thier ass and help me!

No way Romney is better looking than me!

Eliminating jobs, one keystroke at a time

Where is the teleprompter app for this???

Can I set a font big enough to use this for a teleprompter?

I could have used this instead of having to take the Oath twice at Inauguration Day

What country can I send Hillary to now?

You mean all I have to do is go to Photoshop and I can get a US Birth Certificate!!! Yay!

Ten months to go – There has to be at least ten vacation destinations she hasn't been to yet

Split Window let's me Skype and use teleprompter.

Browsing the mainstream media always makes me feel better.

"So much porn on the net. Look, there's another one, and another, and…."

These satellite photos show that michelle's but can really be seen from space.

These satellite photos show that Michelle’s butt can really be seen from space.

"This website called lmaobama is hilarious."

The internet makes it sooooo much easier to transfer money to the SEIU.

I wonder if I can use my hypnotic powers over the internet.

"Dear (name to be filled in) I am sorry for (reason to be filled in)…."

So at my next press conference, I'll let MSNBC ask me my questions about illegal immigration. CNN can ask me about how much progress we've made.

I wonder if there's any other part of romney care that I should copy?

Second Amendment…delete. 10th Amendment…delete.

My memoirs. Page 1. "I was born a poor black child".

"..and now to launch 'Malware 1′ .

"Here it is, 'How to be President for Dummys'.

"And now to dump my General Motors stock."

Your love match is Hugo Chavez.

To confirm your transfer of another Trillion dollars to China, press 'Enter'.

Obama opens a photo of himself in Photoshop and adds a halo above his head, beam of light from above and an army of angels behind him.

Playing WW3 is fun! Wait a minute, is this for real? Oops!

Obama finally apologizes to America

Online Fraud from the top down.

Remind me to thank Al for inventing the Internet.

Hidden camera catching Obama checking to see if his caption won on LMAObama.com.

Hmmmm …….. Let me Google "Natural Born Citizen" to see what everyone's talking about.

Lemme see… Left click Photoshop.. And… Oh! There it is Birth Certificates.

Oh shit Joe… Ancestry dot com has me in Kenya!

Time to delete lmaobama.com for good…

Amazon is selling a second term? Crud, it looks like I don't have enough votes to buy it.

Great, now I can check into each tea partier's house with these secret cameras!

…Now adding Kira Davis to my Enemies List…

Yeah, this nursery rhyme will be perfect for Joe's bedtime tonight.

Job application section accomplishments: raised unemployment, raised taxes, raised oil prices, and raised my unsatisfactory rating.

ERROR:404

PASSWORD: Brain
HOST: Your password cannot be located

"Too many consecutive unsucessful log-on attempts to Ancestry.com, You have been banned for life, sorry!"

"There's not enough zeroes here to raise the debt limit higher!"

This is so depressing – I thought that by now, SOMEONE would have friended me.

Now what was that site Bill told me about? Oh yeah, it was: xxx.WhiteHousePorn.smut

"Oh damn,,, Secret Bedroom Webcam in the guest bedroom is down! Guess I'll have to watch reruns of Hillary and Bill."

Password: Nairobi

booking his pilgramage to Mecca for February 2013

starting with letter K. Apologize to Kazakhstan for Boran. Apologize to Kenya for….

Starting with letter K. Apologize to Kazakhstan for Borat. Apologize to Kenya for….

"Yeah, Putin, I know all the launch codes. You wouldn't believe how easy they are. The first one is 67xcv0//4, can you believe that? And the second one is…"

ID-10-T

Bringing Socialism to America, yeah head has an app for that!

Bringing Socialism to America, yeah he has an app for that!

Why do they always have to ask for place of birth?

It's Monster.com, right?

"Mr President, you are logged into Messiah.com, you have 415,969 requests since your lst log-on"

Mama would be proud of me if she were here to 'google' my name..wait, WTF. I hate FOXNEWS!

Dear Kenyan Prez:
We fooled the Americans! I even fooled the witch I married. Please tell Oomfoofoo I'll be back to marry her after I'm done with the redistribution process.

I love Google Maps – look, here's my birthplace in Kenya.

Dear Mahmoud Ahmidinehad:

I apologize for the way these Americans have been talking about Iran. To show my sincereity, go ahead and wipe Isreal of the map.

Ancestry.com, Busted! I can lie about that too…

So tell me again… what do all these red states mean?

LMAOBAMA.COM….TIME TO ADD TO MY ENEMIES LIST.

TROLLING REDSTATE.COM

Now that I've hacked into the NRA, my enemies list will be complete

"Dear…friends…at…Al…Qaeda…"

Oh, look! Mahmoud Ahmeninejad invited me to play Jihadville on Facebook.

Dang, I've got a virus! Bush must've put it in here.

'I apologize for the Koran burning and for you having to kill our soldiers."

Oh, crap, it's the door! I'd better hide this Presidential intern porn before Michelle sees it.

My other past time…..PORN

I still can't find a way to apologize to every individual citizen of every country.

Snap the pic already….I'm late for my tee time.

Damn! My manicure looks killer!

"Dear Iran, we surrender."

Travelocity.com's top member

Ctrl-Alt_Del ….. Hmm, the economy hasn't changed……
Okay, How about /reformat economy echo off… Damn…..

Do I want to save money by booking my family's next vacation on Priceline.com? Nah! It's not like I'M paying for it!

Dear Monica,want your job back?

You have already voted for this LMAObama caption. You can not vote more than once.

Let me how much I can get for those nukes on eBay…

Breitbart is Dead? Damn! I might have a chance to win the election!

And on January 20, 2013, the whole country rejoiced as he turned over the key to the White House to his successor. The end.

10 PRINT "YOU ARE THE BEST PRESIDENT EVER ";
20 GOTO 10

RUN

Oh yeah! Take it off!

O.K. Where is it again? Ahhhh!! There it is… "Convert U.S. Dollars to Chinese Yen"…

"Appears my Exxon stocks are looking good."

Wow!!!! Everything on "newt.org" makes a lot of sense. Gotta remember to have Janet have this website deleted from the internet for security reasons, like "my job security"

Let's see… To- Do list:

Destroy 2nd amendment- check
Destroy Christianity, Islam, and Judism with ObamaCare- check
Totally destroy the American goverment- check

Let's see… Ok Osama. Everyone thinks your dead. You can attack American again.
**Emails to bin Laden**

**New E-mail from- Osama bin Laden**
Dear Obama:

We need this IDIOT! out of office in November before we become a Socialist State and loose all of our "God Given Rights!"