Damn! They aint no apples in this thing!

I'll never admit it, but Steve Jobs was one smart honky,

This machine is dangerous. We cannot have the commoners possessing such knowledge.

Romper Room had a magic mirror but I have my magic laptop to see who isn't eating their vegetables. And I can see Bobby and Johnnie and Jimmy and, WTF, that's Barack!!!!

I think that tent would look good on me…

I wonder how many dresses I could make from that compost pile…

Why am I getting emails to join "The Biggest Loser?"

An invitation to an all-you-can-eat buffet? I'm in!

What?! How did I get last place in the fashion contest?

Michelle attends a web meeting for people who weren't proud of their countries.

Ahhhh…. So that's how Stalin did it!

My Dear Mr. Ahmadinejad…

An apple a day, not Obamacare, will keep the doctor away. That's it!!!

THAT BASTARD LENO IS STILL MAKING FUN OF MY ASS

Antisipating the election outcome Michele sits poised to make that last second E-Bay bid on Chicago Senate seat.

"Darn, I've been on Facebook for 2 years and I still have no friends. I'm going to order Bo to shut them down!"

Barack doesn't know I post most of the captions at LMAO!

I knew that rat bastard was sneaking Oreos and Twinkees, and this oval office web-cam proves it.

Damn there aint any $15,000 a night rooms in Hawaii, Whats up with that?

Let's see, what expensive vacation hotspot will the taxpayers send me to next…

I'll just book vacations everywhere; it's not like I'm paying for them.

Ack! Ack! Ack!

Hey, that skinny butt locator app finds Barack in two seconds! Now I'll try the cigarette smoke detector device and his ass is grass.

"Stealing Wi-Fi. Oh yeaaaa."

Kayak.com won't accept the taxpayers credit card for another lavish vacation!

I'll book THIS vacation under Bo's name, LOL

Jenny Craig ain't got nuthin' on me

"unlike" LMAOBAMA.com

"fat index 50%"??

Where's that 'caps-lock'?

I really think I should be on dancin' with the stars.

REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM

Surely there's some county Barry qualifies as King for so I can be Queen.

This cyber sex is much better than the real thing!

Dear Abby, no one seems to like me….

Apple stock suddenly plunges.

Oh! Here’s a nice 3 BR 2 Bath apartment. And it’s available in January of 2013!

Hmmmm, Black Queen on red King. I like this game!

I'll teach that #@%$^%$^#$ for calling me a Wookie!

Hurry up you piece of junk! I have to vote for my lmaobama.com caption before the polls close!

This lmaobama.com has got some seriously funny $#@*!

Let's see, what else do I put down…MBF, 48, 6'0 tall…I don't swing on the first date and you better not smoke…I been through enough a that crap…Political Views: Marxist…

Let’s see, what else do I put down?…MBF, 48, approximately 6’0 tall; Children: Would rather not say. I don’t swing on the first date and you better not smoke…I been through enough a that B.S.…Enjoys healthy cooking–you better enjoy it, too…Discretion a must–Husband does not know. Political Views: Marxist-Socialist Commie…

Hey, look! An Israeli site. But why do I see myself on the screen?

That jerk kicked me off Air Force One; now I gotta use Orbitz like the rest of the commoners…

Lovin' my lime green sweater! Now just gotta find matching shoes and handbag for tonight's state dinner…

Look at what tax payer dollars bought me.

Wow! You can really see my butt from space!

I only like junk food, so this is the only time you'll catch me with an apple.

"I'll just use the 'Buy it now' option and put it John Q. Citizen's tab."

Wow, the people in this music video wear the weirdest things…

My attempt to shut down lmaobama.com failed back in January; I'll have to try it again…

"Why in the hell did Barack put all these weightloss programs on my laptop?"

Operation Confiscate Turkey Sandwich Complete!
Let them eat chicken nuggets (my stock in nuggets is rising)!!!!

What does the yellow bird do again?

Now, time to see if Barry and Oprah are sending each other naked pics again.

Hmmm. I wonder if I can find his REAL birth certificate online.

H-o-w- T-o G-e-t- R-e-e-l-c-t-e-d.c-o-m

Dear Mr Soros,
Barry and I are gonna need some more "contributions".
Sincerely,
Shelly

Let me check this movingoutofwhitehouse.com….

Checking for viruses: "The only virus detected is the operator", Hmmm I wonder what that means?

This computer is so hard to figure out, I'm glad that Barry had Steve 'taken out'.

These birds need Anger Management classes.

damn in Poppa Johns is blocked

I just love American made products now that I'm finally proud of my country.

"What the heck?! That can not be right. No way I have lost that much in my 401k."

Michelle scans LMAOBAMA for new "friends."

"So many enemies – so little time."

Strange — Google doesn't recognize "Obamautopia."

If Barack can only pass a law to vote by computer!