The Unhappiest Place in the World
If you re-elect me, I will turn America into the "Unhappiest Place in the World."
Obama's politics don't even work in fairy tales.
Stop confusing me with Mickey Mouse; my ears are not that big!
Seriously, why don't you think Michelle would make a good Disney Princess?
I plan on replacing the White House with a castle just like the one behind me.
I threw a coin in the wishing well, don't worry everything will be fine from now on
Stop calling me President Man-cub!
Under my new plan, there will be no more fun allowed here.
What? I’m nothing like that vain, deceptive, and narcissistic queen from “Snow White!”
I am here to announce the new tax on fun. Tickets will now be $500 instead of the old $130. We know you will understand.
"Well, for me, this is a homecoming: a world of fantasy closed to people who disagree with me."
Yes we are planing on moving in next month!
To lower the deficit I am confiscating and auctioneering the castle in the background. Do I hear $10 million?
I am here today to announce my new tax on happiness.
My marriage is secure. There is no truth to the rumors that I am f*****g Goofy.
"From now on it will be called 'Yesterdayland' because I have already spent your 'Tomorrow'."
"If you can afford to bring a family here, you should be paying more taxes"
"I sold Tomorrowland to China."
"Look over there and you can see, Main Street USA is thriving under my new tax plan"
Goofy makes his daily appearance.
I'm here to announce Mickey Mouse as the new Cartoon Czar.
They shut down Main Street USA for me today. Just like I did for 4 years.
It's a small debt after all, it's a small debt….
"Hakuna Matata folks. Don't worry about the debt, no jobs, or the scandals. Hakuna Matata."
Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside, but what is inside that counts.
KING OBAMA INVITES ALL THE PEASANTS TO VISIT HIS CASTLE.
Would I tell you a story?
When I win the election, guess where I'm going.
"So it's really that simple, Goofy, Donald & Winnie will be the next in line for Czar Titles"
Thanks to the 50 new construction jobs I've created, I'd like to introduce the newly remodeled White House.
I'm the real Goofy
"…and so, I realized that the only way I'll be re-elected is by registering Disney characters to vote."
"Snow White" is too racist, so I'm changing it to "Snow Black."
For the last time, I'm not Dopey!
Hopefully, our new "Occupy Main Street" protest will close this place down.
I live in the castle behind me most of the time…
Your neighbors saved for 5 years to come here. That's messed up. Vote for me and I'll give you a vacation bailout!
When I am King of America, I will transform the White House into the magical castle you see behind me.
Your neighbors saved for 5 years to come here. That's messed up. What you need is a vacation bailout hookup.
Someone tell that damn mouse he's blocking my teleprompter!
Who just yelled out "Dumbo"?
Maybe my Marxist dreams can come true here.
All dictators need a second home…well I claim the one behind me.
Obama at home in Fanatasy Land.
Even MY policies can work in the Magic Kingdom.
"And I proudly announce that, thanks to my leadership, Disney World will now accept EBT cards and Food Stamps. Of course that's only in Welfare World."
-To the tune of "Friend Like me"
Unemployment’s up over eight percent
My Wall Street buddies have gone and Bailed
Keep thinking I’ll pay your gas and rent
Not like Marxism has ever failed
The Media is in my pocket now
Foreign money pouring in, more each day
If you don’t like that, you’re a racist, Wow!
But still vote for me on Election Day!
And I'll say
I went to Harvard folks
My records you can‘t see!
I know what’s best for you
Just pipe down
You ain't never had a Prez like me
Does anyone realize I'm wearing my princely tights behind this podium
Kennedy was to Camelot as Obama is to Fantasyland
Now about the economy…
Obama finally finds a place where his fantasies of Utopia can materialize.
"I took over the entire country; what makes you think I can't take over Cinderella's Castle? Look out Cinderekka, cuz I'm comin' in!!"
"I'm here to tell you that if you vote for me the Three Little Pigs will ALL have brick homes, the Three Blind Mice will get laser surgery, and Donald Duck will get pants!! I promise!"
We all deserve to live in a castle! Cinderella has enough money.
When I wish upon my czars,
they will rob you of your cars,
By raising up the price of gas,
Stopping drilling, I'm an ass,
For my healthcare they will vie,
making sure you oldsters die.
Killing jobs is all I do,
For this makes my dreams come true.
D-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E DICKEY MOUSE!
"Realy? You think Mickey Mouse could do a better job. Then vote for him."
"I came here today to promote tourism but first Secret Service has to clear out all the tourists."
"DAMN! Somebody get a mouse trap – there is one BIG MOUSE runnin' around out here!"
Disney World welcomes it's FIRST RAT!
"Well, kids, I'm going to tell you the story of the TWO Little Pigs. The story begins when Michelle just had to have a Pork Chop."
I am here to announce our new entertainment tax. Disney World will now cost you $1000 a day.
Under my leadership there will be a chicken in every pot and every family will live in a castle, the prototype is right behind me!
"Someone get Joe over here and tell him he can get a picture with Mickey later."
"Now let me be clear. No one in this entourage will ride the Tea Party ride."
I remember when they brought in THEIR OWN audience; only planted applause robots (no real guests) allowed.
The public was re-routed. Reality forbidden.
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