Yeah it's true… my balls are this big!

All we're doing is taking the constitution and flipping it over. That's the change we believe in!

I grabbed Soros' ass and kissed it like this. Next thing you know, I was President.

"Can you hear that giant sucking sound? That is you national security going down the drain with my new defense budget."

"Joe quit playing with the teleprompter."

Regan's balls were this big, I wished mine were, but there in Michels purse!!!

"See this. This is MY idea of Transparent Government: you can look right through it and all you see is ME."

I know I lie alot…but when I say Michelle can eat a burger this big..I ain't lyin' Really!!

Obama illustrates the size of Earth as compared to his Ego.

"If I put all my knowledge of running the country into a bowl, the bowl would be THIS big! QUIT LAUGHING!"

"I once ate a cheeseburger THIS BIG! Stop laughing, you know I don't lie!"

Obama illustrates "Kissing Soros' Ass"

Pucker up, Barry, and show the world how you kiss Soros' butt!

Iran, North Korea, Afghanistan…. line 'em up and I'll apologize Barry style.

And If I win re-election then you can carry a trillion dollars just like this to pay for your groceries.

Read my lips, more and more taxes.

Limbaugh exagerates. I only hate America THIS much.

The bitter pill you'll have to swallow will be THIS big!

No kidding. Michelles burger was this big.

Now everybody chant: O-BAM-A, O-BAM-A.

GLO-BALL-IST

Obama thinks he's got the whole world in his hands.

Down came the rain and washed the President out.

First you grab the butt cheeks like this, then pucker up

I'm a zero, who's with me?

Ass kisser in chief strikes a pose!

IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN

All together now
Zipiddy do da zippidy ah!

Just last week I created a job. A balloon blower. I taught him how to do it just like this.

*mmmWAH!* That's how the Saudi king likes his butt kissed.

And as curious as Curious George was, he stayed far away from the troubles of the economy.

It's easy,
you just line up Chavez's butt and
kiss it

You wait, we're gonna make Chevy Volts THIS big! I realize no one will be able to ride in one but just think of the mileage you'll get!

On my first date with Michelle, I went melon shopping.

Based on the success of the prototype, each aircraft carrier will now have a basketball court on deck.

When meeting other countries leaders. I first grab their ass cheeks with both hands, pucker and kiss away!

"Forget the Star Spangled Banner. Give me an O . . ."

He can whistle but he doesn't work.

So Bush leaves me this big ol' mess and …..whoa look at the ass on that one.

In Kenya, this is what we call the big cornholio.

In Kenya, they salute me with this hand symbol, it means man who kisses many butts.

And next time I meet the King of Saudi Arabia, I plan to kiss his ass like this.

… her melons were just about this big.

…And if you vote for me you'll all get blunts this big….

I'm better than Lincoln. I can fool all the people, all the time.

Will you please stop playing the theme from "Mission Impossible" while I explain my reelection strategy?

You have to know just how to ask for more Chinese money.

Most of my lies are about this big.

'… All of you in my administration will greet foreign dignitaries thusly… shake hands, move behind them and get on your kness and grab their ass cheeks and…'

'Thats IT!!!, ENOUGH ALREADY YOU GIANT ASS, I QUIT!!!!

Can any of you kiss ass better than I can? I don't see any hands… look… you can't do better than this…

Teleprompters missing Obama tries to communicate…

'woooo… weeee… wah…uh…wah…I…wu..wu..wa…wa..woo'

'Get off the podium you f&*%ing IDIOT!'

Our new National Anthem…. here it is…Oohhhh say can you see? How I was born to be king…?…. wooo wooooo wo wo wo… wee weee ever wee wee… huh?

'Anyone got a gun?! I am going to kill this worthless bum!!!'

The world is like a medium sized big meat pizza… with chicken and baby back ribs and… more than three cheeses, we should get equal sized pieces…

Michelle: 'Get your dumb black ass home and get your chores done Barry…. NOW!

Michelle was and is still today an angry black woman…. and her mouth gets this big… just one…

Ohhhhh…. Baarrrrry…. guess who in de crowd… lets go home now Barry…come on…

Barry? Barry!!!! You talkin' 'bout me?! Again??? Get yo ass down here… pain is waiting… ohhh pain is waiting for you…

The burger Michelle ordered yesterday had this much meat in it.

This is how you throw a baseball, right?

Michelle's mouth is so big that she can fit a banana in it…sideways.

Yo! Barry! Get yo lazy black ass down here! You got chores befo dinner! You 'muss be' talkin' 'bout bird calls! 'Cause I will kick your ass if I catch yo talkin' 'bout ME agin!

Sir… the First Lady just came in and listened…. slapped me, and then left in a hurry…

Sir, that simply won't work,…it might be a… uh… better idea to just shake hands and smile… I don't think they kiss ass a lot in the middle east… just a suggestion…

Sorry to interrupt Sir but Romney blows better and much bigger bubbles with his American bubble gum…

(Exclusive weekly MSNBC brief…)

Everything I and my administration has and have and do… we have been transparent… Here… I'll prove it…can you see this bubblegum bubble I will blow? Watch… hmm? hmmm?!

This is my new modern African tribal rap move… ooh…ohhh ook… ohmygosh… ook…be the cheetah…be the chimp…ohh push it… ooo..

OBAMA! OBAMA! THIS IS GOD… remember Bill Cosby, George Burns and John Denver? 'WE', YOU AND I, NEED TO TALK NOW!!!!!

I was told I need to fix things with God… I am practicing to be a rich TV personality protestant paster after 2012… how does this pose look?

Yes! And all the vacations and Pelosi's expenses and all of it was to travel with the high tech equipment to engage for the American people then indeed prove for once and all the world is truly round…

without the telepromters… 'What the hell was I talking about?'

'Well you all can call it what you want… but when I pucker up to their backside…. my brain expands 1000 fold… can you imagine a brain tha fills up your head?' Watch… I'll pucker…

I wont stop until your nest egg resembles a goose egg!

Honestly, I have no idea how Monica's phone number got into my Private Cell Phone!

O ssshhhhhhiiiii……..

"Whooaaaa wait a minute. I thought that whole 'character doesn't matter' issue had been settled."

So I reached out, grabbed Mahmoud's butt and kissed it just like this before he agreed to give the drone back.

So you grab the economy just like this and SUCK all of the life out of it.

I swear her arms were this only big when I married her!

Whoa… please don't throw food at me. I am trying to explain why our economy is bad.

I wish Michelles Ass was only this big!

Seriously…my whole economic plan will make your a$$ pucker!

CAIR likes me to kiss there ass just like this…

I know this much about running the country.

We're continuing to shrink this economy more than any other administration…

By the time I get through screwing the American people their asshole is gonna be this big.

Ass-Kisser in Chief

Obama now has a permanent pucker from kissing so much ass!

Obama should be Kicking Ass NOT Kissing Ass!

ooh, ooh, ooh . . .throw me the ball, throw me the ball

I really like to kiss those dictators asses that are big and round like a Melon!

Barry demonstrates his mastery of ass kissing!

"Nancy said it was only this big, but actually it was thiiissss BIG!"

Ass kisser and thief

Who says I do not have a plan to fix our economy, I have it here in my hands now.

OK Everyone, repeat after me; "I've got the WORLD in my hands, the whole world in my hands…."

OK Everyone, sing it along with me: "I've got the WHOLE WORLD in my hands, the WHOLE WORLD in my hands…."

Barry, the Blowhard, drops the ball.

Everybody! Old McDonald lost his farm E-P, E-P, A……
And on that farm we raised his taxes I-R, I-R, S…..

The best way to kiss a dictator's ass, is to grab his buttocks tight, like so….

Ok, so the bottom line is this, I have NO CLUE as how to fix what I have done.

THEN THERE WILL BE THIS GIANT SUCKING SOUND, AND WILL BE AMERICA GOING DOWN THE TOILET

Just follow me!:

Broke? Just whistle your cares away!
Unemployed? Just whistle your cares away!
Sick? Just whistle your cares away!
Re-election? I'll just whistle my cares away!

Barry's re-election theme song:
"I'm forever blowing bubbles,
Pretty bubbles in the air,
They fly so high, nearly reach the sky
Then like my dreams they fade and die."

OK, all you illegal aliens listen up. When asked who you want to vote for, set your lips like this and say Oooobama.

"Wa, wha, what I'm trying to say is that all my accomplishments don't amount to a can of beans."

"Oh no you don't! Save your hard balls for the Republican debates."

I only WISH it was this big!

"I, uh, o-o-only have 12 months left to uh round out what has been uh so far a failed presidency.

"I will be the first Commander-in-Chief to receive a dishonorable discharge."

This election's gonna be epic dawg! (Black vote secured)

What is that telepromp saying!?!

I wish Michelle's ass was this small