Now, Santa, I want you to tell the people that it's YOUR fault they will have no Christmas this year.
Okay Santa, I'm going to tell you the correct way to redistribute toys.
Listen, old man, I had the EPA ban coal so you WON'T be messing with my stocking again.
One more "Merry Christmas!" and I have them haul your fat red rear right outta here, old man.
I know you're as fake as my jobs plan, but just go with it.
(Santa) I think if you'd had me dress up as The Grinch it would have been more appropriate.
Mess with my stocking THIS year and NOBODY gets any coal.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Oh wait – that's the First Lady.
Make sure that those rich white kids get coal.
Santa distributes presents; Obama redistributes them.
One of these two are real.
Please welcome my new Czar of Entitlement Programs
Santa visits the Island of Misfits
…and I want new golf clubs and a vacation to Portofino and two new teleprompters and..
I've done a better 'snowjob' on the parents than you have on the children! Can you believe they are still buying my lies?
Praise be to Allah, now just quietly play along for the infidel masses!
Maybe standing next to Santa, people will believe I'm for real.
Which one is more believable?
We regulated Santa this year and he'll only come to your house if you vote for me!
The Bringer of Cheer meets the Bringer of Fear.
Ok Santa… now tell them I will be their "Santa Claus" from now on!!!
No quietly go the sleigh and bring me the gifts for the white kids so we can redistribute the presents accordingly!
Now, Abu Akbar Muhammed Klaus, can you tell us the virtues of converting to Islam?
The Distributor and the Redistributor
If you don't let me choose who gets presents this year, Santa, I'm going to put you out of business with the new "Santa and Reindeer" tax I would implement… That's after i ensure the FAA gets a hold of you!
Now quietly go the sleigh and bring me the gifts for the white kids so we can redistribute the presents accordingly!
Make sure you leave milk and cookies out so that Santa can give them to Mrs. Obama.
Barry, you owe me another reindeer because your wife sat on Rudolph and killed him.
Santa Claus and Canta No Balls new talk show
Distribution meets Re-distribution.
Obama meets his hero. The guy who works one day a year.
Dueling myths…Santa and a Natural Born American President…
Santa meets the Grinch
You tell them how you love to have a seasonal job- it's better than part-time year around!!
Now Santa, tell me what you want for Christmas.
Here's an example of how the alternative minimum tax forces people to pay their his fair share. He makes all that money on pictures in shopping malls and then uses the toys as a write off.
Santa joins me today to announce that Christmas Day is being moved to August 4th, this year is now 50 AD-BHO, and you don't EVEN want to know about the Christmas goose that's coming your way.
"Yea Santa, I have a bunch of little people working for me too."
Normally non-violent, Santa waits for the right moment to choke the Grinch of Capitalism.
Hey Barry, don't feel bad that more people believe in me than in you.
'Give' and 'Take'.
All I want Santa is to be able to fool them for 11 more months.
see kids? Just like me, Santa is not from around here either.
Santa: I am bringing you a peice of clean coal this freakin' big and it's not going in your stocking..
No Santa. The coal goes to the families who make over 50k a year.
You bet you're on the naughty list just like you have been since 08′.
"All I want for Christmas is a US Birth Certificate"
And let me introduce the mall Santa… My latest jobs program.
I have hired a new czar to hand out my last stimulus package. I call it Obamamas.
Boy I really hate old white people
Santa listen, Just Promise them anything…..that's what I did…..
What did you say your name was?
Shut up and sign Joe!
"Hang on, fat boy – I'LL decide who's been bad and who's been good."
Well Mr President, if I could just get Michele to sit on my lap, why I'd…I'd……like to………..
When you finish this Santa gig you can be the Easter bunny. That would be TWO jobs I created.
Are you serious young man? "You'll shoot your eye out."
And then you planned to redistribute all of the toys the elves made. That is why you're on the naughty list.
"Coal is dirty and causes global warming, instead naughty children will find Solyndra solar panels in their stockings."
Bad news: PETA is complaining about reindeer pulling a fat man around the world all night and so they are released.
Good news: Hunting season is open for out of work Americans.
You see that bus over there? Get ready.
"And then you kneel down on a rug, facing east……"
Look how big MicHELLe's Ass is
Santa, please explain to Michelle that "Ho ho ho" had nothing to do with her entering the room.
I want to introduce my new Secretary of Welfare
Duke of URL
"Hey Santa, think you can throw a million or so jobs my way?" "HO HO HO, I don't think so, I don't believe in you."
"How do I get all the toys delivered in one night? First off, I don't use the Postal Service."
Barrak Obama: Rebuilding the American Dream, one $8 an hour job at a time.
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me
I've been an awful good boy
Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight
See how easy it is? All the words are right there on the teleprompter
"I'd tax the hell out of those elves, give the holiday a generic non-religious name, and force everyone to buy a present under penalty of law."
So Santa.. am I on the Naughty or Nice list? Santa: Well… I would like to get out of here alive…
Well… a long time ago…the Christmas of 1961 I delivered an ostrich egg rattle to a small hut in Kenya for little Barrack… and thats you.
Ok… the mike is off Santa… you tell them my first present was dropped in Hawaii not Kenya or the White House will have venison for Christmas.
Janet: Mike off?
Obama: Yep…clever costume.So Napolitano what gifts are we giving the cartels here tonight?
Janet: We are prepared to give the cartels little dirty bombs that are disguised as fruitcakes…
"So Santa, to make all those deliveries in one night, I guess you must be fast and furious too?"
Santa: "That's a really nice Christmas tree you have there Barry, too bad you can't afford to put presents under it."
B.O: "It's a 'Holiday tree' Kris, and all I need to do is print more money for gifts."
"You put a Koran on top of the tree?!"
So what do you say everybody?…Napolitano Claus!… Anyone?…come on, there has to be something she can do right! Anyone?
And what, Santa do you have for Joe in your huge bag of presents tonight???….Huh? Well I have a brain for Joe, a one-way ticket for Nancy to get lost in Somalia and a big bowl of guts for you! Ho Ho Ho…
"That's right, Santa. Keep those hands were I can see them. Now, tell all those kids that there'll be no more presents unless their parents vote for me."
All I want for Christmas is to payoff my stimulus packages so I can get re-elected. No? Well keep sending me on vacation every week from now until I'm outta here.
'" Shut up Hillary and earn your pay for once, now go tell Biden he's been a bad boy and he's off the ticket next year"
"Are you sure you need to check your list twice?"
WHOA HO HO! SANTA DOESN'T CARRY A WALLET, SO YOU CAN GET YOUR HAND OUT OF MY BACK POCKET YOUNG FELLA!
See that guy over there? He still believes in Santa and that I was born in the U.S.
Oh Cool! Karaoke to sing Christmas carols is just like using a teleprompter to make a speech.
I can't sing Christmas carols without a teleprompter either!!!!
Michelle, get over here…Santa is ready for you to sit in his lap.
Enough of your excuses, fat white man, by presidential decree I'm having you detained at Gitmo on the charges of breaking and entering writ large.
Santa Claus and Satan Claus
"Ok, Santa…you say Merry CHRISTMAS one more time and I'm gonna shove this microphone in your cookie hole!"
"Once I am done taking everyone's rights away, you will be the next to go"
Santa here is the one person who isn't out of a job due to my economic plan
And we're really happy Kaptain Kwanzaa could join us for this early Hanukah celebration.
Obama is finally the smartest one in the photo.
Santa: "as soon as I get my hannds on that tree, I am replacing the angel on top of it"
Barry, I think they are inferring it is you they don't believe in!
No, I'm sorry Barack, but there are no black Kenyan elves at the North Pole.
Ladies and Gentlemen….My new running mate for Vice President.
If you hand out more coal this year, Santa, that will be one more shovel ready job for some poor slob.
No that's right……
I created more private sector jobs in the last two years than Bush did in all eight.
I just asked Santa to give congress a heart.
"You tried to power the Christmas tree lights with Solyndra solar panels?!"
Due to health issues, site updates will happen...when I can. Thanks for your patience.