Why is this bill so long? i should just skip to the end and sign it.

Mentally constipated.

My enemies list just gets longer and longer…

Let me see what that means..Narcissist..lack of empathy, a willingness to exploit others, and an inflated sense of self-importance…

Barry brushes up on the communist manifesto

If I had a teleprompter czar I wouldn't have to read this thing.

How can I pick a favorite?
I look magnificent in every photo!

Cram all you like, big boy!
Newt will still whoop your hiney in any debate.

The Thinker

This is too much like work. Can't somebody just tell me what it says while I golf?

Jeez! Nancy Pelosi looks pretty good naked!!!

Refresher: How to be President in One Easy Lesson

"Pledge of Allegiance to the ….. what kind of sh** is this!"

Obama peruses Michelle's latest travel expense account.

Occupy Wall Street demands just get longer and longer and longer and ……

"Damn! Michelle only spent $127.63 on cheeseburgers at McDonald's. Guess she didn't want any fries."

Michelle's latest travel expenses – a mere 327 pages. Must have been a short trip.

Those NBA guys look pretty good naked!

The Stinker

So this is what a budget looks like.

No way am I reading all of this sh*!

"This is the Obamacare law? Damn this really is some messed up stuff!"

If I can just get them all legalized in time to vote for 2012 I might have a shot.

Okay, the answer for planted question 4 is, "Look at how many jobs I have saved." I can remember that.

Hooked on phonics worked for me!

If not for Seaseme Street I wouldn't be able to read this far!

Damn, I really was born in Kenya, there are only 50 states, and Hawaii is not in Asia. Oops!

If no one else in my administration is willing to learn about economics, I'll do it myself!

Dear Barry,
Prom was totally rad. Thanks for the lei…
XOXO,
Nancy

Hmmmm, So little time and so many more things to ruin

I don't see anywhere in this job description that I have to do anything actually beneficial to the country.

Alinsky………….you are a genius.

Hiding the basketball scores in this bill was genius!

Don't laugh Barry.. Don't even smirk… Hold it in… I can't believe they actually think I'm reading this!

Maybe if I chew on my finger, they'll think I'm deep in thought.

Why does my teleprompter manual have to be so long?

Which questions should I allow the media to ask me?

Hmmm.. How can I get away with giving thanks at Thanksgiving and leaving out God? Oh, yeah, I just can.

Obama finally starts reading the first volume of SB 3200

Hmm mm, I can play golf the entire month of May

America has a Constitution?

I have to admit, Barney has exceeded his quota of doing damage…I guess we can let him retire now.

'Damn, wish I had actually gone to Columbia now.'

This says i am supposed to do what!!! Defend this country????

I before E, except after C. Aww, Forget it, it's Mandatory Mandarin from now on starting in Pre-K.

In retrospect most of the stuff I put in my book is really fiction.

According to this Black Friday means something totally different.

I'll bet if I translate this into Klingon they'll vote for it.

There's no way Congress will accept this…hey, if I translate this into Klingon I'll bet it'll sail right through.

I would be much more comfortable reading this while on the toilet.

Are you sure these are the directions IKEA gave us for assembling this table and chairs?

The Koran

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.
The Beneficent, the Merciful.
Master of the Day of Judgment.
Thee do we serve and Thee do we beseech for help.
Keep us on the right path.
The path of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed favors. Not (the path) of those upon whom Thy wrath is brought down, nor of those who go astray.

… this is so much more interesting that that Bible thing the Christians read.

Where was Politics for Dummies three years ago?

The next step in your job search is to prepare a resume. If you have no meaningful work experience . . .

Man, this Economics 101 stuff is really confusing.

"I've just got to finish reading this teleprompter repair manual…."

reading the new script for Stargate, where he plays Apophis again!!!!

So this is what the Constitution says?

Oh a job well I never had one of those pimpin ho's is my work

After hours of reviewing the IKEA assembly instructions, Barack decides not to build the economy and instead goes on vacation…again.