Urkel and Merkel

Let me prove to you that black men ARE bigger…

My tongue is so forked that I can lick both your ears at the same time!

You call me "Bart" and I'll call you "Lili Von Shtupp".

Next time Germany wants Czechoslovakia, you talk to me.

I'm the guy who sold Chrysler to Berlusconi.

Don't worry, baby, Michelle is off somewhere telling people how to feed their kids.

"I may have campaigned on transparency, Angela,
but I'm running a not-see American government."

Yuck!

You get to bailout other countries? Well I bailout global car companies.

Angela, I get so jealous when I see you with Sarkozy.

"Uh, you know that medal I gave you,,,,well, I have to return it to the pawn shop or I don't get back my buck fifty."

Please get him away from me, Please…..

"Schnitzel?"

Schnitzel and Shitzel

"You DO know I'm full of schnitzel?"

"Hey, Ange, ole buddy, ole pal,,,,a little criticism never hurt anybody."

"If you don't smile for the cameras Michelle is gonna kick your heinie!"

"If you don't wipe that smirk off your face Michelle is gonna kick your heinie!"

"Loose the smile and Michelle kicks your azz!"

Michelle likes your shirt, so you're going to be a good little German and give it to me!

"In English that's called a 'goose'."

It's ok.. I know deep down you like me.

You have really nice shoulders. You work out?

Either you bail out the EU, or I'm going to send my Union minions to Germany!

Come with me to ze Casbah.

"Ange…your hubby's last name is Sauer….does that make him a Sauer-Kraut?"

SECURITY!!! GET THIS SCHWARTZER OFF OF ME!!!!!!!!! SHNELL!!!!

"Get your slimy hand off me, you freak!"

"Ange,,,do you know Frau Blucher?"

When I was a kid I used to pretend that Sgt. Kinchloe was my father and Fräulein Hilda was my mother.

Which of the 57 states are you the governor of?

Let me show you my teleprompter

"RRRRR… Your hair smells good."

If you would send me Hitlers notes on taking over I would be forever indebted to you.

fick dich Arschloch

Cross me again and I'll have my Muslim brothers take of you.

I'm faster and slicker than your autobahn.

Don't tell Michelle…Daddy's got something to show you that makes our foreign debt look small…

We'll go down together.

Get it off me!
Get it off me!
Get it off me!
Get it off me!
Get it off me!

I'd like to see your green energy

"Ange, love the scent. Is that Eau de Schnitzel?"

"Don't look, but that guy to your right is making goo-goo eyes at you."

"Just because you belong to the Christian Democratic Union party and I'm a Muslim doesn't mean we can't be friends….wait, yes it does."

"Do you wanna get funky with me?"

Let's go somewhere and play Monica and Bill.

I guess we're the ultimate flip-floppers. Capitalism…Socialism…Socialism…Capitalism…Comme Ci…Comme Ca

"Ich bin ein asshole."

I'm sorry Mr. President, but you know what they say, "Once you go conservative you ain't goin' back".

You can't squeeze dollars out of eruo, Dumkoff.

Do as I say and you can do for your country what I did for mine.

Come on now…I'll bow next time, I promise

Germany seems to have a lot of money… don't you think it would be great if I could move here in 2013?

I will be your Colonel Clink and you can be my Sargeant Schultz… eh baby?

How about a roll in ze hay????

Nope… can't see her boobs from here either…

You have any solar power comapnies that need more money?

Do you think the German crowd really like me? I think the crowds back at home don't like me as much anymore…

You guys need more blacks in office here can you teach me German?

Are these people talking about me? I can't understand a word…

You ear smells wonderful… what is that, mustard?

The difference between me and Clinton is that he got caught AND has a small pecker!

No…that isn't a teleprompter in my pocket…and you are welcome

Oh, Angie, once you have half-white you'll never go…Uh…I forget…

True Love

HEADLINE: ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANT INFECTIONS SPREAD THROUGH EUROPE.

Today the Euro, tomorrow the dollar. We are so close to making the new 'Soros' the currency of the new world order. Heil George!

"Angela, is it true that blondes have more fun?"

Thought bubble for Merkel: Just take the damned picture so I can get this smelly bastard off me!

No, I did not play Apophis on Stargate SG1.

They still dont suspect our plans,Mother. we will launch the missiles on tuesday, FOR MOTHER RUSSIA!

"Just because I'm a woman, this creep thinks he can manipulate me."