No unscripted questions taken here

Talk to the hand

"You're growing sleepy, sleepy….You will support my jobs bill…"

Dude, what's with the hard questions?

You may call taxpayers "unsecured creditors" of Solyndra's debt, but I like to think of them as "going green."

Watch how when I lay my hand upon his head, he will be purged of the demons, Liberty and Democracy.

No. It is not true that I am not listening to the American people. Now sit down and shut up.

No, no, you misunderstand, it was never "your" money

"Your Majesty" I like to be addressed as "Your Majesty"

Wait, I speak you don't

If you want me to answer you, you have got to stop standing in front of the teleprompter

"Just be patient….I'll let you know when you can submit your application for the replacement Attorney General position…"

"Hold on… that wasn't a flip-flop. It was an intentional strategic reversal in our former communicated position."

"Sorry — I'm going to have to cut you off there, or I'm going to be late for my tee time."

Woah buddy, save your breath… do you really think I give a rats ass about what any of you people think?!?! Now show some respect and bow to me!

Rise and be HEELED…..

Just sit down and shut up; I don't care for your opposition.

Yes, I have the power,,,,, HEAL, HEAL this teapartier.

Excuse me, excuse me. I don't recall seeing that question on my list.

I usually don't Knight people on Mondays but, what the hell.

"Whoa there fella, those promises were made during a campaign and as such are meaningless. Do you have any questions about how I took out Bin Laden?"

let me be clear, I'm right. Whatever is pissing you off it's the republicans fault…

Damn! It worked against me when George Soros waived his hands and said, "you will do as I say."

Just give me two more minutes and I will wrap up this press conference before Rush starts his show

Repeat after me. "Everything I say is true."

Mr. President, How many more years do you hope to be serving as President?

Sit down, the worship service was 15 minutes ago.

As a Serf your opinion has NO relevancy here!

"You will now quack like a Marxist."

"Wait! I'll trade you some hope for a valium."

"Your thoughts are not your own. Your thoughts are not your own."

"You are now a Zombama. Repeat after me: Socialism is good. We must redistribute the wealth. Socialism is good. We must redistribute the wealth……."

Barry was "shocked" to discover the electrically restrained reporter was able to stand and ask a question without the current knocking him out

Back off white boy, if you don't like my politics then YOU are a racist.

Sir, if you will allow me to continue, I will prove that I am an idiot…

"See – nothing in my hand. Just like your bank account!"

The Presidential Money Grabber. With this he can grab your money faster than you can make it.

Wait a second, there will be no questions asked during this press conference

In the name of all that's holy, I say HEAL brotha'!

Hang on white boy! I'll get to ya'!

And this is how I parted the Red Sea….

These are not the droids your are looking for.

No America is not better off than it was 4 years ago..

NO and NO again … there's no way I'm going to hold this speech without a teleprompter.

Back off — I had no idea about "Fast & Furious" …

Just hold your horses there, buddy — as your President I only answer the questions I deem appropriate for my status.

Shut up, peasant!

Careful! Remember, the secret service are on my side!

Have a seat Mr. Holder. I told you before I will pardon you when they indict you!

Sit down, I won't let you stand up for what you believe.

Sorry, I don't have time for another opinion.

Hey, I didn't tell you to stand up yet, puppet.

The number of dollars that you'll have to spend after taxes.

The number of dollars you'll have left after taxes.

You, yes you …Just shut up about my approval rating or I'll have to zap you with the electrodes on your neck.

Now wait a minute — "Freedom of Speech" is perfectly OK, as long as it doesn't question me, my office or my actions, you got that?

You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your left hand in, you make a fist and make like Caligula!!!!

Watch the hand and don't hear my long drawn out in the end make no sense answer….

Hey, who gave you permission to stand?

Hey, there will be no mention of the Constitution here.

You honestly think I give a sh*t about your opinion?

Stop, stick to the questions given you to ask!!!!

I'll introduce my Magic Unicorn when I'm ready!

Imma stop you right there because I already know what question you're gonna ask and the answer is, "It's Bush's fault."

YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the AP heard wrong! I chipped it in from the sand trap for a hole in one.

Holder who is Holder?

The hand that has slapped the faces of over 300,000,000 people.

The hand that has slapped the faces of over 300,000,000 U.S. citizens.

See this hand? With this hand I choked the life out of the U.S. economy!

The hand that choked the life out of the U.S. economy.

What do you see in this hand? You see the same thing that's in your 401K.