I'd better cover my mouth to keep more bullsh*t from spilling out.

Yuck, they're quoting the Constitution!

Wow, that dress makes Michelle's butt look twice as big!

Hm, what am I going to do about that pesky Bill of Rights?

Man, I've got to get something for this allergy to white Christian Americans.

My nose is running again…this allergy to freedom is killing me!

Bill was right about Monica.

Oh crap… Pelosi's skirt fell. I just threw up in my mouth.

OMG, Joe just put the move on Hillary!!!

"Oh, crap! Did I just say 'Islamic' terrorists?"

Hmmmm…it's true. My shit don't stink!

I should have stuck my finger in my ass long ago. I like this!

"Jeez, my breath smells like B.S."

"Renegade to Agent 1… I need some help here… I'm up to my knees in B.S."

The President trying to say "shovel ready" with a straight face.

"The Vacant Presidency" starring Gollum as Obama.

Having to fight the urge to spew more lies, Obama has resorted to gluing his hand over his mouth.

Ew, that guy's not even using a teleprompter!

"Nobody's buying Bush's fault anymore. I wonder if I could say it was a faulty teleprompter…"

I love it! Every time I make that fart sound everyone in the room looks at Biden.

Betcha can't guess which union bosses dick I have in my mouth…

I hope Michelle doesn't see the McCheese in my teeth!

Bonehead to SEAL Team 6, where are you so I can tell the enemy?

Secretary Holder, explain one more time what reason is–quietly.

Seceretary Holder, explain again what treason is–quietly.

Oh, no. What if Christianity is true?

Damn, Michelle, you shouldn't have put extra chili on those french fries.

HA HA! America's been punked!

In his one moment of piqued conscience, Obama realizes who he is really fooling with.

Sneezy, sleazy, greasy, cheesy and takin' it easy

I don't think suppositories were supposed to go here.

I gotta get outta here.
Reading that copy of the Constitution
I think I puked in my mouth a little.

Damn you Americans make me sick.

Oops! Forgot this was a press conference, not a campaign speech!

Get those polling numbers off the big screen!

I think Soros spiked my kool-aid.

Oh crap. Maybe I shouldn't have invested all of my book money in Solyndra.

Gotta wipe the rest of this white powder off my nose…

Obama momentarily doubts that his own political shit does not stink. Then it passes.

He must have passed it now.

Obama sniffing his finger after his run in with "we the people" in a dark ally.

The very moment after Barry tried to do to himself what he is doing to America.

Barry photographed the instant he tried in vein to think…

That man just used my name in vain!

Uh-oh … can I blame Solyndra on Bush?

Uh-oh … 41% approval rating and dropping. Time for another job stimulus.

I wonder whether La Raza believed me when I told them I wish I could bypass Congress?!

Did the Tea Party catch on when I told La Raza I wish I could bypass Congress?

Hmmm … did I just say "redistribution of wealth" again?

NO, you can't make me swear the pledge of allegiance!

Dang, how many states are there again in the US?

Ooops! This time I swallowed the fly — what will PETA say?!!

Hmmm – Are they buying my bullshit?

Hmmm – they objected to taxing jet owners. Maybe I should tax boat owners?

What shall I tax next? — Quick, think … think of a new tax scheme …

Crap — what's the National Anthem again?

How does that thing go again? — I plege allegiance to redistribution — no … ah, to the nation for which it stands, with redistribute and social justice for all …

Ughh — did I just call Palin a "pig"?

I wish I could bypass Congress — oops, did I just say that aloud?!

If I cover my mouth they won't see my lips move and they will believe what I'm saying…

What white powder?!?!?!

Fast & Furious AND Solyndra? What if I'm NOT the messiah after all?

Oh no, how did they find my real birth certificate AND my transcripts?

They seem to believe this sh**.

Michelle put that hot dog bun back in ya skirt-ya making me sick

Achoo! I must be allergic to freedoms.

(gasp!) That guy still has money in his billfold.

I really wish Michelle would stop dressing so hideously.

Oh no! Those American's National Anthem is playing again. I refuse to put my hand over my heart so I'll just put my hand over my mouth. Maybe they won't notice.

Scary thought — what if I run out of things to tax?

Uh-oh … I hope they're not going to ask any civics questions?

My poll numbers are dropping? Hmmm, I wonder what new crisis we can fabricate to bring them back up …

You don't win this war by dying with your country.
You win this war by voting this son-of-a-bitch out of office.

You don't win a war by dying for your country.
You win a war by sending this poor, dumb bast*rd back to his.

(apologies to G.S.P.)

Big Kahuna to secret service," Get those racist tea party thugs out of my union meeting!"

"Wow, Hillery has some good blow."

"Maybe, if I cover my mouth they will not know I am lying."

What do you mean, he won't lie for me anymore?

Hillary is running against me in the primary? We had a deal!

The union members in charge of the teleprompter are on strike?

Solyndra? Damn..I thought it was Soylent Green. That was suppose to be a major part of ObamaCare.

Damn, this ciggie is about to burn my hand!

The only place left for Obama to spit his bulls**t.

Obama gets a taste of his own bulls**t.

Oh crap…I didn't think approval ratings could go that low.

"Hmm. I'm already alienating Blacks and Jews are Democrats and Unions. Who's next? Women, here I come!"

What else could I possibly tax?

There are freedoms left? — Hmmm, which ones should I eliminate next?

(squelch sound) King B to Joe. I'll show them who will win in 2012. Get the Excutive Order out of the tour bus…. the one that gives immediate dual citizenship to the Chinese.

I'm not going to say it aloud, but the stupid American middle-class can kiss my a$$.

"I can't believe these dumb ass people are falling for "look, I killed Osama"! Hold back the laughter……. HOOOOLD IT!"

If they can't see my lips moving they won't know I'm lying.

"I CAAAN smell the B.S. on my upper lip!"

Uh-oh … what was my gaffe this time?

Well … if can't levy taxes I can always charge service fees …

Futile attempt at holding in his forked tongue.

The only way anyone could think of to stop Obama's lies: Superglue his hand over his mouth.

"damn, that cobb up my a** is beginning to hurt"

Obama is mortified as his poll numbers drop to minus double digits.

Hurry! Get me a TelePrompter out here

Oh no! Was there pork in that sandwich

Oh no! How did Joe get off his leash??

Oh my Allah, I think I'm going to throw up.