Let me make No Thing perfectly clear!

1 Trillion dollars for 1 job!

Would you believe . . . . .

Obama makes clear to the audience the number of jobs he has thus far created.

Jobs? I think I've heard that somwhere. Oh, yes. Steve Jobs. He just retired.

So far I've created one job and I'm about to lose it.

Bend over and cough America

I admit it, I know nothing about jobs. Never created one. Never had one. Don't want one.

If I can claim to create one more job, I might have a chance at reelection.

I'm only going to say this one more time…we are not in a recession. (Thought bubble: It's a depression, morons!)

The meaning of life? One thing. Just one thing – Vote for Obama.

Jobs? What is something I have never had.

Everyone, this is Joe's IQ.

Mr. President, how many terms do you think you will serve?

This is the finger I pick my nose with, while we continue to lose jobs!!!!!

"…and then there will be plenty of jobs making Chinese goods."

Funny you should ask what I shot on #16.

Yes, only one term….

I do have one legal immigrant in my family.

You don't understand. Only ONE job matters… mine.

One more term, I'll have it all fixed in one more term. Trust me.

There's only one thing you need to know about me, but unfortunately, that's been sealed.

No, that sign is for my friend Steve Jobs who worked at Apple Computer.
What kind of jobs do you mean?

There's only one thing you need to know about jobs, and as soon as my teleprompter gets here, I'll know it too.

I have one qualification for President. I can print money whenever I want.

Obama searches the room for someone to blame.

Now I ask you. Isn't it worth spending 15 million dollars to create one job?

I'm the President, and you're not. So shut the hell up, white boy!

One more thing. The most difficult thing I ever went through was childbirth. 18 hours of labor and the last push was the bomb. It's a good thing Michelle was there to guide me. If I could do that, I can get you all jobs and restore America to greatness.

1 jobs created.

The dog ate my economic plan.

Who needs jobs? i never did.

One last time: THE DOG ATE THE JOBS PLAN!!

One,,,,one,,,,uhhh one. Somebody, what comes after one??

Uh…uh…uh…uh…

So this guy walks into a bar…

…. it was only once, and he told me he loved me.

I am dedicated to creating jobs…at golf courses all over the country.

Just give me one more day and I know my plan will create a job.

…one time…I'm not sure where the second kid came from.

My news jobs creation proposal is, I Quit!!!

I AM creating Jobs….ONE job at a time!

I stand corrected….wait – no I don't!

Obama demonstrates how many potatoes each family will get when the country is socialized.

Here, let me touch you with my healing finger

I know where my finger's been, do you?

ET…phone home!

Never never trust a fart

I have three plans for getting the economy back on track

No no no, just stick to the questions handed out to you before the press conference.

There can be no denying that I have created at least one job…President of the US in 2012.

Remember as election day approaches: If I can sic the DOJ on Gibson Guitars for contributing to the Republicans, I can sic them on YOU!

I am the single greatest mistake this nation ever made.

"HE's fired! I'm taking over!"

"Why are you talking to Him? I'm in charge here!"

yadabbada yadabbada yadabbada, that's all folks

You dumb Americans need to hope harder, I can't make you hope…or I would.

Hope in one hand, shit in the other, see which one gets full first…

If I only had a brain….

You never asked "how" I was gonna fundamentally change America, or what I was gonna change it in to!

No jobs created my ass! I have single handedly revitalized the teleprompter industry.

I beg to differ that I've created no shovel-ready jobs. You obviously haven't seen the illegals who re-sod my divots.

Don't worry, I'm a professional liar and will make peace with Israel by telling Iran to back off.