Hmmm — I'm running out of vacation destinations … better think of something before Michelle gets on my case.

Hey Prez! That's a bad Michael Jackson impersonation. Now beat it!!

'hello hello – operator, can you PLEASE give me the number to the White House!!?"

Hello Bubbles? Is that you?

After moonwalking on campaign promises, B.O. thought he may as well dress the part.

Michelle, I can't find my balls.

Damn, I hate when I have to call the CIA to find my balls.

Yes Maxine, you may tell the Tea Party to go straight to hell.

Bogeyman

No sweat! What's one more bad lie?

One of many bad lies.

Hey, I can see Kenya from here!

Hello, Tiger? So tell me again…when do the porn chicks start showing up?

Jay, I'd better read in the papers tomorrow that my 110 round was Bush's fault!

Is that Joe in the water hazard?!

"How dare you interrupt my game to worry me about such crap as economy and world events and such. I'm going for a birdie here!"

Another bad lie, President Obama???

Earthquake?? What do you mean, earthquake?? You talkin' bout the professional wrestler??

…tracking…tracking…tracking…stop…now look down…your ball should be right there.

Yes Mr. Soros, I'll continue destroying the economy as soon as my round is complete.

I think the secret service abandoned me here, whereever that is.

Ok, Joe,,,,pick up the ball and move it about 50 more yards TOWARDS the hole, idiot!

Earthquake, revolution in Libya, major hurricane,,,,,eeeny, meeny, miney, moe,,,,, ah, screw it. Hello, Joe – uh, I'm sorta busy right now. How about you take over for a while.

Any of you golfers ever notice that the only pictures we see of BO on the course is with a putter in his hand? I'm serious, these are the only pictures, and we never see the ball going in the hole either. Kind of exactly the way he has been as a President — putt, putt, putt; no big drives, no great iron shots, just a bunch of double bogeys.

Yes, Hello? PGA? I got another bogey. Can I blame that on Bush too?

Polls dropped to how low again?

Hey, find my ball and place it on the green!

Hey I want to sell my stocks now

if only God would turn him into a pillar of salt.

Who is that stupid looking whatever playing with his balls in public?

DC earthquake? Yeah, I'm safe here in Martha's Vineyard. Must have been the forefathers turing in their graves.

No,Joe. I'm just on vacation. You are NOT the president now.

Headline: You never want a serious crisis to go to waste

Obama: So what if Irene hits NYC? It'll be a great excuse to spend more money!

Some more of those lobsters would be good, sure steaks too, no, no salad, but get me some coconut, key lime, and chocolate pies. Can you please get some french fries for Michelle? I have a Taxpayer Express card….

Hey Joe.. It's me again..I am on the golf course and an angry mob is building..Do you believe I could pass for Tiger Woods?

Hey Joe, It's me again. Yes, that hole right there. Have the Secret Service throw my ball into that hole!!!

SOMEBODY FIND MY BALLS!!!

Maybe it is time to bunt.

So these great Libyan rebels are lead by an Al Qaeda spin off? Crap.

Al Gore invented the internet…so what? I invented golf!

Can you hear me now?
Good!
This vacation brought to us by verizon taxes

Rev. Al got the job? I'm not black enough?

Rev. Al got the job? Rev. AL? Al don't do jobs.

The donut hole is a sandtrap? You jivin' right?

Yes, dear. No, dear. Yes, dear. Hey if you can't find your girdle Michelle, then it must be Bush's fault.

(Yelling) "Hey Joe, why are you doubled over? Oh…. sorry"

I hooked it into the trees again. Send a team in to retrieve the ball and place it on the green, 6″ from the cup. Then kill them and any witnesses.