Joe, where's my clue?
Don't know, boss. I can't find mine, either.

I give up, I can't find my way out of here either.

All I said to Chuck Graham was to "stand up, let the people see you". How was I suppose to know that he was in a wheelchair?

Want to hug?

That's it! Now say "Allahu Akbar".

So I say "Allahu Akbar" right before I press the button right??

Can you believe that these morons think we should have to use Obamacare too?

Mutually Assured Confusion.

I'm tellin you Barry, if I had a dog that looked like Debbie Wasserman-Shultz, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards!

But I didn't that f—ing microphone was on.

I'm telling you, don't f**k with Hillary. She's hung like this.

I don't know Bush's phone number either

But I didn't know that f—-ing microphone was on.

Obama does not cast a reflection in the glass on the wall. Proof that he does indeed suck.

So what country are we fleeing to after we lose the election?

Stop whining, Joe. If you go, you sit at the back of the bus.

But, Barry, why can't I wipe with the Declaration of Independence? You've used up the Constitution.

I don't know what the F*ck I'm doing either.

Don't expect me to come up with the next crisis,
You're the one who went to Harvard!

But I only use the F word to sound more black. Isn't that what you wanted?

Doesn't matter how hard you try, Joe, there's no way you or anyone else will ever have a bigger carbon footprint than Al.

Joe, how many times do I have to tell you? Wash your hands after every potty break.

Why doesn't anyone want ObamaCare?

Why do I have to ride in the BACK of the bus. I want to ride up front with you.

Lord Obama, wash away my iniquity…

She had cans like this!

You'd think they would have a towel in here to dry my hands…where's the flag?

Joe makes his move towards Barry's throat

Americans are forgetful, Barry! If we use that flag prop, wear those pins, and talk like Reagan 'til election day, they'll forget all that other crap. Hey, can you ride a horse?

How many wars are we fighting again?

This is about as much as I can handle on days ending in "y", Barr.

Hey, Don't blame me! YOU'RE the one with the 39% approval rating!

Beats me. Where are you and Michelle gonna live after November 2012?

Bill is lucky, isn't he boss? Hillary has the biggest …. um … eyes I have ever seen.

Honest, boss. Your lie felt like it was this big!

One more time, when your talking about taxing the rich, your not including us right?

I'm telling you again, Joe, I'm the Prez you go to the funerals etc… now get back in line.

But what do I do when they want me answer a question?

I give up, even I can't keep up with what lie is which anymore.

But, but, but…it still IS a big Fu&%ing Deal!

Promise, I won't embarrass you if you let me use a teleprompter.

But Barry, it's easy not to gaffe when Soros writes you a speech to read off the teleprompter …

All I have to do is give him the Treasury bank account numbers and a Nigerian prince will give us $5 trillion to pay off the national debt!

No, I can't tell you how TARP money was spent because I don't have the website number for the White House internet site.

How am I to know the name of Justice John Paul Stevens? I didn't appoint him to the Supreme Court!

Look: even if Moo-chelle's ass was only *this* wide, she still couldn't fit through the door.

What the hell are Americans whining about, Barry?

Joe, I'm going to need you to do something stupid again next week to distract the American people away from my own ineptitude.

Joe we've been over this…
you can't carry a gun like the Secret Service guys
because you'll shoot your eye out.

I've looked everywhere Chief,
but I just can't find a clue!

Biden: "do I look like I'm stupid or something"?

Obama: "well,Joe…

OK,Joe. I'll keep you. But if I catch you taking a whiz in that houseplant one more time…

But Barry, pissing in the plants help them grow!

When I dropped your book in the toilet, I didn't know it was written by THAT Marx!

What trillion dollars?