Security? You'd better get down here quick, I see someone excercising their free speech.

Hello, "W"? You never explained to me that I actually have to do something here.

Hello Immigration, looks like we'll need more illegals by November 2012.

Nancy, please. I asked you to never call me here!

Hello Comcast, Fox is still on my cable. I thought we had eliminated them per our little agreement.

Are you sure? Well crap! Any way to blame it on Bush??

There are terrorists coming at me with "Don't tread on me" signs. Tell your men to start firing.

I don't think that you understand. I don't want to be judged by the content of my character.

Ghostbusters? There's a spook in the White House.

What do you mean you know that?

Maybe my poll numbers are lower, but we didn't see you and Rosalynn on the top most stylish couples list, did we?

Listen, as long as they vote based on the color of my skin and not the content of my character, I'm a shoo-in.

Obama doing his best work ever for the people…ordering 5 custom-tailored, jewel-toned golf ensembles for his next vacation.

So when do you think you can get that Constitution burned?

Hello,Five Guys Speeches with Lies? Got anything for an S&P downgrade?

(Late July 2011) Hello, China. Listen, we're going to need another $30 trillion, quick, before Moody's and S&P finish their evaluations.

Rahm? Barry. Listen, this new guy's a dud. Got any more phony crisis ideas?

No, before we can execute "phase four", we need to round up every last gun in America!

With many extravagant vacations making up the sum total of his economic growth program, Obama works on his latest travel plans.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego are not worshipping my golden image? Throw them in the furnace.

"We need some new words & catch phrases in describing that pesky Tea Party. What were those 7 words Geo. Carlin was talking about?"

Say what? No, I don't want to pay for it. Take it out of taxpayer money. Yeah, redistribute it to me.

Hello, Satan. Yeah I was wondering if I can exercise my optional renewal on our deal and go for 2014.

Hello, your supreme Dictator here, how can I help you?

Ok let's see we've destroyed US economy, healthcare, stock markets, what's left?

Yeah I was wondering if I could unilaterally raise by credit limit?.. What!!, but the US government did.

I would like to order that Salad chopper, yes I have my Govt credit card and I'm ready…

Why you laughing Hillary

I think they're on to me

Hello, can I interest you in a set of Britannica Encyclopedia's?

Hello Hillary, yes I'll hold

Sell, Sell, Sell, Sell

"One Nation under Obama" sounds perfect to me. I'll issue an executive order to that effect.

Tiger? How did you get those babes??

Romney-Bachmann-Cain-Paul-Pawlenty-Santorum-Gingrich-Perry…OK, for starters, I'll need 8 voodoo dolls.

Moshell honey, it's just Jake from State farm, at 3am

Obama's new telemarketing job – the selling out continues

He dosen't realize that the other person hang up ten minutes ago.

He doesn’t realize that the other person hang up ten minutes ago.

Really… so AA+ is worse than AAA? But it has a plus sign in it.

ACORN
yeah it's me Barry
you know
I'm gonna need more votes this time !

Hey Chavez, its workin

Let them eat cake

Can you get me on the eight o'clock to Kenya?

Now we know. He can only look left.

Sure, I know SEIU sponsored the LA commie march in May. Actually, I suggested it.

What do you mean Michelle blocked the sale of pizzas? Do I look obese to you?

No, I want a tee time before the markets open.

Gotta hang up. Soros just came in with my talking points.

"Here's my plan to solve the budget crisis; put $10 billion on the Redskins in the Super Bowl."

Let me be clear. I have Ohio St. LOSING in the Final Four.
I gotta' go. I need to finish my bracket.

Cameron? Good, just keep the slaves rioting a little longer so nobody notices me slip out the back.

Barry on the Physic Hotline: Yeah Cleo, so what do I do today?

… and won ton soup, and…

Yes, that's two double cheeseburgers a large fry, onion rings a large chocolate malt and cherry pie – and make sure you deliver it to the side door in a plain unmarked truck.

Yeah, that's right, three orders of hot buffalo wings with a gallon of red sauce and five gallons of Kool-Aid. I know what my hostages—- I mean guests need on the table to be able to swallow.

saying: Of course, you may hire a Manager of First Lady's Shoes. thinking: +1 for jobs-created-or-saved

Give me the big ole bucket of extra crispy, and dont tell Michelle

I'll make you a deal, Honey…I'll stop ordering out the day I outweigh you.

What do you mean the Treasury's printers are wore out?

Yeah, cemetery? How many registered voters do you have there? I know they're dead, it doesn't matter! Gimme all their names.

Hello? Roto Rooter? …I don't really know where to start…

Perhaps Hillary will leave if I pretend I am talking on the phone to Bill.

A bird pooped on my car?! I have a plate of eggs on the counter here, and I am gonna eat them on my front lawn, just to let them know the unbelievable carnage and mayhem I'm capable of.

Yeh, Michelle, your vacation in Oregon sounds like much more fun than honoring our 30 fallen Navy Seals at Dover. Have lots of fun.

Here's my plan…Arrest all the white people and Jews, charge them with felonies so they can't vote…That will get me almost 99 percent support at election time !

Yes, and tell Mr. Sandusky the late showers were strickly for personal hygeine…..

Am I the 10th caller? WHat did I win?