Oh, give me taxes, lots of taxes under stary skies above, don't fence me in.
That's right, the GOP wants to toss Granny over the cliff when…uh…shit, can you assholes plug the Teleprompter back in? I was on a roll…
~Our First Black Frankenstein~
…To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
Oh no, oh no, not me,
I did it my way"…
I call this new plan, my Ex-Lax Plan..you all will be shitting out tax dollars to me, me, ME!
It was just explained to me that I'm gonna be a one-timer. Can I get a hug?
Honest to Allah, the rat was THIS big! Don't worry, though – Michelle went tiger-momma on it.
How do I tax thee?
Let me count the ways…
If Michelles ass were only as small as this……but it's not.
Quick, please someone hand be a baby
"…Comin' from cracker and a brother wasn't easy,
Gettin' where I got required a heady dose of sleazy,
Reverend Wright 'n' Bill Ayers, each an early day advisor,
Served their purpose well back when I was an 'organizer'…"
All your money belongs to the government anyway so,hand it over.
Hey Joe,throw me those two tablets up here and set that bush on fire. I want to show these people something.
Honest, my huge pen is this big!
I'm so full of shit every turd is this long I swear !
Then I plan to shake Boehner until he compromises.
Michelle's butt was this big when I met her.
If we stay on the current path, our growing debt could cost us jobs and do serious damage to the economy. That's why I think we need to add another 5 trillion to the debt.
…must kill Boehner…must kill Boehner…
I'll show them whose a Lame Duck!
Dead Man Campaigning.
I need a vacation!
…must raise taxes…must raise taxes…
Michelle is worried about what kids eat in school because her ass was this big in 6th grade.
Michelle cares about childhood obesity because her ass was this big in elementary school.
Those of you in this section will ask only questions that can be answered by blaming Bush.
My very next job will be working on an airport tarmac!
Just toss me that watermelon
Come, just fall at my feet and worship me….
IT WILL DESTROY US!
To all of you who are standing against the wall because we don't have enough seats….. it's Bush's fault.
Obama: Next question. Visitor: Yes, Mr. president, thank you. I am sure the whole U.S. population is wondering…. dude, WTF?
Give me your tired, your poor, your criminal, your terrorists…hell, I don't care…I need votes, the more the better, and they'll all be "legal" by 11/12.
I need a group hug
Damn it…., can you lift that teleprompter back up to me.
Please folks, please! Just belive in hope & change a bit longer till I'm re-elected…PLEASE!!!
Get up here Jake so I can strangle the shit out of you!
Yes, humans and chimps have opposing thumbs. I'm just not sure which I am. Soros hasn't told me yet.
"…and in this section we have the U.S. Marine Corpse."
Its like I just wanna reach out and grab your money.
My next promise to America is right here in this box that i am holding….mmm…. What?…. I'm supposed to actually pick up a box……WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE FIX THIS DAMN TELEPROMPTER! how am i supposed to run the country without it.
In college I rolled one this big
BO to himself: "Okay, I'm in the perfect position. Place right hand to forehead and clench the fist leaving the fore finger out. I feel it, it's what I am and what I have to do."
then I grabbed the sides of her had and started pulling her forward.. Damn G string does me in every time
What he says: "My focus is on jobs…"
What it means: "nyuk-nyuk-nyuk…"
Hug a thug.
Wait, come back you useful idi…., um, young social…, um, can somebody plug the telepromter back in.
…on the left, the Dems; on the right, the Repubs and here in the middle am I, see I'm the centerist!
Just send all of your paychecks in to me, and I'll send you back what I think you deserve.
And I was like, "Come here Scott, give Daddy a hug.". And Biden was like, "That's the best Dr. Evil impression I've ever seen."
And this side of the room will get the social security checks.