Yes, I'm calling about the resume I submitted online…As soon as these people find Baracks real birth certificate we'll both be out of a job !

Wait,Im having to move to the other side of the table. These papers are upside down.

I'm calling about your ad for a salesman. You wouldn't believe what I've been selling to the American people!

You must be joking! My social security check will only be $233 a month? How the heck did that happen?

Okay, let's try this. I will pay YOU to publish a book about me.

Hello operator? I forgot to take my medication – can you tell me where I am?

Before I sign this resignation, I want to make absolutely sure that you can install me as King of Puerto Rico. Thanks, Nancy!

"OOOh, the Bin Laden photo? Haha..no, we were watching American Idol but we got a lot of mileage out of that one."

What do you mean Joe Biden who ?

Hello shrink? I need to see you. I mistakenly got emailed a picture from Weiner, and haven't been able to sleep since!

OK, chair's in front of window, now you want me to draw a RED bulls-eye on the window above the chair & sit in it? I can do that…