They Just wrote on my teleprompter that Usam Bin Ladin has been killed in Pakistan…..really ? No shit ! ?

We… uh… I mean, I… killed Osama Bin Laden. Donald, consider yourself and your show, "trumped".

I I I, me me, my my…I I I, me me, my my…

I'll be keeping the Bin Laden Death photos under my pillow with my birth certificate. Trust me.

"We are investigating the UBL Navy Seal team. They may have acted stupidly".

…I've chosen to run again in 2012 because I haven't finished bankrupting the country yet, that's why.

Bin Laden has been killed. If you'll pick up a score card on the way out we have a detailed version of how it happened for each one of you. No two versions are exactly alike.

Re-elect me in 2012. I killed Usama Bin Ladin.

Sure the economy stick sucks…but I killed Bin Laden.