I'd like to apologize to Vietnam for ever being in Vietnam..

"Who among us does not love NASCAR?"

"Where do you see the resemblance between myself & Lurch of the Addam's Family? sigh ..next question ."

Why the long face Senator Kerry ?

Hillary's arse is about…this wide

What the F**K kind of question is that? Who HASN'T slept with an intern..?

"How much longer do I have to stand in this position?"

"Don't tell me this picture is going to end up on LMAObama.com ?"

"Council on Foreign Affairs & they can't even provide me with the Rosetta Stone Teleprompter. "

"I'm not sure why I've been invited here..any affairs I'm having are domestic."

"I parked my yacht in another state because of recent pirate attacks,not to avoid paying taxes"

he's got the whole world in his hands…

I was FOR being us as a tool,
before I was AGAINST having served my purpose.

"Kin I git me uh speakin' li-suns?"

please correct "us" to "used"…
I'm so drunk.

" What do you mean I'm sleeping with interns? At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind !"

I'm here today to announce my candidacy as the new leader of Libya

Anyone want free Ketchup?