Son, don't believe all that hard work BS you hear, you don't actually have to be good at anything to be president.

Remember, your duty is to your country. I don't want to hear you using the G-word.

Hey, kid, wanna see the Presidential Merit Badge I got without earning?

Now son go do to a Brownie, what I have done to this country!

Didn't I already ignore you and the rest of your Boy Scout friends?

Fine, fine… now where's my merit badge little man?

With my economic policies, camping out and foraging for food will be more than just a merit badge!

Son isn't your momma illegal ? I looked the other way on deporting her so you remember who to support when you turn 18 !

I'm changin' the rules for your merit badges you little white Nazi bastard.

I think a gay scoutmaster is what you need young man. Send me the videotape.

Join the dark side, and we will rule as President and Scout.