Before we begin this staged event, let me make sure you all got paid for being here.

Wish those secret service people hadn't confiscated all of our hearing aids so I could hear what this buffoon is saying…

I came here today to advise you that you will be among the first wave approved by my Death panels.

"Just say, 'No' to prescription drugs."

…and each one of you who die under ObamaCare will make room for one more illegal alien…

"…and those communities don't regenerate so it's not surprising they get bitter, cling to Cher, wear garish pumps and develop a lisp."

"My wife is a typical black person…she has a fear of being surrounded by white folks…"

"So hand over your money and your life"

Now, on this forclosure…what is my starting bid?