WTF am I supposed to do with this? I have no experience.

Don't mess with me, I'm taking names right now!

I got another letter today from someone born with no knee caps and no eyelids. When they walk they fall down and dust gets in their eyes.

I'll take a cheeseburger with a side of socialism.

Today I signed an executive order to help Bart Stupid look stupider.

Bob in North Dakota writes that he has no arms or legs and his town has flooded.

The Constitution? What's that that?

"Mr. President, with all due respect, you'd have to be Stupak-stupid to believe that executive order will protect a single unborn child."