I apologize for America's arrogance and intolerance in supporting a national holiday dedicated to feasting upon you and yours.

The turkey's probably wondering which bus he'll get rolled under.

Obama mirandizes the turkey.
If it's convicted, dinner could be in 2016.

Barack attempts the Vulcan Mind Meld.

Thought balloon from turkey:
Thanks, but who's gonna pardon THAT turkey?

Turkey: "Why is he trying to hypnotize me?" "I'm not a democrat."

If he bows again I'm leaving.

Turkey: "Can you believe this guy?…and I thought I was a turkey!"

"I do solemnly swear, that I'll excecute the Office of the Turkey Cocks of America…"