All together now, "My kind of town, Chicago is…"

What Olympics?

General McChrystal is still holding on line one, Sir.

Then can we at least have the Special Olympics?

…AND THE HORSE I RODE IN ON?!?

"Next!"

"But I haven't fini…"

"NEXT!!!"

Um…then could you at least validate my parking stub?

I apologize for the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team.

What happens when ACORN doesn't influence the vote?

Chickens meet roost.

Wasilla in 2020, maybe?

O-BOMB-OUT.

The IOC places first in the clean-and-jerk of Barack's ego.

I think I clicked "submit" too fast on my first comment.
I think I meant it to say
"What Olympics? I just saw a podium, a microphone, and cameras!"
So much has happened since then.

Shoulda left Oprah.
Shoulda brought ACORN.

I would like to propose that lying be added as an Olympic sport. Between Bill Clinton and I, America will take all the gold medals.